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The Classic Pamela Positive: The Grass Is Greenest Where You Water It

 

“The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth – i.e. someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.”

– Mitch Temple

Blogger

Let’s be focused on how green we can make our grass!

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Truly wouldn’t that be lovely? If we all focused on what we have — the wonderful family or our friends who are like family; the job, or the opportunity to explore something new; the husband or the opportunity to date and find the right person – what a joy-filled world we would have! And a joyful world starts with each one of our own little worlds.

So this isn’t restricted to simply appreciating your marriage. This is about any relationship or circumstance in life. If you want to be happy, appreciate the parts that are good — and invest in them.

If you want to see something to grow, water it!   Let’s look at some practical ways to do so.

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Love him.  If it’s your husband, love him. Don’t focus on his faults. Well, his clothes might not match. But, he empties the dishwasher.  Let’s water that. 32px-Smiley.svg  Remember, there are millions of women… simply wanting to be married. You have a lifelong committed partner, and that is a very green blessing.

Appreciate your business partner’s strengths. If it’s your business partner, appreciate their vision even if they  miss the details. Or, appreciate their attention to detail, if they are missing part of the vision. Work with who they are, and find some quality of value. Let’s be grateful for the partners we have in life.

Love your roommate. If they don’t take out the garbage, value that they are nice companions to speak with when you get home at night, pay their rent on time, or like to water plants.

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Appreciate your teenager. Maybe they aren’t so talkative right now. But they get B+ and As, are good people, and don’t get in trouble. We definitely want to put the sprinkler on that. 32px-Smiley.svg

Value your co-chair.  Maybe they’re brusque.  But they deliver value and care a lot.  Fertilize and nurture the value they are giving.  Don’t criticize what they don’t have; be grateful for the strengths they bring. Supplement them. If they are stunning roses with thorns, then plant your gentle daisies.  That’s why you are there!

Be Grateful for the Weather as it Keeps the World Going Round. It’s cold.  I know it’s Minnesota, or Hanover.  It can be brutal!  But it’s also beautiful.  Nature and greenery are gorgeous…droughts are not.  In colder climates, strong, tightknit communities are the norm.  Families bond together.  It’s green in the land, and in your heart.

So dear Leaders… Water It… Wherever You Are!


Mitch Temple serves as the director over marriage programs at Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He represents Focus at national events, seminars, media interviews and radio programs.  He has served for 23 years as a pulpit and counseling pastor, specializing in crisis, business and marriage- and family-related issues. He is a published author in various professional journals, and co-author of four marriage books such as The Marriage Turnaround.  His website Mitch Temple Online offers individuals, companies, and churches information on services, articles by Temple, and contributions by many members.  Mitch has been married to Rhonda for 30 years, have 3 grown children and one grand baby.

Bio sources: Focus on the Family and Mitch Temple Online; Quote source: Ten Secrets to a Successful Marriage

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Sail Away from the Safe Harbor” — Mark Twain

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Mark Twain

Writer, Humorist, Entrepreneur, Publisher, and Lecturer

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People who are safe

It’s okay to feel safe. In some ways, we need to feel safe as a launching pad, knowing that someone believes in us.  

A supportive familiy,

an encouraging great uncle. 

Sisters and brothers that make us laugh. 

Perhaps a great education.  

From that harbor, we can and should launch into spectacular venues where we push ourselves out of our comfort zone. Start a business. Take a job that challenges. Visit a foreign country and try to learn a new language.  

You will grow and be inspired in ways you could never imagine. You inspire.

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People Who Have Less Support.

For those of you who dream and discover starting from shaky ground, you have a courage that will carry you through to new heights and insights. 

You might not have had that family support.

You paid your own education. 

Your best friend – is your family. 

You love your dog, another best friend. 

You might at times feel alone.

But still, you push yourself to discover

You go on a volunteer trip to help save elephants, by yourself.  You pay for your education on your own.  You eat foods you’ve never thought you would.  You step on stage!  You start a soccer club, or attend a UN meeting, write a CEO, become a CEO, or join a movement 

You still put yourself out there. You inspire!


Mark Twain was born Samuel Langhorne Clemens, in Florida, Missouri, on November 30, 1835. He was the sixth child in his family. In 1847, his father died, which caused his family to fall into poverty. This would shape Clemens’ writing and how he viewed the world. To help support his family, he began working as a printer at age 12.

In July 1961, he headed out west where he would eventually find steady work as a reporter for the Virginia City Territorial Enterprise. In his writing, he presented an honest, yet satirical portrayal of the antebellum south. His criticisms of the south, such as in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, cried out against racist attitudes. He led an exciting life as a ferry boat driver and a prospector during the Gold Rush; his experiences enhanced his understanding of the American culture which he wrote about.

In 1870, he married Olivia Langdon and the couple settled in Buffalo, New York with their four children. 

Bio Source: Wikipedia  Fig¹. Photo by Bobby Burch on Unsplash  Fig². Photo by Erik Dungan on Unsplash, Fig3 Photo by Jarad Rice on Unsplash, Bio Photo at Wikimedia

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The Classic Pamela Positive: Think About Building Your Mind As You Would Your Dream Home

When you build a home, you have to have a vision. A vision of what you would like to create. If you have a negative vision of your home then it certainly is not going to become a beautiful home! So we need to maintain that vision, even when the going gets rough. Even if you run out of brick. Even if the paint color didn’t match the way you wanted it to. Even if you have to fumigate!

Hold the vision, and keep striving for it.

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So what has helped me during tough times is not just to focus on the positive, but on gratitude. Even in tough times there is something to be grateful for. If you are having a hard time in sales and partnerships, perhaps you can be grateful you uplifted that potential client’s day with a positive smile or sincere compliment…

On an entirely different level… if a natural disaster has occurred, you can still be grateful that the sun came out, as in many countries pollution blocks the sun. That a friend is near. That people are caring and helping.

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Even in a crisis, and often especially in a crisis, the greatest goodness of people comes out. We can find the good even when we don’t seem ‘to have or own much.’ True wealth comes from qualities of being loving, kind, sincere, genuine, giving. And how wonderful — that that wealth is available to each one of us, every moment.


Fig¹. Photo by Pixabay on Pexels  Fig². Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

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The Classic Pamela Positive: “Be Loyal To Those Who Are Not Present” — Steven Covey

 “One of the most important ways to manifest integrity is to be loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, we build the trust of those who are present. When you defend those who are absent, you retain the trust of those present.”

 

Stephen Covey

Author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People 

How easy it is to make that small comment on the side: to slight the person, who slighted you. Maybe you were kinder, but you still wanted to do that little jab back. You’re probably embarrassed and can hardly admit it to yourself…

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No matter what someone has done to you, you have a job. That’s right, it’s a job, it’s a position, it’s a role, it’s a calling in life, it’s the gift of your life. You can take a stand for goodness.

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You can take a stand for truth. You can break—the—chain.

As Steven Covey, one of our greatest leadership writers admonishes us, if you want to demonstrate true integrity, “be loyal to those not present.” That means you uphold the positive virtues and see the goodness in their lives. We start with that. It also means that if you do need to be open and honest, you can do so in a kind and loving way.  You do this in their presence (not others’ presence).

What does that mean if you speak negatively when they’re not present?

You’re doing it for your own ego, your own self-satisfaction, and building up your own sense of “justice.” Do you really think speaking  pejoratively about others is going to lift yourself up? In fact, it’s going to tear you down. If you try to pull others down, you pull down your own integrity: You pull yourself down with them.

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Being loyal to those not present builds trust. In essence, what Steven Covey is saying is, be gracious. Uphold others’ character — and your own character — by speaking well of others and expecting their best.

That brings about the best for everyone! And about the best in your life, too!

Speak well,


Stephen Covey was a professor and author, writer of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. His work focused primarily on leadership, family and living with principle. He was a professor at the Jon M. Huntsman School of Business at Utah State University. When he was younger he played sports but an injury in his youth switched his focus from athletics to academics. He attended the University of Utah for his undergraduate degree and attended Harvard for his MBA. Although he earned his doctorate from Brigham Young University, he has also been awarded ten more honorary doctorates. He was also a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In his spare time, he enjoyed cycling and giving keynote addresses. He and his wife, Sandra, have nine children and fifty-two grandchildren. 

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The Classic Pamela Positive: Winning Over Obstacles

“History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.” 

Bertie C. Forbes

Founder of Forbes magazine

Sometimes, you have to try…..

Really hard!

It might be painful, it might be tough and you might feel like the world is against you!   But Bertie Forbes persevered, his family joined him, and his magazine still stands today.  What a testament! He is a ‘notable winner.’

You can do the same. Stay with your vision and keep persevering. What you create today could last for generations!

You Can Be A Notable Winner,


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Bertie C. Forbes (1880-1954) was the founder of Forbes magazine. He was born in Scotland, spent time in South Africa, and emigrated to New York in 1904. He studied at the University College, Dundee and then worked at a local newspaper before he moved to Johannesburg, South Africa. When he moved to New York, Forbes worked a number of journals before he would leave to found his own publication. In 1917, he founded Forbes where he remained the Editor-in-Chief for almost 40 years, up until his death. Towards the end of his life, his two eldest children would join him at the paper. In 1942, he also was a founding member of the Investors League.

BioSource: Wikipedia; Images: Fig¹.  Photo by Wikimedia

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The Classic Pamela Positive: “The Soul Is The Core Of Your Being.” – Deepak Chopra

“The soul is the core of your being. Your body is in your soul. Your mind is in your soul. The whole universe is in your soul, and your soul is part of the universal consciousness.”

Deepak Chopra

Author and Lecturer

We get caught up in Silicon Valley. Caught up in the highrises of Hong Kong, our most expensive real estate in the world. Caught up in fashion, fancy dinners and high living.

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But Deepak Chopra tells us we need to be caught up in the soul. In fact, everything relates to it. Our goodness, ethics, love, ability to help, care and do is essential to our soul. It’s essential that this expression of soul also helps others in the most meaningful and permanent way possible.

We can’t escape matters of the heart, and we can’t escape matters of the soul. It’s what populates our true being, and the true being of the world. 

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Be Invested In Soul Living,


Deepak Chopra is an India-born, American author and lecturer, focusing on spirituality and mind-body health. He began his career as a doctor, before moving into alternative medicine. He focuses on meditation and spiritual practices, and the effect of one’s thoughts and emotions on one’s physical health. He is a prominent figure in the New Age movement, and the author of more than 65 books, including 19 New York Times bestsellers. He has sold more than 20 million copies. His books include The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Buddha: A Story of Enlightenment, and Jesus: A Story of Enlightenment. Deepak and his wife, Rita, have been married for over 30 years, and they have two children.

Bio Source: Wikipedia, Deepak Chopra Official Website, https://www.deepakchopra.com/metahuman, OPRAH.COM, Published on May 15, 2012, “What’s the Secret to a Happy Life? Oprah Talks to Deepak Chopra”, http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Oprahs-Trip-to-India-Oprahs-Interview-with-Deepak-Chopra/4#ixzz1yHRQDozu ; Images: Fig¹. Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash  Fig². Photo by Brett Zeck on Unsplash, Bio Photo on Wikimedia


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