Featured post

The Classic Pamela Positive: The Grass Is Greenest Where You Water It

 

“The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth – i.e. someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.”

– Mitch Temple

Blogger

Let’s be focused on how green we can make our grass!

jonas-weckschmied-117633-unsplash.jpg

Truly wouldn’t that be lovely? If we all focused on what we have — the wonderful family or our friends who are like family; the job, or the opportunity to explore something new; the husband or the opportunity to date and find the right person – what a joy-filled world we would have! And a joyful world starts with each one of our own little worlds.

So this isn’t restricted to simply appreciating your marriage. This is about any relationship or circumstance in life. If you want to be happy, appreciate the parts that are good — and invest in them.

If you want to see something to grow, water it!   Let’s look at some practical ways to do so.

512px-Watering-can-green

Love him.  If it’s your husband, love him. Don’t focus on his faults. Well, his clothes might not match. But, he empties the dishwasher.  Let’s water that. 32px-Smiley.svg  Remember, there are millions of women… simply wanting to be married. You have a lifelong committed partner, and that is a very green blessing.

Appreciate your business partner’s strengths. If it’s your business partner, appreciate their vision even if they  miss the details. Or, appreciate their attention to detail, if they are missing part of the vision. Work with who they are, and find some quality of value. Let’s be grateful for the partners we have in life.

Love your roommate. If they don’t take out the garbage, value that they are nice companions to speak with when you get home at night, pay their rent on time, or like to water plants.

courtney-hedger-336844-unsplash.jpg

Appreciate your teenager. Maybe they aren’t so talkative right now. But they get B+ and As, are good people, and don’t get in trouble. We definitely want to put the sprinkler on that. 32px-Smiley.svg

Value your co-chair.  Maybe they’re brusque.  But they deliver value and care a lot.  Fertilize and nurture the value they are giving.  Don’t criticize what they don’t have; be grateful for the strengths they bring. Supplement them. If they are stunning roses with thorns, then plant your gentle daisies.  That’s why you are there!

Be Grateful for the Weather as it Keeps the World Going Round. It’s cold.  I know it’s Minnesota, or Hanover.  It can be brutal!  But it’s also beautiful.  Nature and greenery are gorgeous…droughts are not.  In colder climates, strong, tightknit communities are the norm.  Families bond together.  It’s green in the land, and in your heart.

So dear Leaders… Water It… Wherever You Are!


Mitch Temple serves as the director over marriage programs at Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He represents Focus at national events, seminars, media interviews and radio programs.  He has served for 23 years as a pulpit and counseling pastor, specializing in crisis, business and marriage- and family-related issues. He is a published author in various professional journals, and co-author of four marriage books such as The Marriage Turnaround.  His website Mitch Temple Online offers individuals, companies, and churches information on services, articles by Temple, and contributions by many members.  Mitch has been married to Rhonda for 30 years, have 3 grown children and one grand baby.

Bio sources: Focus on the Family and Mitch Temple Online; Quote source: Ten Secrets to a Successful Marriage

The Classic Pamela Positive: “You Fight, You Try Your Best, But If You Lose, You Don’t Have To Break Five Racquets.” – Rafael Nadal

“You fight, you try your best, but if you lose, you don’t have to break five racquets and smash up the locker room. You can do those things, but when you’re finished, nothing’s changed. You’ve still lost. If something positive came from that, I probably would do it. But I see only negativity.”

— Rafael Nadal

Spanish Professional Tennis Player

nadal 1 (1) (1).jpg

What an outstanding leadership statement. We all have times that something challenging happens. Do you tear around, pull your hair out, snap at someone?

What will you do? Spend your anger until you are tired. It’s all about you and you expressing anger.

roberto-salinas-621916-unsplash (1) (1)

Turn away to a calmer state, one that benefits all. Remember, you are a leader to others. Everyone is.

Everyone is a leader to someone, simply by our daily actions. So if that business partnership doesn’t come through, do you slam the door? Or do you sit down calm with your team, thank them for their efforts, and discuss lessons learned? If you didn’t win the election, do you set the stage on fire? Or do you rally the troupes and thank them for all their efforts and have a come-together-let’s-appreciate-all-our-work-together dinner?

Losing is an attitude. Not an action.

There actually is no loss. That’s in your mind.

So take the lessons learned, and have a winning mind.

rawpixel-706373-unsplash (1)

Even if you didn’t win, you still won knowledge. You learned how to do something better! Share that with yourself and the team. Celebrate that next victory for you know you are going out on court to do better the next time!

Smashing rackets wastes time. It deletes reflection. It’s no model for others up and coming in the world.

Hold your head high humbly proud about your effort. You did your best.   Then, listen, learn and keep going higher!

No Smashing,

Pamela Hawley's Signature with an Orange Heart

Rafael Nadal was born in Mallorca, Spain, on June 3, 1986. When he was 3 years old, his uncle, Toni Nadal, a former professional tennis player, started working with him, seeing an aptitude for the sport in young Rafael. At the age of 8, Nadal won an under-12 regional tennis championship, giving Uncle Toni the incentive to step up his training. When Nadal was just 12 years old, he won the Spanish and European tennis titles in his age group. He turned professional at age 15. At the age of 19, in 2005, Nadal won the French Open the first time he competed in the tournament, and his world ranking shot to No. 3. With his powerful topspin-heavy shots, speed and mental toughness, Nadal reigned as one of the “Big Four” of men’s tennis (along with Federer, Novak Djokovic and Andy Murray) for the next several years. In 2010, he was triumphant at the French Open and Wimbledon, and his subsequent win at the U.S. Open made him just the second men’s player to achieve the career Golden Slam—victories at all four majors, as well as Olympic gold.

The 2016 season, after suffering a first-round loss at the Australian Open in January, he rebounded to win titles in Monte Carlo and Barcelona. However, Nadal’s attempts to play through a nagging wrist injury took its toll, and he was forced to pull out of his favorite tournament, the French Open, after two rounds. Nadal took part in Thailand’s “A Million Trees for the King” project, planting a tree in honour of King Bhumibol Adulyadej on a visit to Hua Hin during his Thailand Open 2010.

Outside of tennis, Nadal is close with his parents and younger sister, María Isabel. He has a deep love for football and supports Real Madrid. In 2007, he founded Fundación RafaNadal to support young adults and children. Since then, he’s also created a tennis academy for disadvantaged children called “Anantapur Sports Village”.

Fig¹.  Retrieved from Carine06 on Flickr, Fig².  Photo by Robert Salinas on Unsplash, Fig³.  Photo by Rawpixel on Unsplash

TWITTER | FACEBOOK | LINKEDIN | INSTAGRAM | IMDB | WEBSITE | UNIVERSALGIVING

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Be prepared to fall in love all over again every day.” – Michael J. Fox

“Be prepared to fall in love all over again every day.”

– Michael J. Fox

Actor and Activist

This is true for every relationship. Whether it is your husband, partner, friend, calling in life, your Labrador, or the beautiful sun we greet each day, be prepared… to fall in love again.

affection-blur-close-up-couple-427547.jpg

Appreciating all we have is the most wonderful, nurturing gift we can wrap for ourselves, others and the world.  It envelops everything in the gift-wrap of love.

photo-1455819413567-ef04b7e1fe3d.jpeg

Michael J. Fox is an actor and activist. He has appeared in iconic roles including Marty McFly in Back to the Future and Alex P. Keaton in the TV show Family Ties. He was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in 1991, revealing his condition publicly in 1998.  Since then he has been a powerful activist promoting research for a cure. Fox is also the author of three books, including the memoir, Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist.

He has been married to actress Tracy Pollan since 1988, and they have four children.

Bio Source: Wikipedia  Fig¹. Photo by Rosie Ann on Pexels  Fig². Jeremy Cai on Unsplash

TWITTER | FACEBOOK | LINKEDIN | INSTAGRAM | IMDB | WEBSITE | UNIVERSALGIVING

The Classic Pamela Positive: “When You’re At The Table, You’re Open And Your Defences Are Down”

“People want that gathering together. The table is magical. When you’re at the table, you’re open and your defences are down.”

―Lidia Bastianich
American Chef and TV Host

Mealtimes seem to be a time of the past. We eat in our cars and desks or even holding a power bar walking out the door…

photo-1547928575-614d973bad56.jpeg

Yet, Lidia points out how we can find deep caring and nourishment at the table. It’s not just sharing food, but also sharing of our hearts and feelings.

It’s a time to be a sounding board and to have sounding boards…from people who truly care about you. It’s a time to relax, and yet also profound as some of the most important issues in your life may come out in a casual way.

Two Women And One Man Eating

Don’t miss this time with your loved ones. “The table is magical.”  Or I might add  “The people at the table are magical.”

You’re Magical,

Pamela Hawley's Signature with an Orange Heart

Lidia Matticchio Bastianich (born on February 21, 1947, in Pula, Croatia–then a part of Italy), is an American chef, television host, author, and restaurateur. Specializing in Italian and Italian-American cuisine, Lidia has been a regular contributor to public television cooking show lineups since 1998. In 2011, she launched her fourth TV series Lidia’s Italy in America. She also owns several Italian restaurants in the U.S. in partnership with her daughter Tanya Bastianich Manuali and her son, Joe Bastianich, including Felidia (founded with her ex-husband, Felice), Del Posto, Esca, and Becco in Manhattan; Lidia’s Pittsburgh in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; and Lidia’s Kansas City in Kansas City, Missouri.

Bio Source: Wikipedia  Fig¹. Photo by The Creative Exchange on Unsplash  FIg². Photo by mentatdgt on Pexels

TWITTER | FACEBOOK | LINKEDIN | INSTAGRAM | IMDB | WEBSITE | UNIVERSALGIVING

The Better Angels of our Nature – Abraham Lincoln

At times like these, we need history as a guide. We were on the cusp of the Civil War, and our president had to bring us together.   Abraham Lincoln can provide some inspiration: 

In your hands, my dissatisfied fellow-countrymen, and not in mine, is the momentous issue of civil war. The government will not assail you. You can have no conflict, without being yourselves the aggressors. You have no oath registered in Heaven to destroy the government, while I shall have the most solemn one to “preserve, protect and defend” it.

I am loth to close.  We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection . The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battle-field, and patriot grave, to every living heart and hearthstone, all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better  angels of our nature .”

– Abraham Lincoln

16th President of the United States

During this speech, he mentions the Union more than 20 times. This is by design.  Abraham Lincoln is reminding us we are together in spirit and heart. We must stay together. Cling together. Put our differences aside.  

Lincoln was adamant that the Union stay intact. Secession was not a possibility. And today, we see that unified country today.  No one talks about the U.S. splitting.

Yet we feel split.

People can’t believe how many supporters there are for a certain candidate. Or they are dismayed there wasn’t a resounding vote for either side… or they feel divisiveness because they can’t believe a family member voted this, way or that… or didn’t vote at all.

There is so much to be angry at.

Yet Lincoln guided us in leadership to a place of “Union” mentality.  It is about keeping our country together: Knowing that we are all Americans, all under the same constitution, all lovers of freedom. There are so many things about America we can see that are good, and hold in common.   

Please remember Lincoln’s admonition:

In your hands, my dissatisfied fellow-countrymen, and not in mine, is the momentous issue of civil war. The government will not assail you. You can have no conflict, without being yourselves the aggressors. You have no oath registered in Heaven to destroy the government, while I shall have the most solemn one to “preserve, protect and defend” it.

I am loth to close.  We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection . The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battle-field, and patriot grave, to every living heart and hearthstone, all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better  angels of our nature .”

– Abraham Lincoln

16th President of the United States 

You, and I, are responsible for the “better angels of our nature.”  How can you bring out the better angels of your nature today? How will you do it?    

I Am Thanking Each One of You for the “Angel in You.”  You have an Angel in you, this is your true nature. Go find it and let him, or her or it or they shine.  

We Are All Together,


Abraham Lincoln served as the 16th President of the United States, during the Civil War.  He is regarded as one of America’s greatest heroes due to his role as saviour of the Union and emancipator of slaves. His rise from humble beginnings to achieving the highest office in the land is a remarkable story. His eloquent support of democracy and insistence that the Union was worth saving embody the ideals of self-government that all nations strive to achieve. Lincoln’s distinctively humane personality and incredible impact on the nation have endowed him with an enduring legacy. He is also known for his humble background, self-education, and skill with writing and rhetoric.  He was not a member of any one organised religion, but he frequently used Biblical imagery and references in his writing and speaking and referenced a Providence who had a higher purpose. Lincoln married Mary Todd on November 4, 1842, at her sister Elizabeth’s home in Springfield, Illinois. She was 23 years old and he was 33 years of age. They had four sons, all born in Springfield.

Images: Fig1. Photo by Massimo Sartirana on Unsplash, Fig2.Photo by Noorulabdeen Ahmad on Unsplash, Fig3. Photo by RF._.studio from Pexels, Fig4. Photo by Boho Photography from Pexels

TWITTER | FACEBOOK | LINKEDIN | INSTAGRAM | IMDB | WEBSITE | UNIVERSALGIVING

The Classic Pamela Positive: “You’ll See Spirit Operating Everywhere” – Dan Millman

“Like the flower, trusting Spirit working according to a higher will beyond the reach of your mind, you’ll see Spirit operating everywhere, in everyone and everything… To trust the process of your life. The more you trust Spirit in this way, the more you will work with it directly as a living force in your life… unfolding, like a flower, toward the Light.” 

—Dan Millman

American Author and Lecturer

Purple Flowers in Bloom

Yes, as hard as life gets… I do think that there is a Spirit, Nature, a Power, aiding you right now! It is not up to you alone.

You are not alone.

So, it is time to Trust this Spirit, this governing power. Then you need to know it, believe it. Get that down deep in your heart!

The flower is tightly closed right now. It’s just a bud. That’s you. Soon, it will burst forth with its glory, spreading its petals and beauty. It will open.

So will you. You are that bud, and you will be that flower. Keep trusting that Spirit Power to come into your aid to help you be the best you can be!

I’m Watching For a Spirit Power In Your Life to Help You Open,


Dan Millman began his career in the athletic arena. He competed in gymnastics and trampoline in high school and college, winning international acclaim. He became gymnastics director at Stanford University in 1968, and in 1972 moved to Oberlin College. He began writing in the 1980s, on diverse topics including fitness and philosophy. His writing and motivational speaking tend to focus on achieving one’s potential. In 2006, his book Way of the Peaceful Warrior was adapted into a film, Peaceful Warrior. He is married to Joy Millman, and they have three daughters and two grandchildren.

Bio Source: Wikipedia  Fig¹.  Photo by Simon Matzinger on Pexels, Fig2. Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels. Fig3. Photo by Daria Shevtsova from Pexels, Fig4. Photo by catrina farrell on Unsplash

TWITTER | FACEBOOK | LINKEDIN | INSTAGRAM | IMDB | WEBSITE | UNIVERSALGIVING