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The Classic Pamela Positive: The Grass Is Greenest Where You Water It

 

“The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth – i.e. someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.”

– Mitch Temple

Blogger

Let’s be focused on how green we can make our grass!

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Truly wouldn’t that be lovely? If we all focused on what we have — the wonderful family or our friends who are like family; the job, or the opportunity to explore something new; the husband or the opportunity to date and find the right person – what a joy-filled world we would have! And a joyful world starts with each one of our own little worlds.

So this isn’t restricted to simply appreciating your marriage. This is about any relationship or circumstance in life. If you want to be happy, appreciate the parts that are good — and invest in them.

If you want to see something to grow, water it!   Let’s look at some practical ways to do so.

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Love him.  If it’s your husband, love him. Don’t focus on his faults. Well, his clothes might not match. But, he empties the dishwasher.  Let’s water that. 32px-Smiley.svg  Remember, there are millions of women… simply wanting to be married. You have a lifelong committed partner, and that is a very green blessing.

Appreciate your business partner’s strengths. If it’s your business partner, appreciate their vision even if they  miss the details. Or, appreciate their attention to detail, if they are missing part of the vision. Work with who they are, and find some quality of value. Let’s be grateful for the partners we have in life.

Love your roommate. If they don’t take out the garbage, value that they are nice companions to speak with when you get home at night, pay their rent on time, or like to water plants.

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Appreciate your teenager. Maybe they aren’t so talkative right now. But they get B+ and As, are good people, and don’t get in trouble. We definitely want to put the sprinkler on that. 32px-Smiley.svg

Value your co-chair.  Maybe they’re brusque.  But they deliver value and care a lot.  Fertilize and nurture the value they are giving.  Don’t criticize what they don’t have; be grateful for the strengths they bring. Supplement them. If they are stunning roses with thorns, then plant your gentle daisies.  That’s why you are there!

Be Grateful for the Weather as it Keeps the World Going Round. It’s cold.  I know it’s Minnesota, or Hanover.  It can be brutal!  But it’s also beautiful.  Nature and greenery are gorgeous…droughts are not.  In colder climates, strong, tightknit communities are the norm.  Families bond together.  It’s green in the land, and in your heart.

So dear Leaders… Water It… Wherever You Are!


Mitch Temple serves as the director over marriage programs at Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He represents Focus at national events, seminars, media interviews and radio programs.  He has served for 23 years as a pulpit and counseling pastor, specializing in crisis, business and marriage- and family-related issues. He is a published author in various professional journals, and co-author of four marriage books such as The Marriage Turnaround.  His website Mitch Temple Online offers individuals, companies, and churches information on services, articles by Temple, and contributions by many members.  Mitch has been married to Rhonda for 30 years, have 3 grown children and one grand baby.

Bio sources: Focus on the Family and Mitch Temple Online; Quote source: Ten Secrets to a Successful Marriage

UCSB Freshman, Alex Roginski, Finds Passion in Picking up Trash

“I like finding a really dirty street and cleaning it.” 

Alex Roginski 

Menlo Park Resident

A team anxious to do good in the world has found their mark and he didn’t even have to look far. He simply saw trash on the street and decided that he was going to do something about it, rather than let it sit there. 

Alex jumps on his bike with a trailer behind in which sit the garbage bags and his trusted dog, Ollie.

Roginski is a high school student who is motivated by things that “feels like the right thing to do”.   

He looks at the fact that he is an able-bodied person and he can do something, so why shouldn’t he do it?

“I have the ability and there is an obvious problem out there that people seem to be neglecting.”

Soon Roginski will be graduating from high school and heading off to UC Santa Barbara in the fall. Roginski is going to be an astute statistics major at UC Santa Barbara, which is no small feat.But even with such a collegiate triumph, he still gets motivated by trash.   

“Sometimes I see a plastic bag flying down the street and I say “I’m gonna go get that.”

His goal is to amass three bags of liters a day. You can see the numbers in the statistics major’s mind; 

  • What are my results? 
  • How am I quantifying my impact? 

All of this is  such a great statement for the youth of today who want a quantifiable impact. 

May we find an activity where we can better the world….. and start doing it today. 

You don’t have to get paid.   It doesn’t have to be your job but you can be a great model by just finding something you love to do that motivates you. It doesn’t have to be hard. 

Remember, Alex Roginski is motivated by trash. Yup! He loves trash and being the person who takes it away.

What are you going to be motivated by today? What will you help heal? What will you make better in our world? Let’s go after it now, and with joy.

Now I’m going to go pick up the first piece of trash that I see. I want to see a more beautiful world, for everyone.  

We Can All Clean Up our World, 

Pamela Hawley's Signature with an Orange Heart

Images: Fig 1. Photo by Magali Gauthier on The Almanac, Fig 2. Photo by Lukas from Pexels, Fig 3. Photo by mali maeder from Pexels, Fig 4. Photo by Anthony Reungère on Unsplash; Article: Street-cleaning teen takes dog along for the ride by Angela Swartz | The Almanac | https://www.almanacnews.com/news/2020/10/23/street-cleaning-teen-takes-dog-along-for-the-ride 

The Classic Pamela Positive: Inhale Courage, Exhale Fear

Inhale courage, exhale fear

Inhale courage, exhale fear

Inhale courage, exhale fear…

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Every day you can make a step towards your goals. Every day you can be a kinder person. Every day, you can give and receive more love. Inhale the courage to do so, exhale any fear that is preventing you.

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Inhaling Love For You And The World,


Fig¹. Photo by Erik Brolin on Unsplash  Fig².  Photo by madison Lavern on Unsplash

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The Classic Pamela Positive: A Solution To Any Relationship Problem

“You can have no conflict without being yourselves the aggressors… Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection.”

― Abraham Lincoln

16th American President of the United States,

Statesman, and Lawyer

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No matter how we feel we have been wronged, let’s follow Lincoln’s wise advice.

At a minimum, we can pause before we take action.

We slow down to determine the right pathway.

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Even if we take a stance for what is right, we must come not from a space of ourselves being right.

Taking action simply because we are right does not serve the end. Taking action because we feel wronged most certainly doesn’t.

It wins no battles. Your opponent, who is indeed your friend, will not feel heard, respected, even loved.

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We must step back and come from a space of calm and centeredness, expecting the best for both parties. Then, listening as to what that next step should be, we will be led. Your response, then, is not a reaction; it is thoughtful. It is not ever in retaliation, for no law endorses it. It is of pure motive, as Abraham Lincoln speaks to “the better angels of our nature.”

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It does not matter if you are in politics, business, a personal relationship, in a family. It all applies. It’s a law of nature that allows us to keep that “Union” that Abraham Lincoln fought so dearly for, for our country. Thus by his example and success, we too can take a stand to preserve the union of any relationship in our lives.


Abraham Lincoln served as the 16th President of the United States, during the Civil War.  He is regarded as one of America’s greatest heroes due to his role as savior of the Union and emancipator of slaves. His rise from humble beginnings to achieving the highest office in the land is a remarkable story. His eloquent support of democracy and insistence that the Union was worth saving embody the ideals of self-government that all nations strive to achieve. Lincoln’s distinctively humane personality and incredible impact on the nation have endowed him with an enduring legacy. He is also known for his humble background, self-education, and skill with writing and rhetoric.  He was not a member of any one organized religion, but he frequently used Biblical imagery and references in his writing and speaking, and referenced a Providence who had a higher purpose. Lincoln married Mary Todd on November 4, 1842, at her sister Elizabeth’s home in Springfield, Illinois. She was 23 years old and he was 33 years of age. They had four sons, all born in Springfield.

Bio Source: Wikipedia, BIOGRAPHY  Fig¹.  Photo by Library of Congress on Unsplash  Fig². Photo by Alexander Ramsey on Unsplash  Fig³. Photo by Vera Arsic on Pexels  Fig⁴. Photo by VisionPic .net on Pexels, Bio Photo by Britannica Website.

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The Classic Pamela Positive: “You Do Things When the Opportunities Come Along” – Warren Buffett

You do things when the opportunities come along.  I’ve had periods in my life when I’ve had a bundle of ideas come along, and I’ve had long dry spells. If I get an idea next week, I’ll do something. If not, I won’t do a damn thing.”  

― Warren Buffett

The Chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway,

American Investor, Business Tycoon, and Philanthropist

You’re an entrepreneur. A scientist. A playwright. A second-grade teacher with a curriculum you need to put together. An artist. A music organizer. A guitarist. A preacher. All of them need new ideas, new creativity, every day!

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It’s exciting… and also a lot of pressure.

What’s happening when “you don’t have any ideas”?

Well, something very important is happening.

First, your brain cannot be on creative overdrive every moment. It needs time to recharge and build up “blank” space. It’s like saying you don’t need to sleep. Body, mind, heart and soul all need time for rest… and then you can keep giving your 100% and be charged to excel again!

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Secondly, patience is key. Just as Warren Buffett says, “if he doesn’t have an idea he doesn’t do anything.”

That’s really key. He’s not forcing it. He’s staying patient. He’s believing that the new idea is going to come.

And here’s where the real lesson is. He doesn’t make a billion dollar mistake.

If you get worried, push something, force an answer- it’s usually not right. So Buffett has done a brilliant but simple thing. He hasn’t made a lot of mistakes because he is not pushing it. He’s trusting the creative process. And therefore, waiting, patiently, for that wisdom. Therefore he makes billions of dollars, rather than lose billions of dollars.

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Let’s review Buffett’s wisdom again. How does this affect your life? When have you made a rushed mistake? When you have had patience and waited for that peaceful answer? Please comment below!


Born in Nebraska in 1930, Warren Buffett demonstrated keen business abilities at a young age. Nebraska was hit hard by the effects of the Great Depression. Like many children of the Depression, Buffett grew up to respect the value of money.

In grade school and high school Buffett not only showed his precocious proclivity for business by delivering newspapers, but also sold stamps, Coca-Cola beverages, golf balls and magazines door-to-door. By the time he was 15, Warren had amassed $2,000 and used it to buy a 40-acre farm in Nebraska. He hired a farm laborer to work on the land, then used the profits to help pay his way through University.

He formed Buffett Partnership Ltd. in 1956, and by 1965 he had assumed control of Berkshire Hathaway. Overseeing the growth of a conglomerate with holdings in the media, insurance, energy and food and beverage industries, Buffett became one of the world’s richest men and a celebrated philanthropist. In June of 2006, Buffett announced his intention to give away most of his fortune to charity. Buffett believes in family and has 4 children, and lives in the same hometown of Nebraska.

Bio Source: Wikipedia  Fig¹.  Photo by LinkedIn Sales Navigator on Unsplash  Fig².  Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

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The Classic Pamela Positive: Serenity, Courage and Wisdom

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change; The courage to change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference.”

– Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr

Professor, Reformed Theologian, Ethicist,

Commentator on Politics and Public Affairs

Dr. Niebuhr’s quote is one of the most world renowned, for he paints to the fact that “everything you need is already inside,” and the importance of believing in oneself, balanced with a practical sense of what can be done.  We should encourage ourselves in areas in which we can truly make a change.  Of course the process of trying, especially if we love it, is important to our growth at times. At other times, we need to let go and focus on the positive mountain which is beckoning us to climb it.

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For the most part, it does come down to motives, too. If it is our past, you cannot change it.  Therefore his wisdom guides us.  Focus on the present, right now, right now, right now…in order to live fully and effect change as we speak…


Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr was a theologian and orator.  He was an outspoken critic of poor industry conditions in factories.  He supported unions by letting organizers use his pulpit to advocate for workers rights.  He edited the magazine Christianity and Crisis for more than twenty years, and published a number of books and essays, including The Nature and Destiny of Man.  He was married to Ursula Keppel-Compton, a leading figure at Barnard College, who worked with Niebuhr on his writing.

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