The Pamela Positive: “What’s Important to You Is Important to Me”

Pamela’s Favorite…Pamela Positive

“What’s Important To You Is Important To Me”

This is one of my favorite statements.  It helps me understand and sincerely care about others.  When we truly listen to our family, friends, partners, team mates, improv players, then we can really hear…what’s important.

Sometimes it might be a clean kitchen.  For others, it might be taking the dog for a walk or getting the car cleaned.  Or it might be that you showed up at your daughter’s gymnastics recital. And sometimes, sitting down and listening to your boyfriend, while not multitasking and cleaning the dishes at the same time, may be the biggest sign of attention. It can even be as small as keeping your desk clean at work because you know it inspires your manager.

The point is, we all fall into habits.  These habits are what are most comfortable, and convenient, for us.  They are our priorities. But they are not necessarily important to others.  Instead, we need to take a look at what motivates others.

So even if we can live with a messy desk, if we know the manager is inspired to see an ordered workspace, then we can try to rise to that new standard.  If it bothers our companion that we’re doing something else while he’s talking about a serious issue, then we need to stop and sit down, and give our undivided attention.  If it makes a difference to our mom that we check the stove one more time before you leave the kitchen, then we make her feel cared for, and can do it again.

These are the small and important ways that we can let someone know they are important to us.

It’s the Substance of what builds or breaks down any relationship.

Many of us have felt that overwhelmingly warm feeling when someone does something for us… It specifically hits our hearts.  “Ah…how grateful I am that they took out the recycling!  I love an ordered home…”  It’s something that puts you at  peace.  And that positive energy allows you to give more.

“What’s Important to You is Important to Me.”

What a beautiful way to live…

The Pamela Positive: Do You Have Any Volunteers In Your Garden?

I’m fortunate enough to have grown up with a very small vegetable garden that my parents maintained.  We often ate vegetables for dinner from the garden, picked flowers, grew corn, potatoes, zucchini.  We also had our “volunteer plants,” meaning seeds that happened to pop up, nurture themselves, and volunteer their wonderful offerings to us.  Sometimes it might be a type of berry, a different tomato plant, or a flower.

Let’s encourage all the “volunteers” in our lives.  Whether they be unexpected gifts, new people, or effortless events that pop up into our lives to help, inspire, or encourage us.  Not everything has to be done through an act of will.  Sometimes goodness shows up on its own… and we should embrace and be grateful for its welcome entrance into our lives…

The Pamela Positive: Christopher Reeve’s Progression of Dreams

“At first dreams seem impossible, then improbable, then inevitable.”

– Christopher Reeve

What a lovely quote…and a good reminder for us all…

Christopher Reeve (1952-2004) was an American actor and activist.  As an actor, he is best known for his portrayal of Superman.  Reeve was married to Dana Morosini and had three children, two from a previous relationship.  In 1995, Reeve was injured in a horse-riding accident which shattered vertebrae in his spine and left him a quadriplegic.  He became an influential activist for individuals with spinal injuries, bringing attention to the cause through speaking and media, and founding the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation.  Reeve inspired many with his personal story of persevering through his physical challenges.  He made his directorial debut after his injury, and also performed in small acting roles, including on the Superman-based TV show, Smallville.  He authored two autobiographical books after his injury, Still Me and Nothing Is Impossible.

The Pamela Positive: Start Your Life Out With Sugar

According to a Persian tradition, wedding guests sprinkle the new bride and groom with sugar.  It means that everyone is wishing them sweetness in life as they start out on their journey together.

Here is more background on beautiful Persian wedding traditions.

Whether we are married, single, have wonderful friends, are in college or retired, may we all “sprinkle sugar” on each other each day.  Let’s encourage that sweetness to reign in our daily lives, every day!

The Pamela Positive: Wisdom, Philosophy, Greatness

“Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.”  — Kahlil Gibran

What a beautiful quote from Kahlil Gibran, a philosopher and leader who was so conscious of living in tune with nature, our feelings and our sincerest intentions.

Gibran was born in Lebanon in 1883 and emigrated to the United States as a young man.  He is best known for his work of philisophical essays, The Prophet.  He is the third best-selling poet in the world, after Shakespeare and Lao-Tzu–excellent company to be in!

The Pamela Positive: Thinking of the things in my life that bring me pleasure is a peaceful and positive way to start the day. – Warren Bennis

“Thinking of the things in my life that bring me pleasure is a peaceful and positive way to start the day — and a much better way to deal with a perceived failure than to ruminate on it.  When you’re down, think of the things you have to look forward to. When you are no longer in the grip of the mishap, then you are ready to reflect on it…  After reflection, the learning of the past is known, and the solution of the experience — the course of action we must take as a result — becomes clear. ”

— Warren Bennis

Warren Bennis is a pioneer in Leadership studies, writing numerous influential books on the subject, including Leaders and Leading For a Lifetime.  He is a business professor at the University of Southern California.  In 2007, BusinessWeek named him one of the top ten thought leaders in business.

The Pamela Positive: “If It Is Right, It Happens…Nothing Good Gets Away”

Heartfelt advice is such wonderful wealth.   And it’s even more meaningful when it’s in a letter, which someone took the time to write, and shape with their own beautiful language, handwriting and style.

This is one of my favorites, between a father and a son. John Steinbeck wrote to his son about the meaning of love.  I really don’t need to say anything else.

Enjoy this sincere, kind wisdom. I almost feel its warmth emanating from the page…of care, of experience, of hope, of trust.  May we all trust love.

“Love…is an outpouring of everything good in you–of kindness, and consideration and respect–not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable…[This] can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had…And don’t worry about losing.  If it is right, it happens–the main this is not to hurry.  Nothing good gets away.”  — John Steinbeck, to his son Thom

John Steinbeck was a Nobel Prize-winning author, whose most famous works include The Grapes of Wrath, East of Eden, and Of Mice and Men.  Steinbeck’s works often address social issues such as ecology, cultural standards and the condition of laborers.