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The Classic Pamela Positive: The Grass Is Greenest Where You Water It

 

“The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth – i.e. someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.”

– Mitch Temple

Blogger

Let’s be focused on how green we can make our grass!

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Truly wouldn’t that be lovely? If we all focused on what we have — the wonderful family or our friends who are like family; the job, or the opportunity to explore something new; the husband or the opportunity to date and find the right person – what a joy-filled world we would have! And a joyful world starts with each one of our own little worlds.

So this isn’t restricted to simply appreciating your marriage. This is about any relationship or circumstance in life. If you want to be happy, appreciate the parts that are good — and invest in them.

If you want to see something to grow, water it!   Let’s look at some practical ways to do so.

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Love him.  If it’s your husband, love him. Don’t focus on his faults. Well, his clothes might not match. But, he empties the dishwasher.  Let’s water that. 32px-Smiley.svg  Remember, there are millions of women… simply wanting to be married. You have a lifelong committed partner, and that is a very green blessing.

Appreciate your business partner’s strengths. If it’s your business partner, appreciate their vision even if they  miss the details. Or, appreciate their attention to detail, if they are missing part of the vision. Work with who they are, and find some quality of value. Let’s be grateful for the partners we have in life.

Love your roommate. If they don’t take out the garbage, value that they are nice companions to speak with when you get home at night, pay their rent on time, or like to water plants.

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Appreciate your teenager. Maybe they aren’t so talkative right now. But they get B+ and As, are good people, and don’t get in trouble. We definitely want to put the sprinkler on that. 32px-Smiley.svg

Value your co-chair.  Maybe they’re brusque.  But they deliver value and care a lot.  Fertilize and nurture the value they are giving.  Don’t criticize what they don’t have; be grateful for the strengths they bring. Supplement them. If they are stunning roses with thorns, then plant your gentle daisies.  That’s why you are there!

Be Grateful for the Weather as it Keeps the World Going Round. It’s cold.  I know it’s Minnesota, or Hanover.  It can be brutal!  But it’s also beautiful.  Nature and greenery are gorgeous…droughts are not.  In colder climates, strong, tightknit communities are the norm.  Families bond together.  It’s green in the land, and in your heart.

So dear Leaders… Water It… Wherever You Are!


Mitch Temple serves as the director over marriage programs at Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He represents Focus at national events, seminars, media interviews and radio programs.  He has served for 23 years as a pulpit and counseling pastor, specializing in crisis, business and marriage- and family-related issues. He is a published author in various professional journals, and co-author of four marriage books such as The Marriage Turnaround.  His website Mitch Temple Online offers individuals, companies, and churches information on services, articles by Temple, and contributions by many members.  Mitch has been married to Rhonda for 30 years, have 3 grown children and one grand baby.

Bio sources: Focus on the Family and Mitch Temple Online; Quote source: Ten Secrets to a Successful Marriage

The Classic Pamela Positive: The “Big H”: The Unfailing Recipe For Happiness

“Serve others. The unfailing recipe for happiness and success is to want the good of others. Happiness and success is when I see others happy. Happiness is a shared thing.”

―Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Anglican Cleric and Theologian

We search. We search for the “Big H,” happiness, all the time. 

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We try to find our right calling. Our right partner in life. The right home, city, school.  And yet…

Happiness is about sharing. 

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It’s about experiences, time, thoughts and caring for others — which are all spiritual. And I can’t imagine many people expressing their happiest times not in the presence of someone else. 

It’s being with others, and being with them in a meaningful way. 

We also know that it is not necessarily even doing something; it could just be sharing one another’s presence, with each other.


Archbishop Desmond Tutu is a Christian cleric known for his work for human rights. He grew up in Northwest South Africa and he was the only son in his family. He would later attend Johannesburg Bantu High School, where Tutu would thrive in academics and rugby. After high school, he became a teacher where he would meet his wife. Together, they would have two children– Trevor and Thandeka. He would later join the clergy to become an Anglican priest. Active in South Africa, he was an important opponent of apartheid. Other causes he has worked on include fighting AIDs, homophobia, tuberculosis, racism, and poverty. Nelson Mandela described him as “the voice of the voiceless.” Tutu received the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984, the Albert Schweitzer Prize for Humanitarianism in 1986, the Gandhi Peace Prize in 2005, and the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2009.

Bio Source: Wikipedia  Fig¹. Photo by saeed mhmdi on Unsplash  Fig². Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash; Bio Image at Wikimedia

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The Classic Pamela Positive: “Rewards for good service should not be deferred a single day.” – Sun Tzu

“Rewards for good service should not be deferred a single day.”

– Sun Tzu
Chinese General, Military Strategist, Writer and Philosopher

You can see here the rewards for great service.  When we give, we are given back love.  

So don’t delay! Give, give, and give again! Be in Love with Giving. 

How Will You Give Today? Find just one way.

I Believe in the Power of Your Giving,

Pamela Hawley's Signature with an Orange Heart

Statue of Sun Tzu

Sun Tzu (l. c. 500 BCE) was a Chinese military strategist and general best known as the author of the work The Art of War, a treatise on military strategy (also known as The Thirteen Chapters). He was associated (formally or as an inspiration) with The School of the Military, one of the philosophical systems of the Hundred Schools of Thought of the Spring and Autumn Period (c. 772-476 BCE), which advocated military preparedness in maintaining peace and social order.

Sun Tzu’s historicity is uncertain. The Han dynasty historian Sima Qian and other traditional Chinese historians placed him as a minister to King Helü of Wu and dated his lifetime to 544–496 BC. Modern scholars accepting his historicity place the extant text of The Art of War in the later Warring States period based on its style of composition and its descriptions of warfare. Traditional accounts state that the general’s descendant Sun Bin wrote a treatise on military tactics, also titled The Art of War. Since Sun Wu and Sun Bin were referred to as Sun Tzu in classical Chinese texts, some historians believed them identical, prior to the rediscovery of Sun Bin’s treatise in 1972.

Sun Tzu’s work has been praised and employed in East Asian warfare since its composition. During the twentieth century, The Art of War grew in popularity and saw practical use in Western society as well. It continues to influence many competitive endeavours in the world, including culture, politics, business and sports, as well as modern warfare.

Bio Source: Wikipedia and Ancient.com; Image: Fig1. Photo by Anna Earl on Unsplash, Fig2. Photo by Zach Vessels on Unsplash, Fig3. Photo by Suraphat Nuea-on from Pexels, Fig4. Photo by Anna Earl on Unsplash

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Perseverance Can Sometimes Be Very, Very Quiet

Perseverance is important in life. Perseverance can sometimes be very, very quiet… and firm. You have to continue continue continue continue continue continue continue continue continue continue continue continue continue continue continue continue

 Sometimes courage is filled with might, bright, light, and honour-filled.

Sometimes, courage needs to be adamant. 

But, you don’t have to be a bulldog about it.  Persistence means courage, but not biting.  It follow endurance, but not barking.  

Let your perseverance be known. That means you keep on, keep on, in a peaceful, persistent way… never to give up. You will achieve it.  Whatever you are facing today, have the courage to persist.   

I am Persevering Right Along Side of You,

Pamela Hawley's Signature with an Orange Heart

Images: Fig1. Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash, Fig 2. Photo by Andre Furtado on Unsplash, Photo by mauro paillex on Unsplash, Fig 3. Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

The Classic Pamela Positive: How to Get People To Follow You in the Deepest Valleys – Sun Tzu

“Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys; look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death.”

Sun Tzu

Chinese General, Chinese Military Strategist,

Writer and Chinese Philosopher

How important this is.

“Whoever is following you into battle, you should love them as your own.”   

It could be a team at work; a sports team; a political-action group trying to pass a new law or an actual battle.

Love these “soldiers” as your own and their loyalty will be with your forever.

That’s because you have shown your loyalty to them. You will succeed in anything you do! 

Being Loyal is a Beautiful Way to Live, 


Sun Tzu (l. c. 500 BCE) was a Chinese military strategist and general best known as the author of the work The Art of War, a treatise on military strategy (also known as The Thirteen Chapters). He was associated (formally or as an inspiration) with The School of the Military, one of the philosophical systems of the Hundred Schools of Thought of the Spring and Autumn Period (c. 772-476 BCE), which advocated military preparedness in maintaining peace and social order.

Sun Tzu’s historicity is uncertain. The Han dynasty historian Sima Qian and other traditional Chinese historians placed him as a minister to King Helü of Wu and dated his lifetime to 544–496 BC. Modern scholars accepting his historicity place the extant text of The Art of War in the later Warring States period based on its style of composition and its descriptions of warfare. Traditional accounts state that the general’s descendant Sun Bin wrote a treatise on military tactics, also titled The Art of War. Since Sun Wu and Sun Bin were referred to as Sun Tzu in classical Chinese texts, some historians believed them identical, prior to the rediscovery of Sun Bin’s treatise in 1972.

Sun Tzu’s work has been praised and employed in East Asian warfare since its composition. During the twentieth century, The Art of War grew in popularity and saw practical use in Western society as well. It continues to influence many competitive endeavours in the world, including culture, politics, business and sports, as well as modern warfare.

Bio Source: Wikipedia and Ancient.com; Image: Fig1. Photo by Juliane Liebermann on Unsplash, Fig2. Photo by Artem Maltsev on Unsplash, Bio Photo on Wikimedia Commons

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How to Make Decisions – What’s The Right Way?

“Do not repeat the tactics which have gained you one victory, but let your methods be regulated by the infinite variety of circumstances.”

– Sun Tzu

Chinese General, Chinese Military Strategist, 

Writer and Chinese Philosopher

Life isn’t stale.

It’s your job to be listening to all points. That way… you will determine the right way to act. 

Sometimes it is with strength; sometimes with Love. 

Sometimes a different pathway up the hill, or a different conversation.  

Perhaps the solution is a 1-1 situation – or a group of 1000 supporters. 

“Do not repeat the tactics which have gained you one victory, but let your methods be regulated by the infinite variety of circumstances.”

So be open to the “infinite variety of circumstances.” What are they telling you? What resources will you use?  

I can give an example, even in our day-to-day. For example, what if you are frustrated with your boss?  

Are you going to storm his office?

Meditate?

Ignore it and kowtow…. you just stay silent.

Slink away.

State Buddhist verses.  

Tell your mom.

Tell his mom!

Speak reasonably to him.

Send him a kind email because this is the third time.

Speak peacefully to him.  

Ask his manager to be involved.  

Well, that’s a variety of responses, and you can’t do the same one every time. You must listen to what is right at the moment and then…

 “Do not repeat the tactics which have gained you one victory, but let your methods be regulated by the infinite variety of circumstances.”

You can then listen to your mind and heart, and follow the right decision, for that specific instance, that specific time. Then you listen and do it again. 

That’s what Life is made up of, following your heart and addressing each situation, with Listening, with Love.   

I am Listening With You,


Sun Tzu (l. c. 500 BCE) was a Chinese military strategist and general best known as the author of the work The Art of War, a treatise on military strategy (also known as The Thirteen Chapters). He was associated (formally or as an inspiration) with The School of the Military, one of the philosophical systems of the Hundred Schools of Thought of the Spring and Autumn Period (c. 772-476 BCE), which advocated military preparedness in maintaining peace and social order.

Sun Tzu’s historicity is uncertain. The Han dynasty historian Sima Qian and other traditional Chinese historians placed him as a minister to King Helü of Wu and dated his lifetime to 544–496 BC. Modern scholars accepting his historicity place the extant text of The Art of War in the later Warring States period based on its style of composition and its descriptions of warfare. Traditional accounts state that the general’s descendant Sun Bin wrote a treatise on military tactics, also titled The Art of War. Since Sun Wu and Sun Bin were referred to as Sun Tzu in classical Chinese texts, some historians believed them identical, prior to the rediscovery of Sun Bin’s treatise in 1972.

Sun Tzu’s work has been praised and employed in East Asian warfare since its composition. During the twentieth century, The Art of War grew in popularity and saw practical use in Western society as well. It continues to influence many competitive endeavours in the world, including culture, politics, business and sports, as well as modern warfare.

Bio Source: Wikipedia and Ancient.com; Image: Fig1. Photo by Gladson Xavier from Pexels, Fig2. Photo by James Wheeler from Pexels, Fig3. Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels, Fig4. Photo by Jack Moreh from Freerange, Bio Photo on Wikimedia Commons

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