The Classic Pamela Positive: The Grass Is Greenest Where You Water It

 

“The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth – i.e. someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.”

– Mitch Temple

Blogger

Let’s be focused on how green we can make our grass!

Truly wouldn’t that be lovely? If we all focused on what we have — the wonderful family or our friends who are like family; the job, or the opportunity to explore something new; the husband or the opportunity to date and find the right person – what a joy-filled world we would have! And a joyful world starts with each one of our own little worlds.

So this isn’t restricted to simply appreciating your marriage. This is about any relationship or circumstance in life. If you want to be happy, appreciate the parts that are good — and invest in them.

If you want to see something to grow, water it!   Let’s look at some practical ways to do so.

Love him.  If it’s your husband, love him. Don’t focus on his faults. Well, his clothes might not match. But, he empties the dishwasher.  Let’s water that.   Remember, there are millions of women… simply wanting to be married. You have a lifelong committed partner, and that is a very green blessing.

Appreciate your business partner’s strengths. If it’s your business partner, appreciate their vision even if they  miss the details. Or, appreciate their attention to detail, if they are missing part of the vision. Work with who they are, and find some quality of value. Let’s be grateful for the partners we have in life.

Love your roommate. If they don’t take out the garbage, value that they are nice companions to speak with when you get home at night, pay their rent on time, or like to water plants.

Appreciate your teenager. Maybe they aren’t so talkative right now. But they get B+ and As, are good people, and don’t get in trouble. We definitely want to put the sprinkler on that. 

Value your co-chair.  Maybe they’re brusque.  But they deliver value and care a lot.  Fertilize and nurture the value they are giving.  Don’t criticize what they don’t have; be grateful for the strengths they bring. Supplement them. If they are stunning roses with thorns, then plant your gentle daisies.  That’s why you are there!

Be Grateful for the Weather as it Keeps the World Going Round. It’s cold.  I know it’s Minnesota, or Hanover.  It can be brutal!  But it’s also beautiful.  Nature and greenery are gorgeous…droughts are not.  In colder climates, strong, tightknit communities are the norm.  Families bond together.  It’s green in the land, and in your heart.

So dear Leaders… Water It… Wherever You Are!

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Mitch Temple serves as the director over marriage programs at Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He represents Focus at national events, seminars, media interviews and radio programs.  He has served for 23 years as a pulpit and counseling pastor, specializing in crisis, business and marriage- and family-related issues. He is a published author in various professional journals, and co-author of four marriage books such as The Marriage Turnaround.  His website Mitch Temple Online offers individuals, companies, and churches information on services, articles by Temple, and contributions by many members.  Mitch has been married to Rhonda for 30 years, have 3 grown children and one grand baby.

Bio sources: Focus on the Family and Mitch Temple Online; Quote source: Ten Secrets to a Successful Marriage

The Classic Pamela Positive: See The Latest On How Are We Connect

In an interesting book called Lessons for the 21^st Century, Yuval Noah Harari reminds us that as human beings we are always connected.

What is so profound is his discovery of the connections that have happened in our past.

Community was in the form of groups, religion, churches, community leagues, philosophies, salons, discussions and in-person gatherings. As someone who loves volunteering, I love community. Community means spending time together.

Yet a shift is happening. Machine-learning and AI are starting to assume the wisdom of how we should group. The wisdom of how we should communicate and the wisdom of our actions. “Group data” is dictating how our communities should act, how we should act, and what we are going to do.

I love community — and I also love technology. I believe it can be used for good. Many companies can use AI and these behavioral predictions to help people in health, business predictions, and operations, reducing costs. This kind of AI is all good.

But how discomforting that AI transcends into our personal sphere. Now, more than ever, many of us long for a true, heartfelt connection. Long for caring about the world, long for caring about each other. And machine learning is supposed to be our glue? Machine learning is going to tell us how are going to connect and when and how?

I’m not sure we want to be categorized by group behaviors, by computer algorithms that say when we should talk, when we need to meet, or predict how we’re going to behave.

However, this may well help companies and their sales teams. It will help companies create and deliver products that may appeal to us. But the line has to stop when it starts to dictate how we act, feel, or how we will act or feel.

There’s a part of life that shouldn’t be categorized. There’s a part of human connection that should be considered priceless, unquantifiable. There is a part of us that all long for the literary salon,

the community group with a potluck,

the book club where we are all nurturing and listening to each other

and the warm church or synagogue or temple gathering.

We’re not asking to be quantified.

Let’s go find and nurture community the old-fashioned, connected way. It will create deep relationships and help us be our best. We can be grateful for advancement in technology, but keep community personal. If we listen to our hearts, we will know when we need to meet, with whom and where. We must be sure to

listen to our hearts.

Let’s Go Out And Find Some Community,

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Yuval Noah Harari was born in Kiryat Ata, Israel, in 1976 and grew up in a secular Jewish family with Lebanese and Eastern European roots in Haifa, Israel. Harari is gay and in 2002 met his husband Itzik Yahav, whom he calls “my internet of all things”. Yahav is also Harari’s personal manager. They married in a civil ceremony in Toronto in Canada. The couple lives in a moshav (a type of cooperative agricultural community of individual farms), Mesilat Zion, near Jerusalem.

Harari received his Ph.D. from the University of Oxford in 2002, and is currently a lecturer at the Department of History, the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. Harari originally specialized in world history, medieval history and military history. His current research focuses on macro-historical questions. As of the end of 2018, his books have sold 19 million copies worldwide.

Harari lectures around the world on the topics explored in his books and articles, and has written for publications such as The Guardian, Financial Times, The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Economist and Nature magazine. He also offers his knowledge and time to various organizations and audiences on a voluntary basis.

Biosource: Yuval Noah Harari Official Website, Wikipedia; Images: Fig. 1: Photo by Rawpixel on Unsplash, Fig. 2:  Photo by Robert Bye on Unsplash, Fig. 3: Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash, Fig. 4: Photo by Alexis Brown on Unsplash, Fig. 5: Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash, Fig. 6: Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash, Fig. 7: Photo by Gabriel Garcia Marengo on Unsplash, Fig. 8: Photo by Nicole Honeywill on Unsplash, Fig. 9: Photo by Josh Applegate on Unsplash.

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The Classic Pamela Positive: Start By Listening

“My goal is to extract a design that emerges from the essence of the music rather than to decorate its story…   This process usually takes two to three months of immersing myself in the opera by listening to it 200 to 300 times.”

– Jun Kaneko

Ceramic Artist 

Master designer Jun Kaneko provides the design for the San Francisco Opera’s production of The Magic Flute…and what a powerful way he envisages how to create this vision for us all. It’s synergistic, based on pulling all elements together and starting with one of the most important qualities… listening.

No matter your profession, you can be a good listener today. You might listen to the preschool kids you manage. You might listen to your elderly dog that would like a nice tummy rub. You might listen to your neighbor who asked you to trim the tree so it doesn’t hang over his property. Or you might create an amazing work of art such as Jun Kaneko through The Magic Flute. While his work seems supra-important, every person’s effort to listen is just as important. 

If we listened and did this for hours like Jun, everyone would be happy. Relationships with people would be lovely.

The World Can Be Lovely If We Will Just Listen,

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Jun Kaneko is a Japanese-American visual artist, with sculptures and other artwork in more than 50 museums. He has previously worked on opera productions for Madama Butterfly and Fidelio. His works in clay explore the effects of repeated abstract surface motifs. He was the Production Designer for the San Francisco Opera’s production of The Magic Flute, which opened in June 2012.

Kaneko is married to sculptor Ree Kaneko who is also an American artist, arts administrator, and art consultant from Omaha, Nebraska. The couple first met when Ree attended a workshop on Ceramic Sculpture with Tony Hepburn, held June 8–14, 1981, at the Omaha Brickworks. They have two daughters, Susan Schonlau and Troia Schonlau, from a prior marriage. Both daughters work at the Kankeo Studio

Bio Source: Wikipedia  Fig¹. Photo by Scott Drickey on ipa  Fig². Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash  Fig³. Photo by  Juri Gianfrancesco on Unsplash

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The Classic Pamela Positive: Why Do We Live Apart from the Family We Love?

What We Can Learn from Asia

I am one of those fortunate people who will not need to board a flight this holiday. My family is local: My parents live 45 minutes away on the Peninsula, and my sister, brother-in-law and nephews and niece live about 1 mile from my parents.

That’s truly been a joy for me, the simple presence of family.   Being able to babysit last-minute; experiencing the chaos of taking care of kids during ‘meltdown time’ at 5 pm with a 6, 4 and 1 year old when they were growing up; celebrating their progress on their soccer field; scootering with them to ice cream on a warm summer night, after dinner.

Why do we allow ourselves to live apart? Why is it so accepted?

I know I am fortunate.  Sometimes people have to move because of marriage. A new job. Taking care of an elderly parent.  All very legitimate reasons which contribute to family, and yet, also separate…

In a Gallup Poll, 16% of the world said they would like to move to another country.  This comes from both dire situations (such as Somalia) to the desire for luxury or adventure.  But in one region the rates are lower than Europe and America: Asia.  Due to progress in political freedoms and enhanced economic opportunities, many Asians are staying put: Only 10% desire to move.   But there’s another factor as well: Close family ties, and a cultural commitment to taking care of family, keeps the desire to move low.

Let’s learn, if we are so fortunate, from this cultural and familial commitment to keep family close…

Bio Source: Image: Fig1 Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash; Fig 2 photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash;

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The Classic Pamela Positive: Don’t Accept What the World Is Presenting to You

We’re not going to be defeated. We are not going to be down. We are not going to be swayed into disagreements. We are going to focus on unity. We are going to focus on love.

We are not to going to get into a negative mindset. We are not going to follow the crowd of negativity. We are going to believe, we are going to love, we are going to give even if it hurts, even if it’s hard, even if we’re going against the pattern of the current tide.

Thank you for helping me and all of us — focus on a great sense of unity and love for the entire world. We can do it together, hand in hand.

We are not going to accept the negative train of thought, we’re going to focus on positivity.

I will not be swayed by negative politics, I will use politics for a positive voice.

I will not by swayed by sexual harassment, I will keep my life and my mind pure. I will not be swayed by selfish business dealings, I will do business for the good of the world.

I will not be swayed by evil, I will make ethical choices at all points. I will not be saddened by divorce, I will be loving to everyone I meet.

Do not accept what the world is telling, love instead.

Choose Love,

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Fig¹.  Photo by Josh Willink on Pexels  Fig².  Photo by Mike Scheid on Unsplash  Fig³.  Photo by Juliana Kozoski on Unsplash

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Classic Pamela Positive: Two Golds Teach a Life Lesson

In our recent Olympics, we faced a peculiar situation.

Gianmarco Tamberi and Mutaz Barshim reached the same result in the high jump. 

So what could they do? 

The Italian and the Qatari had a choice. They could have “jumped off” and competed in a final round against each other to have one, final winner. 

Yet as Barshim evaluated the situation, he asked the referee if they could both get a gold.   What a great option!  

The leading official said that was within the rules. Barshim was for it and Tamberi, too.

“This is beyond sport,” Barshim said. “This is the message we deliver to the young generation.”

Also keep in mind — these are two good friends. They have warmed up together and wished each other well. Now they can also celebrate a mutual gold together.

The friendship started long before Gianmarco experienced a tough injury and built his way back up in the sport. They were both in Paris for the Diamond League, featuring elite track competitions, and including countries from all over the world.  Yet Gianmarco couldn’t make his original height. He was devastated and demoralized. 

But he was not left alone. Barshim stormed after the depressed Gianmarco, and encouraged him to be the world champion that he was: 

Gianmarco said in the interview with Spikes magazine “Mutaz started knocking on my room and he wouldn’t go away. First I just wanted him to leave. He persisted and was shouting: Gimbo. Gimbo, please I want to talk to you. So I gave in and let him in. We talked. I cried in front of him. He tried to calm me down, and told me what he had to say: 

“Don’t try to rush it,” he kept telling me. “You had a big injury, you’re already back in the Diamond League. No one expected that. But now you need to take your time, don’t expect too much too early from yourself. Just see what happens.”

And Gianmarco did. He came back, he got his courage, and now he has a gold! He shares gold with his dear friend Mutaz. 

What a beautiful story! 

Can you build someone up with love? Can you care about their success as much as your own? Can you split being a winner with someone else? 

You don’t have to be the only one who wins. Share your winnings with someone else. 

Celebrate that goodness – which is better than gold.

Both of You Can Win Gold, 

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Background on Gianmarco Tamberi

Gianmarco Tamberi was born on June 1, 1992 in Civitanova Marche, Italy.

He is a professional high jumper who is known for competing with the clubs Bruni Vomano and G.S. Fiamme Gialle. He is also known for representing Italy in several national competitions and won the championships eight times including the European Indoor Championships in Glasgow in 2019 and the World Indoor Championships in Portland in 2016.

Gianmarco started gaining attention in 2011 when he competed in the European Junior Championships in Tallinn earning the Bronze medal in the High Jump category.

Background on Mutaz Essa Barshim

Mutaz Essa Barshim was born June 24, 1991. He is a Qatari track and field athlete who competes in the high jump and is the current Olympic Champion (2020). 

He is also the current World Champion and second best jumper of all-time with a personal best of 2.43. He won gold at the 2017 World Championships in London and at the 2019 World Championships in Doha. 

At the Olympics, Barshim won bronze at the London 2012 Summer Olympics, silver at the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio and gold at the 2020 Summer Olympics Tokyo. He was the Asian Indoor and World Junior champion in 2010, and won the high jump gold medals at the 2011 Asian Athletics Championships and 2011 Military World Games. 

He holds the Asian record in high jump.

Attribution:

Fig1. by Andrew McClanahan/Photo Run, 2021, Fig2. by Pixabay, 2016, Fig 3. by Richard Heathcote/Getty Images, 2021, Fig4. by RODNAE Productions, 2021. Fig5. by Filip Bossuyt, 740 tamberi, Fig6. by Wikipedia

1. “Gianmarco Tamberi Biography” https://infofamouspeople.com/famous/gianmarco-tamberi.htm

2. Wikipedia® “Mutaz Essa Barshim” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutaz_Essa_Barshim3. Gianmarco Tamberi, “My Friend Mutaz,” Spikes, 12 Jan. 2018, https://spikes.worldathletics.org/post/gianmarco-tamberi-my-friend-mutaz

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