Tag Archives: family

The Classic Pamela Positive: “When You’re At The Table, You’re Open And Your Defenses Are Down”

 

“People want that gathering together. The table is magical. When you’re at the table, you’re open and your defenses are down.”

―Lidia Bastianich

 

Mealtimes seem to be a time of the past. We eat in our cars and desks or even holding a power bar walking out the door…

 

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Yet, Lidia points out how we can find deep caring and nourishment at the table. It’s not just sharing food, but also sharing of our hearts and feelings.

It’s a time to be a sounding board and to have sounding boards…from people who truly care about you. It’s a time to relax, and yet also profound as some of the most important issues in your life may come out in a casual way.

 

Two Women And One Man Eating

 

Don’t miss this time with your loved ones. “The table is magical.”  Or I might add  “The people at the table are magical.”

You’re Magical,

Pamela


Lidia Matticchio Bastianich (born on February 21, 1947, in Pula, Croatia–then a part of Italy), is an American chef, television host, author, and restaurateur. Specializing in Italian and Italian-American cuisine, Lidia has been a regular contributor to public television cooking show lineups since 1998. In 2011, she launched her fourth TV series Lidia’s Italy in America. She also owns several Italian restaurants in the U.S. in partnership with her daughter Tanya Bastianich Manuali and her son, Joe Bastianich, including Felidia (founded with her ex-husband, Felice), Del Posto, Esca, and Becco in Manhattan; Lidia’s Pittsburgh in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; and Lidia’s Kansas City in Kansas City, Missouri.

Bio Source: Wikipedia  Fig¹. Photo by The Creative Exchange on Unsplash  FIg². Photo by mentatdgt on Pexels

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Ignorance Of Certain Subjects Is A Great Part Of Wisdom.” -Hugo De Groot

 

“Ignorance of certain subjects is a great part of wisdom.”

–Hugo de Groot

 

Ignorance is Good.

Ignorance of gossip. Ignorance of unnecessary negative thoughts. Ignorance of self-doubting thoughts, and ignorance of unhelpful suggestions which come to our thought. A lot of these thoughts are just not true…. and don’t find yourself accepting them as part of your normal experience.

 

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We all go through a tough day. Yet we need to defend our thoughts, and therefore our life. Our life is based upon our thought. What you think will come through to fruition… It does not mean we ignore life lessons, a candid talk with ourselves; and at times, gently with others; it does not mean everything is perfect.

 

Photography of Women Talking to Each Other

 

But in general, we pursue being, doing and recognizing good. 

 


Hugo de Groot (1583-1645), also called Hugo Grotius, was a philosopher and a theologian, and worked as a jurist in the Dutch Republic. He was extremely influential in the creation of international law. He wrote a number of books, including On the Law of War and Peace, addressing subjects such as just wars and rules to govern conflict. His overall purpose was to urge restraint in rushing to war, and to urge reasonable conduct once war was engaged. In 1608 he married Maria van Reigersberch, with whom he would have eight children (four surviving beyond youth) and who would be invaluable in helping him and the family to weather the storm to come.

Bio Source: Wikipedia  Fig¹.  Photo by Oleg Magni on Pexels  Fig².  Photo by Christina Morillo on Unsplash

The Classic Pamela Positive: Sit Down At The Table

 

“…they’ve done studies on children who are required to sit down at the family table and those who are not.  And the ones who are score higher academically; they’re more well adjusted.”

― Paula Deen

 

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Sit down, be present, share. It’s not just about community, about family… but also about being the best we can be. Sitting down at the table with your loved ones for a mealtime shares love, and, helps you reach your goals!

Paula Deen did just that… she made ‘sitting down’ at the table with loved ones a life calling.  She does that fulltime, preparing lovely meals, and allowing us to enjoy and make them as well.

 

Sharing Cherry Tomatoes

 

So take some time to sit with your family, friends, or loved ones.. be supported…be nourished.. and be your best self. Thank you to Paula Deen who lives it daily.

Sitting With My Family,

Pamela


Paula Deen was born Paula Hiers in Albany, Georgia, the daughter of Corrie A. (née Paul) and Earl Wayne Hiers, Sr. Her parents died before she was 23, and an early marriage ended in divorce. In her 20s, Deen suffered from panic attacks and agoraphobia. She then focused on cooking for her family as something she could do without leaving her house.

Her grandmother Irene Paul had taught her the hand-me-down art of Southern cooking; one of the only places she felt safe was at her own stove, making thousands of pots of chicken and dumplings.  She later moved to Savannah, Georgia, with her sons.  Paula had many different jobs and roles, learning what she loved to do.  She tried hanging wallpaper, working as a bank teller, selling real estate and insurance. She then started a catering service,  making sandwiches and meals, which her sons Jamie and Bobby delivered. She then found her calling.

BioSource: Wikipedia  Fig¹. Pablo Merchán Montes on Unsplash  Fig². Photo by fauxels on Pexels

The Classic Pamela Positive: To Have A Positive Mindset: Think About Building Your Mind As You Would Your Dream Home

 

When you build a home, you have to have a vision. A vision of what you would like to create. If you have a negative vision of your home then it certainly is not going to become a beautiful home! So we need to maintain that vision, even when the going gets rough. Even if you run out of brick. Even if the paint color didn’t match the way you wanted it to. Even if you have to fumigate!

Hold the vision, and keep striving for it.

 

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So what has helped me during tough times is not just to focus on the positive, but on gratitude. Even in tough times there is something to be grateful for. If you are having a hard time in sales and partnerships, perhaps you can be grateful you uplifted that potential client’s day with a positive smile or sincere compliment…

On an entirely different level… if a natural disaster has occurred, you can still be grateful that the sun came out, as in many countries pollution blocks the sun. That a friend is near. That people are caring and helping.

 

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Even in a crisis, and often especially in a crisis, the greatest goodness of people comes out. We can find the good even when we don’t seem ‘to have or own much.’ True wealth comes from qualities of being loving, kind, sincere, genuine, giving. And how wonderful — that that wealth is available to each one of us, every moment.

 


Fig¹. Photo by Pixabay on Pexels  Fig². Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

The Classic Pamela Positive: Give Your Mom a Smile

 

I am very fortunate to have the most wonderful mother.

She is a devoted wife, a loving mother, a supreme grandmother, and beloved by all.

Mom and I often have our “catch-up time” on the family room couch, just to talk about life. We sit with our sweet labrador dog (at that time sleepy-sweet and ready to go to bed).

 

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It’s one of my favorite things to simply listen to and share with my mom. Often we go over positives, a funny incident, or something that needs praying.

My mom is incredibly understanding. She has a loving heart, a listening heart. Ever-present for her children and her family, it’s her number one call in life. And that’s despite being an amazing, successful musician. She has it all — but in a balanced way. I find it a model for myself and how I would like to live.

So I’ve got something I am working on that I can give to my mom. I’d like to Give My Mom a Smile.

 

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When people are very understanding we have a tendency to open up to them…they are compassionate, present and listening. Which means it’s an easy thing to do!

Families are beautiful in how they give to each other. They cheer you on and help you when you are down. There’s nothing wrong with that, as family should be there for us as we are for them. Still, I’d like to be thoughtful about sharing the challenges. 

Here’s the reason why. My mother has done so much for me, and I want to give her that gift back. And one of the best ways to do that, is to give her joy.

 

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Your mother loves you and wants the best for you. Moms are ready to help their children with anything they need and that includes a listening ear. But they also want you to be happy.

And they are happy when you are happy.

 

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So what can you do to increase your mom’s happiness?

The next time you have a challenge, could you approach it a different way? Why not find another source?

Could you…

…quiet your mind

…go to a movie

…get a massage

…take a nap

…reason through the positives

…pray

…meditate?

What could you do to rest your heart and come back to

Give Your Mom A Smile?

Our mothers have done so much for us. One way we can do something for them is to show them we are happy. Let’s work on this today, Give Your Mother A Smile.


Fig¹. Photo by Mitchell Griest on Unsplash  Fig². Photo by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash  Fig³. Photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash  Fig⁴. Photo by Thiago Cerqueira on Unsplash

The Classic Pamela Positive: Give a Gift Every Day

 

Give a gift every day.

Send your friend’s birthday gift early.

See a gift that would be meaningful for someone you care about, and just buy it. Give it to them now.

Take the time to cook a meal for your partner or your roommate. Take the time to cook a meal for yourself.

Smile at a person walking down the street.

Smile at a homeless person and stop and learn their name. There is the gift of knowing someone. Of acknowledging you care.

Be kind to yourself.

 

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Get in bed early.

Say three gratefuls before you fall asleep.

Say three gratefuls when you wake up.

Believe today is special.

Take time at lunch to be grateful for three more things.

Pay the phone bill for your roommate.

Drop off banana bread for your neighbor.

Give a lot. Expect little.

Smile at yourself in the mirror.

Work hard and attain the gift of devotion to something you believe in.

Work and leave early and give yourself a gentle night off, nurturing yourself.

Stop and look at nature. Any part of nature. The expanse of the sky; drifting clouds; a vibrant flower.

Give yourself the gift of awareness of how precious and beautiful life is every day.


Fig¹.  Photo by Rob Laughter on Unsplash

The Classic Pamela Positive: Celebrate True Wealth

 

Wealth is a state of mind and life. We tend to associate poverty with money. But poverty can be mental, emotional or Spiritual Poverty. I am often struck by this in my travel and volunteering in developing nations. Often, the divorce rates are low. Families not only stay together, but also spend time together. They gather food from the fields together, cook together and share meals together.

 

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Contrast us: 15 minute family dinners if we are lucky. Fast-food and food distanced from its natural base. We eat alone; we eat in our cars. Divorces are easier to get, and in our mind it can be easier to allow those thoughts in as a possibility, rather than work through critical issues. So we lose the connection to family. We lose the connection to the local farm. We can lose the connection to long-term commitment.

 

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We lose our greatest asset in natural wealth: relationships. Relationships with ourselves, our families, the earth. This wealth creates happy, balanced, productive, lower stress lifestyles, because we are connected in the way we are meant to be.

Further, we often pass by our heritage and where we come from. In many emerging nations, and especially in the continent of Africa, we see tribes value their connection to their heritage as primary importance even above their nationality. There is a deep-rooted connection to rituals and history which keeps people grounded in who they are, and the deeper, long-term meaning of being a part of a larger community in their lives.

 

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Poverty is about money, at times. It has to be addressed as people should have the opportunity to live productive lives and make choices about what they would like to devote their lives to. Poverty is also about our well-being. Often when we get beyond “money poverty,” we forget “well-being poverty,” and get trapped in a go-go-go consumer culture.

 

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I hope we can celebrate the healthy wealth that is accessible to us all in positive, committed relationships with ourselves, one another, our families, our earth, our communities and our heritage. How wonderful this is available to us all.


Fig. 1: Photo by Lee Myungseon on Unsplash  Fig. 2: Photo by Sai De Silva on Usnplash
Fig. 3: Photo by Ramdan Authentic on Unsplash  Fig. 4: Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash