Tag Archives: relationships

The Classic Pamela Positive: Promise Yourself – To talk health… (Part 2 of 10)

fitness-332278_640Promise Yourself, by Christian D. Larson

Promise Yourself is a beautiful list of 10 Positives we should “Promise Ourselves.”   The piece allows us to embrace life fully by expecting the best and clearing away anything that might hold us back.    It’s healthy for our minds and hearts.

Here’s your second one, below. I hope you will practice it with me today!  Please let me know your thoughts and how it affects your day, your life, and the people around you.

Promise yourself

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

 

Christian D. Larson (1874 – 1962) was a New Thought leader and teacher, as well as a prolific author of metaphysical and New Thought books. He is credited by Horatio Dresser as being a founder in the New Thought movement.  Many of Larson’s books remain in print today, nearly 100 years after they were first published, and his writings influenced notable New Thought authors and leaders, including Religious Science founder, Ernest Holmes.

Larson, of Norwegian origin, was born in Iowa and attended Iowa State College and a Unitarian theological school in Meadville, PA.  While little is known about his personal life and what led to his studies in mental science, what is known is its logical teachings appealed to Larson’s analytical mind and led him to discover that combining theology and science could provide a practical and systematic philosophy of life.  During his time he was honorary president of the International New Thought Alliance and lectured extensively during the 1920s and 1930s. He was a colleague of such notables as William Walker Atkinson, Charles Brodie Patterson, and Home of Truth founder Annie Rix Militz. He developed the Optimist Creed in use today by Optimist International, better known as the Optimist Clubs.

Bio Source: Wikipedia and Christian D. Larson Home Page

 

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The Classic Pamela Positive: Promise Yourself – To be so strong… (Part 1 of 10)

peaceful-442070_640Promise Yourself, by Christian D. Larson

“Promise Yourself” is a beautiful list of 10 Positives we should “Promise Ourselves.”   The piece allows us to embrace life fully by expecting the best and clearing away anything that might hold us back.    It’s healthy for our minds and hearts.

Here’s your first one, below. I hope you will practice it with me today!  Please let me know your thoughts and how it affects your day, your life, and the people around you.

Promise yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

 

Christian D. Larson (1874 – 1962) was a New Thought leader and teacher, as well as a prolific author of metaphysical and New Thought books. He is credited by Horatio Dresser as being a founder in the New Thought movement.  Many of Larson’s books remain in print today, nearly 100 years after they were first published, and his writings influenced notable New Thought authors and leaders, including Religious Science founder, Ernest Holmes.

Larson, of Norwegian origin, was born in Iowa and attended Iowa State College and a Unitarian theological school in Meadville, PA.  While little is known about his personal life and what led to his studies in mental science, what is known is its logical teachings appealed to Larson’s analytical mind and led him to discover that combining theology and science could provide a practical and systematic philosophy of life.  During his time he was honorary president of the International New Thought Alliance and lectured extensively during the 1920s and 1930s. He was a colleague of such notables as William Walker Atkinson, Charles Brodie Patterson, and Home of Truth founder Annie Rix Militz. He developed the Optimist Creed in use today by Optimist International, better known as the Optimist Clubs.

Bio Source: Wikipedia and Christian D. Larson Home Page

 

The Classic Pamela Positive: Philanthropy at the Dry Cleaners

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Get inspired by an audio version of this blog!

I’ve shared before about philanthropy as “the love of people,” as a daily practice.

One day I had a pivotal experience that helped me be a better ‘daily philanthropist.’  Each day, I make a ‘to do’ list. The list might range from contacting a corporate client, to running an errand at the dry cleaners. Checking off these items certainly gave me a nice sense of satisfaction!

During this day, I found myself particularly busy. I rushed into the dry cleaners. I swooped in to pick up my clothes and left a bundle of clothes on the counter. “There!” I told myself triumphantly. “I fit in the dry cleaners before a meeting. I have gotten one more item off my list!” Accomplishment, I thought; and yet I didn’t feel it.

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What I realized is that the dry cleaners wasn’t an errand.

No, it was not a ‘to-do.’

It was an opportunity to love.

Life is not about lists. We aren’t programmed to just get things done. Instead, each activity, each to-do, each task, is actually an experience of loving. This is especially true because each experience usually means interacting with someone else. And when we do this in a calm, present, joyful way, that’s living. And it’s also the true spirit of philanthropy. Loving and being present with others, with mankind.

As one great thinker wrote, a person “… is a marvel, a miracle in the universe… With selfless love, he inscribes on the heart of humanity and transcribes on the page of reality the living, palpable presence – the might and majesty! – of all goodness. He lives for all mankind.”*

Rushing in and out of the dry cleaners, I had missed a valuable opportunity. What I needed to do was connect with my dry cleaners, know them by name, greet them warmly, and sincerely ask how they are doing. Now I know how Hao is doing, and we have a great relationship of warmth and kindness.  I look forward to our visits.

Writing a check is only one type of philanthropy. I’ve found that it exists at the dry cleaners, and pretty much anywhere we want.  Where does it exist for you?

*Mary Baker Eddy

The Classic Pamela Positive: The Most Positive Things You Can Say

all_there_is

Here are the top things you can say to make a relationship work, from All There Is:

You look great.

Can I help?

Let’s eat out.

I was wrong.

I am sorry.

I love you.

 —✶—

Say Something Positive Today!!

All There Is by Dave Isay grew from the StoryCorps initiative, a project to record the oral histories of individuals.  StoryCorps has collected stories from more than 75,000 people, in an attempt to record the history of people who rarely appear in history books.  In 2010, Isay published another book from StoryCorps stories, Mom: A Celebration of Mothers from StoryCorps.  All There Is celebrates love, with heartwarming stories from real couples.  Leroy A. Morgan contributed the list quoted above.

Would You Say No To a Text? (Third in a Series of Three)

This is part 3 of a 3 part series that talks about finding and developing relationships you care about when social media can make it confusing to determine which are real. 
As you saw in my first part of this series, being present at lunch can make all the difference. (Read before about my lunch with Steve Mitchell from Ernst and Young, and the gift making each moment about people, relationships and being present. And in the second in our Series, we spoke of “Saying No to Social Media”.
So here’s where we are getting to the crux of what relationships mean in our day-to-day.   I am mentoring a few university students on their projects. Often times, the calls veer into day-to-day questions about values, and what is important in life. These conversations are very sincere, caring as students share their deepest thoughts.
I received this call the other evening from a very smart, engaged engineer who wants to make a difference in clean energy.
“I’m feeling really concerned. It feels off,” he said.
“What’s going on,” I respond.
“I was just realizing I am walking around campus and I know 100 people.  They know me. We say hi and we are friendly and it’s like I know all these people.”
“But I don’t,” he continued.  “At the end of the day, who of these people has my back…?”
 
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He was really worried.
It’s actually a good marker he was worried. For what he was driving at was that he desired substance.  That true connection, that life is about people, relationships and being present. And he didn’t necessarily feel that.  Who would have his back, or, be there for him?
 
Conversations like these show a natural backlash to our texting and social media norms.  They confront what being connected, feeling loved and feeling safe means.  So we have to work on having relationships in our lives that really make a difference. 
 
“Deepak,* you’re having the right thoughts. You’re valuing people and you’re seeking greater connections.  But the question I would ask is not “who has your back,” but “whose back do you have?  Who do you really care about, and of those 100 people, who do you really want a long-term, positive relationship of care and true sharing?”
 
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When we ask how we can care about someone else, we start taking practical steps to connect with them.  We will listen, help them grow and cheer them on.   Now you “have their back,” although I would say you’re seeking a way to connect mind and hearts. We’re not just trying to protect ourselves or others. We are seeking enriching, loving relationships.  
 
This led Deepak to start thinking about who he wanted a deeper relationship with. Maybe that was more lunches, study times, or shared activities with a few people.  It brought relief to his mind. He had a plan on how to care more deeply about others, and how they in turn would do the same.
 
In this digital world, we get caught up in texting, social media, and simply “waving to 100 people” who we might not really know.  For a true connection in life it’s about people, relationships and being present. How will you connect and care for someone today, offline? Please share!
*name was changed for confidential reasons

Would You Say No To a Text? (Second of a series of three)

This is part 2 of a 3 part series that talks about the influence of social media on how present people are in their daily lives. 
As you saw in my first part of this series, being present at lunch can make all the difference. (Read before about my lunch with Steve Mitchell from Ernst and Young, and the gift making each moment about people, relationships and being present.)
But saying no to text isn’t the only area of which we need to be aware, and even say no to.
92% of American teenagers (ages 13-17) are online every day. In fact, almost a quarter say they are on some type of platform constantly. According to the 2015 report by Pew Research Center, there was one TV show where parents “tested” taking away their teens cellphones for 24 hours. In some cases, there were shrieks, cries and anguish of the teens begging for their phones back. They were overly connected to their phones.
Christine Rosen wrote in the Wall Street Journal:
“A typical teen, according to Pew, has 145 Facebook friends and 150 Instagram followers.  Based on survey data from our lab as well as national statistics, I would estimate that only between 5% and 15% of teens abstain from social-media use.”
But the social media tides maybe changing.  I know some people on my team who don’t do social media, or aren’t that involved. One of my great marketers was 26 and considered “YGen” — and was not on any social media. She simply told me she didn’t have time, and wasn’t interested.
Christine Rosen quotes a woman:
 “I feel like a lot of what happens on Instagram isn’t valuable communication,” said Katherine Silk, 18, who grew up in Los Angeles and is about to start a gap year before heading to Emory University. “I’ll be with friends eating, and they’ll say, ‘ Let’s post this on Instagram!’ Sometimes I feel like saying, ‘you should be talking to me and the other people here, not posting things for people who may or may not care, just so you can get more likes.”
As for the possibility that they are missing out, the social-media abstainers are sanguine. “If I have something important to tell my friends, I’ll call them. That’s enough,”  says Ms. Silk.”
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Just as it’s important to be present with your colleague at lunch, being truly connected is not just online. It’s spending your time in a way that is present with others, not just FOMO.  If you are crying for your phone, maybe it’s time to set up in an in-person with your friend, or friends together. We have a need to connect. Social media isn’t the only filler to that need.
          Connecting is all about people, relationships and being present.  
 
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Would you ‘Say No to Text?” Say No to Social Media?  Tell me what you think.  
 
Christine Rosen is a writer for The Wall Street Journal. Read her article here.

Would You Say No To a Text? (First Series of Three)

This is part 1 of a 3 part series that talks about the importance of being present in conversations even with the distractions that technology can bring like texting and phone calls. 
I was just at lunch today at One Market in San Francisco, with dear colleague Steve Mitchell.  He’s been a leader in new business development at Ernst and Young. Yet for him, it’s not just about new business. It’s about people, relationships, and being present.
 
One of the great things I treasure these days is the quality of relationships with people.  More people are desiring this, too. As Steve and I were at lunch, my phone rang with an important call from my Director of Operations.
I didn’t pick up.
“Don’t you need to get that?”  Steve asked.
I responded that being present with him was my priority.  And after our lunch, my Director of Operations would then be my priority. I believe everyone is important, yet at different times.  
Being at an invited lunch with Steve was my priority.   The only reason I had my phone out, was to take notes from my time with Steve. We were having a great conversation!
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Notes, yes.
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Phone calls, no.
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Texts, no.
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***************
In this day and age we truly must be present. It shows the deepest sense of respect. It’s about true eye connection and deep listening.  In this digital age, it’s probably the most respectful thing we can do, to let another person know we care.
You aren’t shifting around in your seat.
You aren’t picking up your phone for every text.
You aren’t taking the call, or saying “it will just take a minute.”
Because at the end of the day it doesn’t just take a minute. We all know that…. It takes much longer! Then you have taken away not only your time with the person, but also part of the respect, honor in the relationship. Your partner, your colleague, your table mate is waiting for you.
Steve noted this, remarking that few people understand the importance of respecting the other person; how it is the right thing to do. It also builds amazing long-term relationships. Steve and I plan on collaborating in so many areas, and helping each other, that our lunch lasted two hours. We’re excited to work together and help the world in new ways!
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The next time you get a text or a call at lunch, think twice. Will you Say No To Text?
The text might be important. So is the person in front of you. Make each moment about people, relationships and being present.