Tag Archives: relationships

The Classic Pamela Positive: Do It Anyway

 

Do It Anyway

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.

 

 

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What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

 


 

This poem is widely attributed to Mother Teresa, after it was found hanging on a wall in her home for children in Calcutta.  It is a revised version of “The Paradoxical Commandments,” written by Dr. Kent M. Keith.  You can read more about the story on our UniversalGiving blog, PhilanthroPost.

 

 

 

The Classic Pamela Positive: See The Latest On How Are We Connect

In an interesting book called Lessons for the 21st Century, Yuval Noah Harari reminds us that as human beings we are always connected.

 

 

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What is so profound is his discovery of the connections that have happened in our past.

Community was in the form of groups, religion, churches, community leagues, philosophies, salons, discussions and in-person gatherings. As someone who loves volunteering, I love community. Community means spending time together.

 

 

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Yet a shift is happening. Machine-learning and AI are starting to assume the wisdom of how we should group. The wisdom of how we should communicate and the wisdom of our actions. “Group data” is dictating how our communities should act, how we should act, and what we are going to do.

I love community — and I also love technology. I believe it can be used for good. Many companies can use AI and these behavioral predictions to help people in health, business predictions, and operations, reducing costs. This kind of AI is all good.

 

 

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But how discomforting that AI transcends into our personal sphere. Now, more than ever, many of us long for a true, heartfelt connection. Long for caring about the world, long for caring about each other. And machine learning is supposed to be our glue? Machine learning is going to tell us how are going to connect and when and how?

 

 

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I’m not sure we want to be categorized by group behaviors, by computer algorithms that say when we should talk, when we need to meet, or predict how we’re going to behave.

 

 

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However, this may well help companies and their sales teams. It will help companies create and deliver products that may appeal to us. But the line has to stop when it starts to dictate how we act, feel, or how we will act or feel.

 

 

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There’s a part of life that shouldn’t be categorized. There’s a part of human connection that should be considered priceless, unquantifiable. There is a part of us that all long for the literary salon,

 

 

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the community group with a potluck,

 

 

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the book club where we are all nurturing and listening to each other

 

 

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and the warm church or synagogue or temple gathering.

 

 

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We’re not asking to be quantified.

 

 

Let’s go find and nurture community the old-fashioned, connected way. It will create deep relationships and help us be our best. We can be grateful for advancement in technology, but keep community personal. If we listen to our hearts, we will know when we need to meet, with whom and where. We must be sure to

listen to our hearts.

 

Let’s Go Out And Find Some Community,

Pamela

 

 


 

Citations:
Fig. 1: Photo by Rawpixel on Unsplash
Fig. 2: Photo by Robert Bye on Unsplash
Fig. 3: Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash
Fig. 4: Photo by Alexis Brown on Unsplash
Fig. 5: Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash
Fig. 6: Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
Fig. 7: Photo by Gabriel Garcia Marengo on Unsplash
Fig. 8: Photo by Nicole Honeywill on Unsplash
Fig. 9: Photo by Josh Applegate on Unsplash

The Classic Pamela Positive: The Grass Is Greenest Where You Water It

“The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth – i.e. someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.”

-Mitch Temple

 

Let’s be focused on how green we can make our grass!

 

 

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Truly wouldn’t that be lovely? If we all focused on what we have — the wonderful family or our friends who are like family; the job, or the opportunity to explore something new; the husband or the opportunity to date and find the right person – what a joy-filled world we would have! And a joyful world starts with each one of our own little worlds.

 

So this isn’t restricted to simply appreciating your marriage. This is about any relationship or circumstance in life. If you want to be happy, appreciate the parts that are good — and invest in them.

 

If you want to see something to grow, water it!   Let’s look at some practical ways to do so.

 

 

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Love him.  If it’s your husband, love him. Don’t focus on his faults. Well, his clothes might not match. But, he empties the dishwasher.  Let’s water that. 32px-Smiley.svg  Remember, there are millions of women… simply wanting to be married. You have a lifelong committed partner, and that is a very green blessing.

 

Appreciate your business partner’s strengths. If it’s your business partner, appreciate their vision even if they  miss the details. Or, appreciate their attention to detail, if they are missing part of the vision. Work with who they are, and find some quality of value. Let’s be grateful for the partners we have in life.

 

Love your roommate. If they don’t take out the garbage, value that they are nice companions to speak with when you get home at night, pay their rent on time, or like to water plants.

 

 

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Appreciate your teenager. Maybe they aren’t so talkative right now. But they get B+ and As, are good people, and don’t get in trouble. We definitely want to put the sprinkler on that. 32px-Smiley.svg

 

Value your co-chair.  Maybe they’re brusque.  But they deliver value and care a lot.  Fertilize and nurture the value they are giving.  Don’t criticize what they don’t have; be grateful for the strengths they bring. Supplement them. If they are stunning roses with thorns, then plant your gentle daisies.  That’s why you are there!

 

Be Grateful for the Weather as it Keeps the World Going Round. It’s cold.  I know it’s Minnesota, or Hanover.  It can be brutal!  But it’s also beautiful.  Nature and greenery are gorgeous…droughts are not.  In colder climates, strong, tightknit communities are the norm.  Families bond together.  It’s green in the land, and in your heart.

 

So dear Leaders… Water It… Wherever You Are!

 


 

Mitch Temple serves as the director over marriage programs at Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He represents Focus at national events, seminars, media interviews and radio programs.  He has served for 23 years as a pulpit and counseling pastor, specializing in crisis, business and marriage- and family-related issues. He is a published author in various professional journals, and co-author of four marriage books such as The Marriage Turnaround.  His website Mitch Temple Online offers individuals, companies, and churches information on services, articles by Temple, and contributions by many members.  Mitch has been married to Rhonda for 30 years, have 3 grown children and one grand baby.

Bio sources: Focus on the Family and Mitch Temple Online

Quote source: Ten Secrets to a Successful Marriage

The Classic Pamela Positive: “All the Other Things We Think Make Us Happy Are Actually Just Ways of Getting More Family and Friends.”

 

“We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends and almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends.”

 

– Daniel Todd Gilbert, psychologist

 

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Let’s be grateful for all the happiness in our lives today. To truly cherish family, call a long-lost friend, or spend less time on work — and more time on someone.  

All the ‘someones’ in our lives are what give us joy. Appreciate!

Love,

Pamela

 


 

Daniel Todd Gilbert (born November 5, 1957) is Professor of Psychology at Harvard University. He is a social psychologist known for his research (with Timothy Wilson of the University of Virginia) on affective forecasting, with a special emphasis on cognitive biases such as the impact bias. Gilbert authored Stumbling on Happiness, which won the 2007 Royal Society Prizes for Science Books, adding to his list of numerous awards for his teaching and research.  A high school dropout at age 19, he aspired to be a science fiction writer but when a creative writing class he wanted to take was full he took up psychology instead at University of Colorado Denver and Princeton University.  He also wrote essays that appeared in The New York Times and TIME, among others, and penned short stories that were published in Amazing Stories, Isaac Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine and many other magazines and anthologies. He is the co-writer and host of the NOVA television series “This Emotional Life.”  He and his wife Marilynn Oliphant live in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Bio source: Wikipedia: Daniel Gilbert (psychologist)

The Classic Pamela Positive: Deal with the Complete Person – Zig Ziglar

Man is tridimensional (physical, mental, and spiritual). I deal with the complete person. This is the only way to have complete success.”

 

Zig Ziglar

 

 

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We can’t just deal with people from one viewpoint. We all have such important, varied qualities about us. And that’s changing moment by moment… and needs to be honored moment by moment. Who the person is holistically, when honored, brings the greatest benefit to your relationship, your environment, your work, your home.

 

 

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In addition, Zig was known as one of the most positive, joyful people. He wanted to celebrate people; celebrate them for who they are. And so he also celebrated life for who he is: A positive family man; a father and grandfather; a leader; a kind person; a doer of good; a prolific speaker; an engaging writer; and an encourager of others. That’s the holistic Zig Ziglar.   

 

 

*****

 

Hilary Hinton “Zig” Ziglar was a motivational speaker, emphasizing Christian values and achieving success in all areas of life. He was born in Alabama in 1926, to a large family and he was the tenth of twelve children. His family lived there for a few years before moving to Mississippi. Zig dealt with tragedy early in his childhood– losing his father and little sister within the same week. He moved to South Carolina to take part in the Navy Training program at the University of South Carolina. Later, he would join forces to create a company that aimed to change America’s view of salesperson through seminars. This would begin his long and successful time as a speaker that traveled around the country.

 

He was the author of nine books, including See You at the Top and Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World. In 2001, Ziglar was awarded the Cavett Award by The National Speakers Association for bringing honor to the profession and showing commitment to mentoring other members. He passed away November 2012, after his 40-year speaking career brought him to consult for Fortune 500 companies and leaders around the world. He was married to Jean Ziglar and they had four children and seven grandchildren.

The Classic Pamela Positive: What’s In a Conversation…Who Will You “Turn Towards” Today?

 

The word to conversehas morphed to mean using words or talking.

 

But what it meant at inception was to turn towards one another.

 

 

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First, it was designed to delve more deeply into a truth of some sort.  To learn more, explore, care.  It was also to find commonalities amongst people.

 

Yet even more importantly, it means we turn to one another with our full attention. With care, with sincere interest, even a them-onlyfocus.  To converse, then, is actually one of the greatest signs of respect we can provide someone.

 

 

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Who will you turn towardstoday?

 

Turning Towards You,

Pamela

 

 

The Classic Pamela Positive: Why Certain People Are In Your Life

These words have been inspiring to me, and I am glad to share them with you.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

 

 

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When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.  They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.  They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

 

 

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Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.  They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

 

 

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LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person (any way); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.

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