Tag Archives: relationships

The Pamela Positive: Make Criticism Yield to You

“Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself; he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him.”  –Johan Wolfgang von Goethe

No matter how hard it is, we have to face challenging feedback and take some step of action. It’s not easy… but the more we do it, the more we become accustomed to it.   To being honest with ourselves…and to overcoming the challenge.  We grow, we excel, and we move on, up and over it.   With that honesty, as Goethe states, “(the criticism) will gradually yield to him.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) was a German writer and artist, and a leading figure in German literature.  His works include The Sorrows of Young Werther and Faust.  He was highly influential to the 19th century.

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Why Certain People Are In Your Life

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These words have been inspiring to me, and I am glad to share them with you.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.  They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.  They may seem like a godsend, and they are.  They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.  Sometimes they die.  Sometimes they walk away.  Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.  What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.  The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.  They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.  They may teach you something you have never done.  They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.  Believe it!  It is real!  But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.  Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person (any way); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.  It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown

Love: Vulnerability Balanced with Courage

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 “I have learned about love. Love should be easy, free in connection; work, wonderfully so, as in investment; vulnerability balanced with courage, and always undergirded with trust. It should be grace, graced and grateful. It should uplift you.”

Love – we feel it, we know it, we believe in it. And I think it truly is indispensable.. we can’t live without it. As we peel away the layers of love… one I’d like to cover today is:

Vulnerability Balanced with Courage.

Love isn’t always easy for we must be open.  Are you willing to love even if you are hurt?

Because a relationship didn’t work the way you’d prefer… or a church committee member spoke harshly to you… your idea got shot down at work or a precious pet ascended to heaven…

I know… it hurts… of course it does…

So be gentle with yourself, first.

But dear leader – we have to have the courage to soften our hearts, stay receptive, and be open to love at all times.  And yes, that is at home and work.

This allows us to give the most to the world, and to ourselves.

Yes, at all times.

I know that might be hard to hear… Hang in there…

So there may be something that shut you down recently. Well, it’s time to unshutter the door and open back up. Take your heart out of the basement, or release your self-imposed sequestration in the attic. 🙂

Let’s be those loving, beautiful individuals, who deserve to receive and give love. And other people need it too!

Remember, to receive the benefit of love, we have to have courage.

“Love is Vulnerability Balanced with Courage.”

–Sunday, November 29th, 1998. 10:20pm.

***

Pamela Hawley is the founder and CEO of UniversalGiving, an award-winning nonprofit helping people to donate and volunteer with top-performing, vetted organizations all over the world. Unique to UniversalGiving, 100% of all donations go directly to the cause.

Pamela is a winner of the Jefferson Award (the Nobel Prize in Community Service) and has been invited three times to the White House. Pamela was a finalist for Ernst and Young’s Entrepreneur of the Year Award and is an Expert Blogger for Fast Company and CSRWire. She is a philanthropy expert for the new TV show, Billions Rising.

Pamela is also an accomplished actress, improviser, dancer, and singer with over 100 performances in San Francisco, New York, and Los Angeles. She is trained by The Groundlings, a graduate of Upright Citizens Brigade, at advanced level Second City Los Angeles, and a BATS improv player. Pamela donates a portion of every show’s proceeds to UniversalGiving.

The Classic Pamela Positive: Promise Yourself – To talk health… (Part 2 of 10)

fitness-332278_640Promise Yourself, by Christian D. Larson

Promise Yourself is a beautiful list of 10 Positives we should “Promise Ourselves.”   The piece allows us to embrace life fully by expecting the best and clearing away anything that might hold us back.    It’s healthy for our minds and hearts.

Here’s your second one, below. I hope you will practice it with me today!  Please let me know your thoughts and how it affects your day, your life, and the people around you.

Promise yourself

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

 

Christian D. Larson (1874 – 1962) was a New Thought leader and teacher, as well as a prolific author of metaphysical and New Thought books. He is credited by Horatio Dresser as being a founder in the New Thought movement.  Many of Larson’s books remain in print today, nearly 100 years after they were first published, and his writings influenced notable New Thought authors and leaders, including Religious Science founder, Ernest Holmes.

Larson, of Norwegian origin, was born in Iowa and attended Iowa State College and a Unitarian theological school in Meadville, PA.  While little is known about his personal life and what led to his studies in mental science, what is known is its logical teachings appealed to Larson’s analytical mind and led him to discover that combining theology and science could provide a practical and systematic philosophy of life.  During his time he was honorary president of the International New Thought Alliance and lectured extensively during the 1920s and 1930s. He was a colleague of such notables as William Walker Atkinson, Charles Brodie Patterson, and Home of Truth founder Annie Rix Militz. He developed the Optimist Creed in use today by Optimist International, better known as the Optimist Clubs.

Bio Source: Wikipedia and Christian D. Larson Home Page

 

The Classic Pamela Positive: Promise Yourself – To be so strong… (Part 1 of 10)

peaceful-442070_640Promise Yourself, by Christian D. Larson

“Promise Yourself” is a beautiful list of 10 Positives we should “Promise Ourselves.”   The piece allows us to embrace life fully by expecting the best and clearing away anything that might hold us back.    It’s healthy for our minds and hearts.

Here’s your first one, below. I hope you will practice it with me today!  Please let me know your thoughts and how it affects your day, your life, and the people around you.

Promise yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

 

Christian D. Larson (1874 – 1962) was a New Thought leader and teacher, as well as a prolific author of metaphysical and New Thought books. He is credited by Horatio Dresser as being a founder in the New Thought movement.  Many of Larson’s books remain in print today, nearly 100 years after they were first published, and his writings influenced notable New Thought authors and leaders, including Religious Science founder, Ernest Holmes.

Larson, of Norwegian origin, was born in Iowa and attended Iowa State College and a Unitarian theological school in Meadville, PA.  While little is known about his personal life and what led to his studies in mental science, what is known is its logical teachings appealed to Larson’s analytical mind and led him to discover that combining theology and science could provide a practical and systematic philosophy of life.  During his time he was honorary president of the International New Thought Alliance and lectured extensively during the 1920s and 1930s. He was a colleague of such notables as William Walker Atkinson, Charles Brodie Patterson, and Home of Truth founder Annie Rix Militz. He developed the Optimist Creed in use today by Optimist International, better known as the Optimist Clubs.

Bio Source: Wikipedia and Christian D. Larson Home Page

 

The Classic Pamela Positive: Philanthropy at the Dry Cleaners

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Get inspired by an audio version of this blog!

I’ve shared before about philanthropy as “the love of people,” as a daily practice.

One day I had a pivotal experience that helped me be a better ‘daily philanthropist.’  Each day, I make a ‘to do’ list. The list might range from contacting a corporate client, to running an errand at the dry cleaners. Checking off these items certainly gave me a nice sense of satisfaction!

During this day, I found myself particularly busy. I rushed into the dry cleaners. I swooped in to pick up my clothes and left a bundle of clothes on the counter. “There!” I told myself triumphantly. “I fit in the dry cleaners before a meeting. I have gotten one more item off my list!” Accomplishment, I thought; and yet I didn’t feel it.

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What I realized is that the dry cleaners wasn’t an errand.

No, it was not a ‘to-do.’

It was an opportunity to love.

Life is not about lists. We aren’t programmed to just get things done. Instead, each activity, each to-do, each task, is actually an experience of loving. This is especially true because each experience usually means interacting with someone else. And when we do this in a calm, present, joyful way, that’s living. And it’s also the true spirit of philanthropy. Loving and being present with others, with mankind.

As one great thinker wrote, a person “… is a marvel, a miracle in the universe… With selfless love, he inscribes on the heart of humanity and transcribes on the page of reality the living, palpable presence – the might and majesty! – of all goodness. He lives for all mankind.”*

Rushing in and out of the dry cleaners, I had missed a valuable opportunity. What I needed to do was connect with my dry cleaners, know them by name, greet them warmly, and sincerely ask how they are doing. Now I know how Hao is doing, and we have a great relationship of warmth and kindness.  I look forward to our visits.

Writing a check is only one type of philanthropy. I’ve found that it exists at the dry cleaners, and pretty much anywhere we want.  Where does it exist for you?

*Mary Baker Eddy

The Classic Pamela Positive: The Most Positive Things You Can Say

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Here are the top things you can say to make a relationship work, from All There Is:

You look great.

Can I help?

Let’s eat out.

I was wrong.

I am sorry.

I love you.

 —✶—

Say Something Positive Today!!

All There Is by Dave Isay grew from the StoryCorps initiative, a project to record the oral histories of individuals.  StoryCorps has collected stories from more than 75,000 people, in an attempt to record the history of people who rarely appear in history books.  In 2010, Isay published another book from StoryCorps stories, Mom: A Celebration of Mothers from StoryCorps.  All There Is celebrates love, with heartwarming stories from real couples.  Leroy A. Morgan contributed the list quoted above.