Tag Archives: relationships

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Spending Time with People You Love and Who Love You”

“It is only a slight exaggeration to say that happiness is the experience of spending time with people you love and who love you.”

 –Daniel Kahneman, Nobel Laureate

 

Gifts and giving.  We associate so much of that with happiness.  Yet our one true Happiness is Loving Others. 

 

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Oh, that sweet presence to just be around those we cherish and feel at home with!

Daniel Kahneman is an Israeli-American psychologist and Nobel laureate.  He is known for his work in the psychology of decision-making.  He was born in Tel Aviv, spent his childhood in France, and moved to Israel in the late 1940s.  He studied psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, and began his career as a lecturer there.  Kahneman has published extensively in psychology, and received the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economics in 2002 for his work on prospect theory.  He is currently on the faculty at Princeton.

The Classic Pamela Positive: “A Selfless Person Is More Concerned About the Happiness of Another…”

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“A selfless person is one who is more concerned about the happiness and well-being of another than about his or her own convenience or comfort, one who is willing to serve another when it is neither sought for nor appreciated, or one who is willing to serve even those whom he or she dislikes. A selfless person displays a willingness to sacrifice, a willingness to purge from his or her mind and heart personal wants, and needs, and feelings. Instead of reaching for and requiring praise and recognition for himself, or gratification of his or her own wants, the selfless person will meet these very human needs for others. ”

–H. Burke Peterson

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H. Burke Peterson was an authority in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and the author of “A Glimpse of Glory”.  In World War II, he fought with the American Navy in the Pacific theatre.  After the war, he attended the University of Arizona and went on to receive his masters at the Utah State Agricultural College. He was married to Brookie Carden in 1947, and they had five daughters.

The Classic Pamela Positive: Make Criticism Yield to You

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“Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself;

he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him.”

–Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

No matter how hard it is, we have to face challenging feedback and take some step of action. It’s not easy… but the more we do it, the more we become accustomed to it. To being honest with ourselves… and to overcoming the challenge. We grow, we excel, and we move on, up and over it.   With that honesty, as Goethe states, the criticism “will gradually yield to him.”

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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) was a German poet, playwright, novelist, and natural philosopher, best known for his two-part poetic drama Faust, which he started around the age of twenty-three and didn’t finish till shortly before his death sixty years later. He is considered one of the greatest contributors of the German Romantic period. At the age of sixteen, in 1765, Goethe went to Leipzig University to study law as his father wished, though he also gained much recognition from the Rococo poems and lyric he wrote during this period. In 1766, he fell in love with Anne Catharina Schoenkopf (1746-1810) and wrote his joyfully exuberant collection of poems Annette.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe now rests in the Fürstengruft or “Royal Tomb” in the “Historic Cemetery” in Wiemar where his dear friend Schiller is also laid to rest. In honour of these two famous German men of letters, a statue of Goethe and Schiller now stands at the German National Theatre in Munich. UNESCO’S “Memory of the World” list includes the handwritten works of Goethe preserved by the Goethe-Schiller-Archive.

Bio Source: The Literature Network

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Love Many, Trust a Few, And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe”

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“Love Many, Trust a Few, And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe”
–Terri, from Coudersport, PA, as seen on Dark Chocolate Dove Wrapper

Terri has it right. What a joy to enjoy dark chocolate, which I love, with a truly inspired quote.

Life affords us so many ways to love, and how important we keep doing so. At the same time, we have to be careful, and so Trust, or entrusting ourselves to others, perhaps must be a bit more rare.  I wish it weren’t so… however, everyone is on their pathway of personal growth. So we must honor them, honor ourselves: We should always love, but not necessarily entrust to others.

As far as paddling one’s own canoe. As my Oma says, “You’d better put a little elbow grease into that.” She was always ensuring she had pulled her weight. In fact, when I went over to Oma’s for a sleepover as a young child, even at the age of 8 or 9, our fun together — was working together. We scrubbed the kitchen floor on hands and knees, sharpened pencils, and wrote up a list for the freezer so she knew what was in there. She taught me to care about being clean, ordered and organized, which made her home special. She made it fun. I loved working with my Oma.

 

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Terri, we thank you for a quote which has delighted us all!

The Classic Pamela Positive: Sticking with the Beauty of Loving Yourself and Others

In this article by fellow Fast Company blogger, Alicia Morga, advised: “Adopt the Cindy Crawford motto: no flaws…stick with the beauty of loving yourself and others.”

As Cindy Crawford says,

“Never point out your flaws, but do admit to your mistakes.”

 

What a powerful distinction.  Cindy is an accomplished wife, mother, businesswoman, spokesperson and model.  She’s demonstrated beauty in so many ways, specifically through her acumen, well-spoken manner, desire to make a beautiful life and home accessible to everyone, and most importantly, knowing that true, lasting beauty starts and comes from within.

Beauty is about trusting yourself, appreciating your unique qualities, just as we should for other people. It’s one of our greatest age old wisdoms, to love your neighbor as yourself.  And to love our neighbor as ourselves, we have to start with, yes, you and me.

 

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So, as Cindy advises, don’t point out areas of yourself that are weak. You might be working on those, and we all have areas of improvement. Do demonstrate your positive qualities of intellect, kindness, graciousness, honesty, selflessness. We recognize and celebrate these abundantly.

There will be a time, many times, when we all need to own up to mistakes or ways we can be better. Then we, with rapid fire, should admit our mistakes and, where necessary, apologize. Part of our beauty is cultivating caring, honest, open relationships where we admit where we could have been better. With this admittance comes strength and a more beautifully enduring relationship with others – and ourselves.

Truth is beauty. We start with the Truth of what is good about us and others. We stay with that until we find a time where we need to admit where we fell down. And we avoid simply putting others, or ourselves, down at all.

Stick with the Beauty of loving yourself and others.

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Cindy Crawford was a popular supermodel of the ’80s and ’90s. She was frequently featured on a number of magazines including Vogue, Elle, Cosmopolitan, and Allure. She has walked on the runway for many brands including Chanel, Valentino, and Christian Dior. She has also been involved in fitness campaigns, and appeared in TV, music videos, and movies.  Since retiring from modeling in 2000, she has been working on creating beauty products and home furnishings. 

When Crawford was ten, her three-year-old brother Jeff died of leukemia. Since then, a focal point of her charity work has been childhood leukemia research. She is an official supporter of the Ronald McDonald House Charities and an honorary committee member of the California Wildlife Center. She is married to fellow model, Rande Gerber and they have two children together. 

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Look Deeply and Recognize the Real Enemy” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“If I can say anything to you, it is to invite you to look deeply and recognize the real enemy. The enemy is not a person. That enemy is a way of thinking that has brought a lot of suffering for everyone.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh

Anything negative — is not from a person.

Radical thinking?  It shouldn’t be.   If we view the enemy as simply a thought and not a person, we depersonalize it.   It’s temporary, changeable.   And we allow the person to grow beyond it, rather than be it.

We can then eliminate personal offense, and work constructively towards a solution.

Look at the Why

If something seems to be negative, we can encourage ourselves to look at “the why.” Why might someone think, or take action, in this way?   This offers us an opportunity to develop empathy. Perhaps this person—let’s call her Jeanine—came from a difficult circumstance or has been hurt.

It’s not Jeanine who is “bad,” but the experiences which occurred in her life which impacted her.  It’s those events that led to the thinking and action behind negativity.

So Jeanine’s identity is not “Prejudice”, “Anger” or “Hurt”:

It’s instead:

The most beautiful thing about this is the following.

She can change.

Allow her to do so.  Wouldn’t we all wish to be forgiven for a past action?

Happy PeopleEvery day we can begin again.   We can embrace a fresh purity for each person in our lives, allowing us and others to lives to our fullest – with Love.

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Thich Nhat Hanh is a Buddhist monk and Zen master.  He is a well-known poet, writer and peace activist.  A native of Vietnam, during the Vietnam War he helped found the “engaged Buddhism” movement, combining the contemplative practice of the monastery with active ministry to victims of the conflict.  He founded the School of Youth Social Service, a Buddhist University, a publishing house, and a Vietnamese peace activist magazine.

During a trip to the United States, Thich Nhat Hanh persuaded Martin Luther King, Jr. to publicly oppose the Vietnam War; King subsequently nominated him for a Nobel Peace Prize.  Thich Nhat Hanh led the Buddhist delegation to the Paris Peace Talks.

Thich Nhat Hanh is the author of more than 85 books on mindfulness and peace.  He founded the Plum Village community in France, a Buddhist community in exile.   He continues to live and work at the Plum Village, and leads retreats worldwide on “the art of mindful living.”

The Classic Pamela Positive: Promise Yourself – To be too large for worry… (Part 10 of 10)

white-bengal-tiger-407027_640Promise Yourself, by Christian D. Larson

Promise Yourself is a beautiful list of 10 Positives we should “Promise Ourselves.”   The piece allows us to embrace life fully by expecting the best and clearing away anything that might hold us back.    It’s healthy for our minds and hearts.

Here’s your tenth one, below. I hope you will practice it with me today!  Please let me know your thoughts and how it affects your day, your life, and the people around you.

Promise yourself

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

 

Christian D. Larson (1874 – 1962) was a New Thought leader and teacher, as well as a prolific author of metaphysical and New Thought books. He is credited by Horatio Dresser as being a founder in the New Thought movement.  Many of Larson’s books remain in print today, nearly 100 years after they were first published, and his writings influenced notable New Thought authors and leaders, including Religious Science founder, Ernest Holmes.

Larson, of Norwegian origin, was born in Iowa and attended Iowa State College and a Unitarian theological school in Meadville, PA.  While little is known about his personal life and what led to his studies in mental science, what is known is its logical teachings appealed to Larson’s analytical mind and led him to discover that combining theology and science could provide a practical and systematic philosophy of life.  During his time he was honorary president of the International New Thought Alliance and lectured extensively during the 1920s and 1930s. He was a colleague of such notables as William Walker Atkinson, Charles Brodie Patterson, and Home of Truth founder Annie Rix Militz. He developed the Optimist Creed in use today by Optimist International, better known as the Optimist Clubs.

Bio Source: Wikipedia and Christian D. Larson Home Page