Tag Archives: Trust

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Come to the Edge”

 

 

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Come to the edge, Life said.
They said, we are afraid.
Come to the edge, Life said.
They came; Life pushed them.
And they flew!

 

Poem by Christopher Logue

The Classic Pamela Positive: If We Center Down… What Is the Vital Part That Remains?

 

“… If we center down… and live in that holy Silence, which is dearer than life, and take our life program into the silent places of the heart, with complete openness, ready to do, ready to renounce according to His leading, then many of the things we are doing lose their vitality for us.”

 

– Thomas R. Kelly, A Testament of Devotion, Section: The Simplification of Life

 

 

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What is absolutely vital in your life today? Are you truly called to be doing what you’re doing… or is it simply your agenda? Align your purpose with a divine motive…

 

 

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Thomas R. Kelly (1893-1941) was a Quaker educator and writer, with a focus on mysticism.  He graduated from Wilmington College, and studied at Hartford Theological Seminary with an interest in being a missionary.  During World War I, he joined the YMCA to work with the troops, and worked with German prisoners of war.  His pacifist position eventually lost him this position.  He returned to Hartford to complete his training, and married Lael Macy.  In the 1920s, Kelly and his wife went to Germany, where they were significant in founding a Quaker community.  He returned to Germany in 1938 to encourage Quakers living under Hitler.  Kelly taught at a number of universities throughout the 1930s.  His collection of writing, “A Testament of Devotion”, was published posthumously by a colleague.

The Classic Pamela Positive: “You’ll See Spirit Operating Everywhere” —Dan Millman

 

“Like the flower, trusting Spirit working according to a higher will beyond the reach of your mind, you’ll see Spirit operating everywhere, in everyone and everything…

 

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…To trust the process of your life. The more you trust Spirit in this way, the more you will work with it directly as a living force in your life… unfolding, like a flower, toward the Light.” 

—Dan Millman

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Dan Millman is an American writer and speaker. He was born and raised in Los Angeles, California, where he had an extremely active childhood. He took part in modern dance, trampoline, and gymnastics. Millman attended University of California, Berkeley, where he would receive study psychology. He won the 1964 Trampoline World Championships in London, earned All-American honors and won an NCAA Championship in vaulting, and in 1966 he won the USGF championship in floor exercise. He won four Gold Medals in gymnastics at the 1966 Maccabiah Games. He would go on to coach gymnastics at Stanford University, before he began conducting motivational seminars and presenting keynote speeches. He’s married to Joy Millman and they have three adult children.

 

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Be Loyal To Those Who Are Not Present” — Steven Covey

            “One of the most important ways to manifest integrity is to be                           loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, we build the trust of those who are present.  When you defend those who are absent, you retain the trust of those present.”

Stephen Covey, Author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

 

How easy it is to make that small comment on the side: to slight the person, who slighted you. Maybe you were kinder, but you still wanted to do that little jab back.  You’re probably embarrassed and can hardly admit it to yourself…

 

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No matter what someone has done to you, you have a job. That’s right, it’s a job, it’s a position, it’s a role, it’s a calling in life, it’s the gift of your life. You can take a stand for goodness.

 

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You can take a stand for truth. You can break—the—chain.

As Steven Covey, one of our greatest leadership writers admonishes us, if you want to demonstrate true integrity, “be loyal to those not present.” That means you uphold the positive virtues and see the goodness in their lives. We start with that. It also means that if you do need to be open and honest, you can do so in a kind and loving way.  You do this in their presence (not others’ presence).

What does that mean if you speak negatively when they’re not present?

You’re doing it for your own ego, your own self-satisfaction, and building up your own sense of “justice.” Do you really think speaking  pejoratively about others is going to lift yourself up? In fact, it’s going to tear you down. If you try to pull others down, you pull down your own integrity: You pull yourself down with them.

 

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Being loyal to those not present builds trust. In essence, what Steven Covey is saying is, be gracious. Uphold others’ character — and your own character — by speaking well of others and expecting their best.

That brings about the best for everyone! And about the best in your life, too!

Speak well,

Pamela

 

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Stephen Covey was a professor and author, writer of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.  His work focused primarily on leadership, family and living with principle.  He was a professor at the Jon M. Huntsman School of Business at Utah State University.  When he was younger he played sports but an injury in his youth switched his focus from athletics to academics. He attended the University of Utah for his undergraduate degree and attended Harvard for his MBA. Although he earned his doctorate from Brigham Young University, he has also been awarded ten more honorary doctorates. He was also a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In his spare time, he enjoyed cycling and giving keynote addresses. He and his wife, Sandra, have nine children and fifty-two grandchildren. 

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Love Many, Trust a Few, And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe”

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“Love Many, Trust a Few, And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe”
–Terri, from Coudersport, PA, as seen on Dark Chocolate Dove Wrapper

Terri has it right. What a joy to enjoy dark chocolate, which I love, with a truly inspired quote.

Life affords us so many ways to love, and how important we keep doing so. At the same time, we have to be careful, and so Trust, or entrusting ourselves to others, perhaps must be a bit more rare.  I wish it weren’t so… however, everyone is on their pathway of personal growth. So we must honor them, honor ourselves: We should always love, but not necessarily entrust to others.

As far as paddling one’s own canoe. As my Oma says, “You’d better put a little elbow grease into that.” She was always ensuring she had pulled her weight. In fact, when I went over to Oma’s for a sleepover as a young child, even at the age of 8 or 9, our fun together — was working together. We scrubbed the kitchen floor on hands and knees, sharpened pencils, and wrote up a list for the freezer so she knew what was in there. She taught me to care about being clean, ordered and organized, which made her home special. She made it fun. I loved working with my Oma.

 

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Terri, we thank you for a quote which has delighted us all!

The Classic Pamela Positive: The Most Positive Things You Can Say

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Here are the top things you can say to make a relationship work, from All There Is:

You look great.

Can I help?

Let’s eat out.

I was wrong.

I am sorry.

I love you.

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Say Something Positive Today!!

All There Is by Dave Isay grew from the StoryCorps initiative, a project to record the oral histories of individuals.  StoryCorps has collected stories from more than 75,000 people, in an attempt to record the history of people who rarely appear in history books.  In 2010, Isay published another book from StoryCorps stories, Mom: A Celebration of Mothers from StoryCorps.  All There Is celebrates love, with heartwarming stories from real couples.  Leroy A. Morgan contributed the list quoted above.

Would You Say No To a Text? (Third in a Series of Three)

This is part 3 of a 3 part series that talks about finding and developing relationships you care about when social media can make it confusing to determine which are real. 
As you saw in my first part of this series, being present at lunch can make all the difference. (Read before about my lunch with Steve Mitchell from Ernst and Young, and the gift making each moment about people, relationships and being present. And in the second in our Series, we spoke of “Saying No to Social Media”.
So here’s where we are getting to the crux of what relationships mean in our day-to-day.   I am mentoring a few university students on their projects. Often times, the calls veer into day-to-day questions about values, and what is important in life. These conversations are very sincere, caring as students share their deepest thoughts.
I received this call the other evening from a very smart, engaged engineer who wants to make a difference in clean energy.
“I’m feeling really concerned. It feels off,” he said.
“What’s going on,” I respond.
“I was just realizing I am walking around campus and I know 100 people.  They know me. We say hi and we are friendly and it’s like I know all these people.”
“But I don’t,” he continued.  “At the end of the day, who of these people has my back…?”
 
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He was really worried.
It’s actually a good marker he was worried. For what he was driving at was that he desired substance.  That true connection, that life is about people, relationships and being present. And he didn’t necessarily feel that.  Who would have his back, or, be there for him?
 
Conversations like these show a natural backlash to our texting and social media norms.  They confront what being connected, feeling loved and feeling safe means.  So we have to work on having relationships in our lives that really make a difference. 
 
“Deepak,* you’re having the right thoughts. You’re valuing people and you’re seeking greater connections.  But the question I would ask is not “who has your back,” but “whose back do you have?  Who do you really care about, and of those 100 people, who do you really want a long-term, positive relationship of care and true sharing?”
 
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When we ask how we can care about someone else, we start taking practical steps to connect with them.  We will listen, help them grow and cheer them on.   Now you “have their back,” although I would say you’re seeking a way to connect mind and hearts. We’re not just trying to protect ourselves or others. We are seeking enriching, loving relationships.  
 
This led Deepak to start thinking about who he wanted a deeper relationship with. Maybe that was more lunches, study times, or shared activities with a few people.  It brought relief to his mind. He had a plan on how to care more deeply about others, and how they in turn would do the same.
 
In this digital world, we get caught up in texting, social media, and simply “waving to 100 people” who we might not really know.  For a true connection in life it’s about people, relationships and being present. How will you connect and care for someone today, offline? Please share!
*name was changed for confidential reasons