Tag Archives: Trust

The Classic Pamela Positive: The Most Positive Things You Can Say

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Here are the top things you can say to make a relationship work, from All There Is:

You look great.

Can I help?

Let’s eat out.

I was wrong.

I am sorry.

I love you.

 —✶—

Say Something Positive Today!!

All There Is by Dave Isay grew from the StoryCorps initiative, a project to record the oral histories of individuals.  StoryCorps has collected stories from more than 75,000 people, in an attempt to record the history of people who rarely appear in history books.  In 2010, Isay published another book from StoryCorps stories, Mom: A Celebration of Mothers from StoryCorps.  All There Is celebrates love, with heartwarming stories from real couples.  Leroy A. Morgan contributed the list quoted above.

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Would You Say No To a Text? (Third in a Series of Three)

This is part 3 of a 3 part series that talks about finding and developing relationships you care about when social media can make it confusing to determine which are real. 
As you saw in my first part of this series, being present at lunch can make all the difference. (Read before about my lunch with Steve Mitchell from Ernst and Young, and the gift making each moment about people, relationships and being present. And in the second in our Series, we spoke of “Saying No to Social Media”.
So here’s where we are getting to the crux of what relationships mean in our day-to-day.   I am mentoring a few university students on their projects. Often times, the calls veer into day-to-day questions about values, and what is important in life. These conversations are very sincere, caring as students share their deepest thoughts.
I received this call the other evening from a very smart, engaged engineer who wants to make a difference in clean energy.
“I’m feeling really concerned. It feels off,” he said.
“What’s going on,” I respond.
“I was just realizing I am walking around campus and I know 100 people.  They know me. We say hi and we are friendly and it’s like I know all these people.”
“But I don’t,” he continued.  “At the end of the day, who of these people has my back…?”
 
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He was really worried.
It’s actually a good marker he was worried. For what he was driving at was that he desired substance.  That true connection, that life is about people, relationships and being present. And he didn’t necessarily feel that.  Who would have his back, or, be there for him?
 
Conversations like these show a natural backlash to our texting and social media norms.  They confront what being connected, feeling loved and feeling safe means.  So we have to work on having relationships in our lives that really make a difference. 
 
“Deepak,* you’re having the right thoughts. You’re valuing people and you’re seeking greater connections.  But the question I would ask is not “who has your back,” but “whose back do you have?  Who do you really care about, and of those 100 people, who do you really want a long-term, positive relationship of care and true sharing?”
 
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When we ask how we can care about someone else, we start taking practical steps to connect with them.  We will listen, help them grow and cheer them on.   Now you “have their back,” although I would say you’re seeking a way to connect mind and hearts. We’re not just trying to protect ourselves or others. We are seeking enriching, loving relationships.  
 
This led Deepak to start thinking about who he wanted a deeper relationship with. Maybe that was more lunches, study times, or shared activities with a few people.  It brought relief to his mind. He had a plan on how to care more deeply about others, and how they in turn would do the same.
 
In this digital world, we get caught up in texting, social media, and simply “waving to 100 people” who we might not really know.  For a true connection in life it’s about people, relationships and being present. How will you connect and care for someone today, offline? Please share!
*name was changed for confidential reasons

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Love Many, Trust a Few, And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe”

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“Love Many, Trust a Few, And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe”
–Terri, from Coudersport, PA, as seen on Dark Chocolate Dove Wrapper

Terri has it right. What a joy to enjoy dark chocolate, which I love, with a truly inspired quote.

Life affords us so many ways to love, and how important we keep doing so. At the same time, we have to be careful, and so Trust, or entrusting ourselves to others, perhaps must be a bit more rare.  I wish it weren’t so… however, everyone is on their pathway of personal growth. So we must honor them, honor ourselves: We should always love, but not necessarily entrust to others.

As far as paddling one’s own canoe. As my Oma says, “You’d better put a little elbow grease into that.” She was always ensuring she had pulled her weight. In fact, when I went over to Oma’s for a sleepover as a young child, even at the age of 8 or 9, our fun together — was working together. We scrubbed the kitchen floor on hands and knees, sharpened pencils, and wrote up a list for the freezer so she knew what was in there. She taught me to care about being clean, ordered and organized, which made her home special. She made it fun. I loved working with my Oma.

Terri, we thank you for a quote which has delighted us all!

The Classic Pamela Positive: Do It Anyway

Do It Anyway

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

This poem is widely attributed to Mother Teresa, after it was found hanging on a wall in her home for children in Calcutta.  It is a revised version of “The Paradoxical Commandments,” written by Dr. Kent M. Keith.  You can read more about the story on our UniversalGiving blog, PhilanthroPost.

The Classic Pamela Positive: The Most Positive Things You Can Say

all_there_is

Here are the top things you can say to make a relationship work, from All There Is:

You look great.

Can I help?

Let’s eat out.

I was wrong.

I am sorry.

I love you.

 —✶—

Say Something Positive Today!!

All There Is by Dave Isay grew from the StoryCorps initiative, a project to record the oral histories of individuals.  StoryCorps has collected stories from more than 75,000 people, in an attempt to record the history of people who rarely appear in history books.  In 2010, Isay published another book from StoryCorps stories, Mom: A Celebration of Mothers from StoryCorps.  All There Is celebrates love, with heartwarming stories from real couples.  Leroy A. Morgan contributed the list quoted above.

The Classic Pamela Positive: “You Have to Be Able to Tell People ‘Great Job’ on Things That Didn’t Work”

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“You have to be able to tell people ‘great job’ on things that didn’t work.”

— J. Kermit Campbell, former CEO of Herman Miller

Get inspired by an audio version of this blog!

Campbell has it right.  A CEO is not an expert except in one area: getting the right people. Actually, let’s add another area: values. You must be a leader who gets the best people and demonstrates the highest values.

Even if you are a manager, you should still think this way. Empower your people to learn and maintain a domain of expertise. Hopefully, you can hire them with it. If you can’t, make sure they have the rapid capability to do so.  Let’s learn from Campbell’s advice to us:

“I don’t believe that my job is to lead design at Herman Miller.  My job is to make sure we have great design leaders, continue to listen and try to learn from them…My job is not to be a creative guy, my job is to create a culture that allows and promotes creativity…

You’re going to have to take risks. It’s not all going to work.

You have to be able to tell people ‘great job’ on things that didn’t work.”

J. Kermit Campbell is a former CEO of Herman Miller, and the current Lead Independent Director of SPX Corporation.  He is an investor or board member for a number of companies and charitable organizations.  Herman Miller is a leading furniture company, founded by D. J. DePree, with a more than 100-year history.  They focus on innovation, and designing products to create a better world.

The Classic Pamela Positive: “In Happy Moments…”

“In happy moments, praise God.  In the difficult moments, seek God.  In the quiet moments, trust God.  In every moment, thank God.”

– Anonymous