Tag Archives: Trust

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Be Loyal To Those Who Are Not Present” — Steven Covey

            “One of the most important ways to manifest integrity is to be loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, we build the trust of those who are present. When you defend those who are absent, you retain the trust of those present.”

Stephen Covey, Author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

 

How easy it is to make that small comment on the side: to slight the person, who slighted you. Maybe you were kinder, but you still wanted to do that little jab back. You’re probably embarrassed and can hardly admit it to yourself…

 

 

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No matter what someone has done to you, you have a job. That’s right, it’s a job, it’s a position, it’s a role, it’s a calling in life, it’s the gift of your life. You can take a stand for goodness.

 

 

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You can take a stand for truth. You can break—the—chain.

As Steven Covey, one of our greatest leadership writers admonishes us, if you want to demonstrate true integrity, “be loyal to those not present.” That means you uphold the positive virtues and see the goodness in their lives. We start with that. It also means that if you do need to be open and honest, you can do so in a kind and loving way.  You do this in their presence (not others’ presence).

What does that mean if you speak negatively when they’re not present?

You’re doing it for your own ego, your own self-satisfaction, and building up your own sense of “justice.” Do you really think speaking  pejoratively about others is going to lift yourself up? In fact, it’s going to tear you down. If you try to pull others down, you pull down your own integrity: You pull yourself down with them.

 

 

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Being loyal to those not present builds trust. In essence, what Steven Covey is saying is, be gracious. Uphold others’ character — and your own character — by speaking well of others and expecting their best.

That brings about the best for everyone! And about the best in your life, too!

Speak well,

Pamela

 

 


 

 

Stephen Covey was a professor and author, writer of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. His work focused primarily on leadership, family and living with principle. He was a professor at the Jon M. Huntsman School of Business at Utah State University. When he was younger he played sports but an injury in his youth switched his focus from athletics to academics. He attended the University of Utah for his undergraduate degree and attended Harvard for his MBA. Although he earned his doctorate from Brigham Young University, he has also been awarded ten more honorary doctorates. He was also a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In his spare time, he enjoyed cycling and giving keynote addresses. He and his wife, Sandra, have nine children and fifty-two grandchildren. 

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Love Many, Trust a Few, And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe”

 

“Love Many, Trust a Few, And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe”

 

–Terri, from Coudersport, PA, as seen on Dark Chocolate Dove Wrapper

 

Terri has it right. What a joy to enjoy dark chocolate, which I love, with a truly inspired quote.

 

 

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Life affords us so many ways to love, and how important we keep doing so. At the same time, we have to be careful, and so Trust, or entrusting ourselves to others, perhaps must be a bit more rare.  I wish it weren’t so… however, everyone is on their pathway of personal growth. So we must honor them, honor ourselves: We should always love, but not necessarily entrust to others.

 

As far as paddling one’s own canoe. As my Oma says, “You’d better put a little elbow grease into that.” She was always ensuring she had pulled her weight. In fact, when I went over to Oma’s for a sleepover as a young child, even at the age of 8 or 9, our fun together — was working together. We scrubbed the kitchen floor on hands and knees, sharpened pencils, and wrote up a list for the freezer so she knew what was in there. She taught me to care about being clean, ordered and organized, which made her home special. She made it fun. I loved working with my Oma.

 

 

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Terri, we thank you for a quote which has delighted us all!

The Classic Pamela Positive: The Most Positive Things You Can Say

 

Here are the top things you can say to make a relationship work, from All There Is:

You look great.

Can I help?

Let’s eat out.

I was wrong.

I am sorry.

I love you.

 

 

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Say Something Positive Today!!

 

 


 

 

All There Is by Dave Isay grew from the StoryCorps initiative, a project to record the oral histories of individuals.  StoryCorps has collected stories from more than 75,000 people, in an attempt to record the history of people who rarely appear in history books.  In 2010, Isay published another book from StoryCorps stories, Mom: A Celebration of Mothers from StoryCorps.  All There Is celebrates love, with heartwarming stories from real couples.  Leroy A. Morgan contributed the list quoted above.

The Classic Pamela Positive: “You’ll See Spirit Operating Everywhere” —Dan Millman

 

“Like the flower, trusting Spirit working according to a higher will beyond the reach of your mind, you’ll see Spirit operating everywhere, in everyone and everything…

 

 

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…To trust the process of your life. The more you trust Spirit in this way, the more you will work with it directly as a living force in your life… unfolding, like a flower, toward the Light.” 

—Dan Millman

 

 

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Dan Millman is an American writer and speaker. He was born and raised in Los Angeles, California, where he had an extremely active childhood. He took part in modern dance, trampoline, and gymnastics. Millman attended University of California, Berkeley, where he would receive study psychology. He won the 1964 Trampoline World Championships in London, earned All-American honors and won an NCAA Championship in vaulting, and in 1966 he won the USGF championship in floor exercise. He won four Gold Medals in gymnastics at the 1966 Maccabiah Games. He would go on to coach gymnastics at Stanford University, before he began conducting motivational seminars and presenting keynote speeches. He’s married to Joy Millman and they have three adult children.

 

The Classic Pamela Positive: “In Happy Moments…”

 

“In happy moments, praise God.  In the difficult moments, seek God.  In the quiet moments, trust God.  In every moment, thank God.”

 

– Anonymous

 

 

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Law Enforcement Or Trust

 

“Law enforcement is the ‘last resort’ 

 

–       Mayor of Oakland, Libby Schaaf

 

What’s the most important thing in law enforcement?

Trust.

Truly what has to happen first is a very strong commitment by any law enforcement agency in building trust. It’s trust first, then, the Law as last resort.

 

 

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How can you build trust?

Well, one of the first objectives is to have law enforcement or community training.  In this way, law enforcement officers that are tasked with enforcing the law, often police officers, and are trained to think about peace, stability and positive measures to prevent violence.

Good News! In Oakland, each police officer has been required to have 8-hour training about why and how people in the community distrust Oakland police. For example, this shows community awareness and it shows an effort to understand the other person’s side.

 

 

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There are programs such as Ceasefire Intervention, which has helped homicides to go down by more than 30% last year.1 Essentially the program treats gangs by helping refer them to social services, encouraging talks and positive communications from law officials.1

 

 

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Therefore, both police officials and community members can undergo community building activities and peace training. In this way, both sides commit to a long-term solution of expecting the best, working for the best, and achieving peace.

 

 

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Does this take work?

 

 

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It sure does. Most anything in life takes hard earned work to achieve hard earned results. And what could be a better result than peace?

May Our Communities Heal,

Pamela

P.S. Perhaps you’d like to support peace today, click here if so!

 


 

 

Citations:
Hernández, Lauren, “With gun killings down in Oakland, police credit Ceasefire program”, San Francisco Chronicle, August 24, 2018,https://www.sfchronicle.com/crime/article/Gun-homicides-down-in-Oakland-police-credit-13173249.php
Fig. 1: Photo by Rawpixel on Unsplash
Fig. 2: Photo by Matt Popovich on Unsplash
Fig. 3: Photo by Alice Donovan Rouse on Unsplash

 

 

 

The Classic Pamela Positive: Do It Anyway

 

Do It Anyway

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.

 

 

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What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

 


 

This poem is widely attributed to Mother Teresa, after it was found hanging on a wall in her home for children in Calcutta.  It is a revised version of “The Paradoxical Commandments,” written by Dr. Kent M. Keith.  You can read more about the story on our UniversalGiving blog, PhilanthroPost.