Tag Archives: caring

The Classic Pamela Positive: “A Selfless Person Is More Concerned About the Happiness of Another…”

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“A selfless person is one who is more concerned about the happiness and well-being of another than about his or her own convenience or comfort, one who is willing to serve another when it is neither sought for nor appreciated, or one who is willing to serve even those whom he or she dislikes. A selfless person displays a willingness to sacrifice, a willingness to purge from his or her mind and heart personal wants, and needs, and feelings. Instead of reaching for and requiring praise and recognition for himself, or gratification of his or her own wants, the selfless person will meet these very human needs for others. ”

–H. Burke Peterson

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H. Burke Peterson was an authority in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and the author of “A Glimpse of Glory”.  In World War II, he fought with the American Navy in the Pacific theatre.  After the war, he attended the University of Arizona and went on to receive his masters at the Utah State Agricultural College. He was married to Brookie Carden in 1947, and they had five daughters.

The Classic Pamela Positive: Make Criticism Yield to You

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“Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself;

he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him.”

–Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

No matter how hard it is, we have to face challenging feedback and take some step of action. It’s not easy… but the more we do it, the more we become accustomed to it. To being honest with ourselves… and to overcoming the challenge. We grow, we excel, and we move on, up and over it.   With that honesty, as Goethe states, the criticism “will gradually yield to him.”

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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) was a German poet, playwright, novelist, and natural philosopher, best known for his two-part poetic drama Faust, which he started around the age of twenty-three and didn’t finish till shortly before his death sixty years later. He is considered one of the greatest contributors of the German Romantic period. At the age of sixteen, in 1765, Goethe went to Leipzig University to study law as his father wished, though he also gained much recognition from the Rococo poems and lyric he wrote during this period. In 1766, he fell in love with Anne Catharina Schoenkopf (1746-1810) and wrote his joyfully exuberant collection of poems Annette.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe now rests in the Fürstengruft or “Royal Tomb” in the “Historic Cemetery” in Wiemar where his dear friend Schiller is also laid to rest. In honour of these two famous German men of letters, a statue of Goethe and Schiller now stands at the German National Theatre in Munich. UNESCO’S “Memory of the World” list includes the handwritten works of Goethe preserved by the Goethe-Schiller-Archive.

Bio Source: The Literature Network

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Love Many, Trust a Few, And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe”

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“Love Many, Trust a Few, And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe”
–Terri, from Coudersport, PA, as seen on Dark Chocolate Dove Wrapper

Terri has it right. What a joy to enjoy dark chocolate, which I love, with a truly inspired quote.

Life affords us so many ways to love, and how important we keep doing so. At the same time, we have to be careful, and so Trust, or entrusting ourselves to others, perhaps must be a bit more rare.  I wish it weren’t so… however, everyone is on their pathway of personal growth. So we must honor them, honor ourselves: We should always love, but not necessarily entrust to others.

As far as paddling one’s own canoe. As my Oma says, “You’d better put a little elbow grease into that.” She was always ensuring she had pulled her weight. In fact, when I went over to Oma’s for a sleepover as a young child, even at the age of 8 or 9, our fun together — was working together. We scrubbed the kitchen floor on hands and knees, sharpened pencils, and wrote up a list for the freezer so she knew what was in there. She taught me to care about being clean, ordered and organized, which made her home special. She made it fun. I loved working with my Oma.

 

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Terri, we thank you for a quote which has delighted us all!

The Pamela Positive: “Do Great Deeds with Little Means” – Russell Conwell

“Greatness consists in doing great deeds with little means in the accomplishment of vast purposes.

It consists in the private ranks of life, in helping one’s fellows, in benefiting one’s neighborhood, in blessing one’s own city and state.”

– Russell Conwell

It’s that simple.

Give something today,
Pamela

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Russell Conwell (February 15, 1843 – December 6, 1925) was an American Baptist minister, orator, philanthropist, lawyer, and writer. He is best remembered as the founder and first president of Temple University in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and for his inspirational lecture Acres of Diamonds. The son of Massachusetts farmers, Conwell attended Yale University and after graduating enlisted in the Union Army during the American Civil War. He was ordained as a Baptist minister in 1880, and delivered his famous speech “Acres of Diamonds” over 6,000 times around the world. The central idea of the work is that one need not look elsewhere for opportunity, achievement, or fortune – the resources to achieve all good things are present in one’s own community. Conwell’s capacity to establish Temple University and his other civic projects largely derived from the income that he earned from the speech. The published version has been regarded as a classic of New Thought literature since the 1870s.

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Look Deeply and Recognize the Real Enemy” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“If I can say anything to you, it is to invite you to look deeply and recognize the real enemy. The enemy is not a person. That enemy is a way of thinking that has brought a lot of suffering for everyone.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh

Anything negative — is not from a person.

Radical thinking?  It shouldn’t be.   If we view the enemy as simply a thought and not a person, we depersonalize it.   It’s temporary, changeable.   And we allow the person to grow beyond it, rather than be it.

We can then eliminate personal offense, and work constructively towards a solution.

Look at the Why

If something seems to be negative, we can encourage ourselves to look at “the why.” Why might someone think, or take action, in this way?   This offers us an opportunity to develop empathy. Perhaps this person—let’s call her Jeanine—came from a difficult circumstance or has been hurt.

It’s not Jeanine who is “bad,” but the experiences which occurred in her life which impacted her.  It’s those events that led to the thinking and action behind negativity.

So Jeanine’s identity is not “Prejudice”, “Anger” or “Hurt”:

It’s instead:

The most beautiful thing about this is the following.

She can change.

Allow her to do so.  Wouldn’t we all wish to be forgiven for a past action?

Happy PeopleEvery day we can begin again.   We can embrace a fresh purity for each person in our lives, allowing us and others to lives to our fullest – with Love.

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Thich Nhat Hanh is a Buddhist monk and Zen master.  He is a well-known poet, writer and peace activist.  A native of Vietnam, during the Vietnam War he helped found the “engaged Buddhism” movement, combining the contemplative practice of the monastery with active ministry to victims of the conflict.  He founded the School of Youth Social Service, a Buddhist University, a publishing house, and a Vietnamese peace activist magazine.

During a trip to the United States, Thich Nhat Hanh persuaded Martin Luther King, Jr. to publicly oppose the Vietnam War; King subsequently nominated him for a Nobel Peace Prize.  Thich Nhat Hanh led the Buddhist delegation to the Paris Peace Talks.

Thich Nhat Hanh is the author of more than 85 books on mindfulness and peace.  He founded the Plum Village community in France, a Buddhist community in exile.   He continues to live and work at the Plum Village, and leads retreats worldwide on “the art of mindful living.”

The Classic Pamela Positive: Give A Gift Every Day

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Give a gift every day.

Send your friend’s birthday gift early.

See a gift that would be meaningful for someone you care about, and just buy it. Give it to them now.

Take the time to cook a meal for your partner or your roommate.  Take the time to cook a meal for yourself.

Smile at a person walking down the street.

Smile at a homeless person and stop and learn their name. There is the gift of knowing someone. Of acknowledging you care.

Be kind to yourself.

Get in bed early.

Say three gratefuls before you fall asleep.

Say three gratefuls when you wake up.

Believe today is special.

Take time at lunch to be grateful for three more things.

Pay the phone bill for your roommate.

Drop off banana bread for your neighbor.

Give a lot. Expect little.

Smile at yourself in the mirror.

Work hard and attain the gift of devotion to something you believe in.

Work and leave early and give yourself a gentle night off, nurturing yourself.

Stop and look at nature. Any part of nature. The expanse of the sky; drifting clouds; a vibrant flower.

Give yourself the gift of awareness of how precious and beautiful life is every day.

The Team Performs Better When You’re On The Court- A Story of Leadership

What True Coaching Is

 Coaching is one of the most important things that you can do in life. First, we think of coaches for a swim league or tennis club, badminton, or lacrosse. Yet coaching comes in many forms.

Coaching happens at every stage of life!

Let’s take a look at some excellent coaching.

Check out this video on Steve Kerr, Head Coach of the Warriors—he’s coaching star player Steph Curry on the bench. Curry usually has a 47.7% percentage field goal shot and 43.6% percentage success rate on a 3-point field. Curry holds the all-time record for most 3-pointers in a single season. That’s really impressive. Yet Curry’s shots weren’t going in.

Curry was having a rough night. What do you say to a super star when the going gets rough?

 

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Kerr teaches us to take the long view.

 

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In this video, he talks to Curry about not just his shot—but his overall impact on the team. If you focus only on the numbers, you’re going to miss the bigger impact. Kerr shows Curry his numbers.

 

“You might not be hitting all your shots tonight, but I want you to look at the stat. When you’re on the court, you make the whole team better. The whole team rises to another level.”

 

What Coach Kerr is saying is that,

“Your shot isn’t the only thing most valuable to me. Your teamwork is valuable. The way you inspire others is valuable. So much so, that when I look at the overall team stats, they perform better when you’re on the court—whether or not you make your shots.”

 

Do you have a team member like this? Maybe they didn’t make all of their shots today, maybe they made some spelling errors or made a mistake. But ask yourself another question: Did they make your team better? Did they exemplify your values? Did they uplift the team? And do they contribute in other ways?

 

Don’t give up on coaching just because someone doesn’t perform as well as you’d like them to or as well as they can. We are active, caring, growing beings, not born perfectionists.

 

Look at the whole person, look at their whole contribution, and tell them how important they are to you. Only then, can you help them become even better. That’s true coaching.

 

Get them back on the court and cheer them on.

 


 

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Stephen (Steph) Curry is a professional basketball player, who is well known for leading the Golden State Warriors to National Basketball Association (NBA) championships in 2015, 2017 and 2018. Prior to the NBA, Curry attended Davidson College in North Carolina, where he majored in sociology. He’s married to childhood friend, Ayesha Curry who is a professional chef with her own cooking show. Together, they have three young children—Riley, Ryan, and Canon Curry.

 

Stephen Kerr is a professional basketball coach and former player of the National Basketball Association (NBA). He has been the Head Coach for the Golden State Warriors through their last three championships. As a player, he won five championships titles before he retired and became a sports television analyst. He’s married to his college sweetheart, Margot Kerr. Together, they have three children—Nick, Maddy, and Matthew Kerr.

 

1Allison, K. (2016, February 3). Stephen Curry Dribbling 2016 (cropped) [Digital image]. Retrieved from https://www.flickr.com/photos/keithallison/24689550742/

2 Cox, B. (2013, December 14). [Billy Cox Quote]. Retrieved from https://twitter.com/Billy_Cox/status/412037613998977024