Tag Archives: understanding

The Classic Pamela Positive: When You’re at the Table, You’re Open and Your Defenses Are Down

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“People want that gathering together. The table is magical. When you’re at the table, you’re open and your defenses are down.” – Lidia Bastianich, host of PBS “Lidia’s Italy”

Mealtimes seem to be a time of the past. We eat in our cars and desks or even holding a powerbar walking out the door… and yet Lidia points out how we can find deep caring and nourishment at the table.  It’s not just sharing food, but also sharing of our hearts and feelings.  It’s a time to be a sounding board and to have sounding boards…from people who truly care about you.  It’s a time to relax, and yet also profound as some of the most important issues in your life may come out in a casual way.

Don’t miss this time with your loved ones.  “The table is magical.”  Or I might add  “The people at the table are magical.”

Lidia Matticchio Bastianich (born on February 21, 1947, in Pula, Croatia–then a part of Italy), is an American chef, television host, author, and restaurateur.  Specializing in Italian and Italian-American cuisine, Lidia has been a regular contributor to public television cooking show lineups since 1998. In 2011, she launched her fourth TV series Lidia’s Italy in America. She also owns several Italian restaurants in the U.S. in partnership with her daughter Tanya Bastianich Manuali and her son, Joe Bastianich, including Felidia (founded with her ex-husband, Felice), Del Posto, Esca, and Becco in Manhattan; Lidia’s Pittsburgh in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; and Lidia’s Kansas City in Kansas City, Missouri.

Bio Source: Wikipedia

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The Classic Pamela Positive: “Ignorance of Certain Subjects Is a Great Part of Wisdom.”

“Ignorance of certain subjects is a great part of wisdom.” –Hugo de Groot

Ignorance is Good.

Ignorance of gossip. Ignorance of unnecessary negative thoughts. Ignorance of self-doubting thoughts, and ignorance of unhelpful suggestions which come to our thoughts. A lot of these thoughts are just not true…. and don’t find yourself accepting them as part of your normal experience.

We all go through a tough day. Yet we need to defend our thoughts, and therefore our life. Our life is based upon our thought. What you think will come through to fruition… It does not mean we ignore life lessons, a candid talk with ourselves; and at times, gently with others; it does not mean everything is perfect.

But in general, we pursue being, doing and recognizing good.

Hugo de Groot (1583-1645), also called Hugo Grotius, was a philosopher and a theologian, and worked as a jurist in the Dutch Republic.  He was extremely influential in the creation of international law.  He wrote a number of books, including On the Law of War and Peace, addressing subjects such as just wars and rules to govern conflict.  His overall purpose was to urge restraint in rushing to war, and to urge reasonable conduct once war was engaged.

The Classic Pamela Positive: Do It Anyway

Do It Anyway

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

This poem is widely attributed to Mother Teresa, after it was found hanging on a wall in her home for children in Calcutta.  It is a revised version of “The Paradoxical Commandments,” written by Dr. Kent M. Keith.  You can read more about the story on our UniversalGiving blog, PhilanthroPost.

The Classic Pamela Positive: Thoughts on Kindness and Battle

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“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.”

This quote is often attributed to Philo of Alexandria. Philo was a Hellenistic Jewish philosopher who lived from 20 BC to 50 AD. This quote is also sometimes cited to Plato, a classical Greek philosopher who was the student of Socrates and the teacher of Aristotle. I received this great quote from a wonderful academic leader at USC, Warren Bennis. I was sharing my mission and values with Dr. Bennis, and he provided this quote as helpful guidance. I met Dr. Bennis when I was inducted into his leadership institute while getting my masters in communications. His demeanor is warm, kind, astute and constantly open to new trends and progress in our society. Dr. Bennis, thank you for this meaningful quote!

Classic Pamela Positive: Communicate With More Than Words

A photo by Dogancan Ozturan. unsplash.com/photos/94taEmdowRw

It is so amazing to me that when we communicate, the words really ‘come in third place.’

What’s first and second? First is the tone. If we are abrasive, affrontive, sarcastic then it doesn’t open up the conversation and action for change. Calm, proactive, inclusive, even — “slow” — conversations help provide dynamic change. It sounds as if it is an oxymoron. But allowing the participants to breathe in the interaction helps bring about the best and most inclusive solutions for all parties.

Second then is body language and what we communicate; third come the words.

The Pamela Positive: The Importance of “Yes And”

When on the improv stage, one of the most important principles is listening to and supporting your partner.  If you do this, you help create a very strong sense of team, and also further the story in a way that is interesting to the audience.  For example, if someone says, “let’s go to the store,” you can “yes and” it by saying, “wonderful, I love JZ’s store, because it has such great record memorabilia that dates back to the fifties!”  What you have done is “yes and-ed” your partner.  You have essentially built on the first concept they introduced, a store.

Contrary to good improv, one could have done a “yes but.”  For example, “Okay, that store is fine, but I really want to go to the movies.”  That is denying your partner on stage, and invalidating their idea.  You are not building on their initial idea, nor are you moving the story forward.  You’ve essentially blocked them.  Your story has now halted, and your partner does not necessarily feel supported.  This is the importance of “yes and-ing” rather than “yes but-ing.”

Whether you’re an investor, an improviser on the stage, leading a team at a company, or a soccer captain, we can all practice the glory of “yes and-ing” one another.  If we do so, we will build a beautiful and strong world based on a foundation of supporting wins for everyone, all around.

The Pamela Positive: Listening – A Business Bliss

When getting involved internationally, it’s so important to listen to others. Respect the person, the culture, and their local community.  To do so is to honor the unique wisdom and presence they bring to the world.

Listening, and striving to understand other people, is the right thing to do. It will also open your business up to new opportunities. When you honor people and their local customs, they will want to work with you.  And you will love working with them!  Listening is mirrored in Respect,  which is a type of “business bliss.”