Tag Archives: relationships

The Grass Is Greenest Where You Water It

rice-field-387715_640“The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth – i.e. someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.”

-Mitch Temple

Get inspired by the latest AUDIO version of this blog!

Let’s be focused on how green we can make our grass!

Truly wouldn’t that be lovely?  If we all focused on what we have — the wonderful family or our friends who are like family; the job, or the opportunity to explore something new; the husband or the opportunity to date and find the right person – what a joy-filled world we would have!  And a joyful world starts with each one of our own little worlds. Continue reading

Why Certain People Are In Your Life

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These words have been inspiring to me, and I am glad to share them with you.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.  They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.  They may seem like a godsend, and they are.  They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.  Sometimes they die.  Sometimes they walk away.  Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.  What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.  The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.  They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.  They may teach you something you have never done.  They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.  Believe it!  It is real!  But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.  Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person (any way); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.  It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown

“You have to get people talking the same language before you get them around the table” – Pakzan Dastoor

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“You have to get people talking the same language before you get them around the table” – Pakzan Dastoor

What a wonderful insight from the Dasra Foundation!

Dasra is an innovative foundation working on extreme social change in India.  I just heard them speak at an amazing conference at Stanford focusing on Indian philanthropy. Local Indians and Silicon Valley Indian entrepreneurs gathered together to discuss how to give intelligently.

Dasra’s strategic approach to social problems has dramatically increased the impact and scale of social change in India.  They helped take nearly 1000 nonprofits and socially conscious businesses to the next level. They have more than 28 research reports ranging from adolescent girls’ empowerment to child malnutrition and sports for development.

And Pakzan is right.   The Advisory Leader of Dasra knows that we need to collaborate, listen, and support one another in order to achieve true success.

So the “right language” is not really about a dialect.  It’s about our motivations.

Before we come to the table, we need to be on the same page.   That means our motives and aspirations are aligned.   Then we are really listening!  And the conversation builds to higher levels to serve the world, our communities and our partnerships.

Are you facing a challenge in philanthropy today? Or how about your own life?

We can take Pakzan’s advice.   Let’s slow down. We can make sure we are listening.   Are we speaking the same language? You might both be speaking Hindi.  But if you don’t have the same values, your words will blow right one another.

To truly scale we must have the same values.      

We can be great social innovators, communicators and doers by speaking the same language: Listen, love and support your partner.


As India’s leading strategic philanthropy foundation, Dasra actively shapes the process of social change by forming powerful partnerships with funders and social enterprises. In the past 15 years, Dasra has been working towards building a ‘thriving ecosystem’ that enables knowledge creation, capacity building, strategic funding, and collaboration in order to touch and transform the lives of 800 million Indians. 

A CEO’s Thank You To A Precious Team Member

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Germaine & Pamela

In November of 2015, UniversalGiving celebrated a wonderful milestone.

We celebrated matching 10,000 volunteers with global service projects, all over the world.
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The Event

That means people were giving of their time by saving an elephant habitat in Thailand, cleaning up a river in Peru, and serving women in microfinance in Tanzania.
More than 10,000 people gave their time, creating more than $31 million dollars worth of value for our communities. 
We celebrated a very special event with all our team, supporters, and NGOs leaders. It was a night of joy and inspiration that makes up UniversalGiving’s  special community.
So many people helped make it happen… and one in particular was Germaine Lau, who was the Event Lead.  Below is my tribute to her from my voicemail to her and her family.

Hello Germaine Lau Family,

Oh my goodness, I cannot thank you enough for last night! That was just amazing. Germaine, as you know I told you two months ago, I said, whatever the event is, I am already happy and so grateful. You’ve done an amazing job and I know it. 

You are so talented and you have an amazing design. You have an incredible sense of sophistication and kindness and I am so grateful to have you on my team. You are becoming such a stellar professional. As you know this, I esteem you very highly. I just wanted to thank you all so much for all the sincere effort that you’ve put into this event. Such a beautiful design and professional work. I told you that two years ago, you have such a talent here, your amazing. Stay humble, but you are doing amazing things and lets get you in charge of some design for UniversalGiving. It is just beautiful. Thank you so much. 

I want to thank the Lau family for all your effort and work. Mrs. Lau’s friends who provided such generous donations on the tennis front, what a great showing that was! The prizes we had, those were significant, and thank you, thank you, thank you!

I want to thank you all, for Mrs. Lau bringing in the food, Germaine, to thank your dentist, we need to get a lot of thank you notes out! So thank you very much to the Lau family for all your help, Germaine, your brother coming out and helping. It was just such a successful event! It was a gift to the world, a gift to the community, a gift to the UniversalGiving team, a gift to me, and a gift to my parents. Thank you so much to all of you, the world takes a family, a lot of families, to help make it run. 

Much love and much gratitude to all of you. Have a joyous day and please know how much that event meant to me. I’ve asked Germaine to pass this on to you and I hope you know how much I appreciate it!

I look forward to seeing you all soon,

Thank you!”

“Everyone Communicates, Few Connect”

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“I was trying to get ahead by correcting others when I should have been trying to connect with others”

– Jim Collins, Good to Great, pg. 29.

If you are a busy leader… you might fall into this trap.

We need to get things done. And with a significant proposal or partnership, you might need to correct someone working for you.

Connect with them first. Try to slow down, or tell them that the deadline is next week. You can tell them how much you enjoy their work, or even make them laugh.

Then the work flows so much easier, so much more naturally. And life and work is more enjoyable too!

Connect… then correct.

Or perhaps even better…

          Connect and recommend, adjust, ask… for their advice… work with them.

Kindhearted teamwork (even when we are under significant pressure) is the right way to go.

***
This quote is from “Good to Great,” a best-selling book published in 2001 by James C. Collins. This book aims to help readers understand why and how some companies go from being good to being great as was a tremendous success. He has published many well-known books that deal with successful companies, sustainability, and leadership.
Aside from being a respected writer, James Collins is an American businessman and consultant advising firms in the profit and nonprofit sectors, such as The Girl Scouts of the USA and the US Marine Corps. He is married to Ironman winner and accomplished triathlete, Joanne Ernst. He believes that “Greatness is not a function of circumstance. Greatness is largely a matter of conscious choice and discipline.” Click here to be redirected to the “Good to Great Diagnostic Tool” where you can learn about to how to start your personal path to greatness.

Love: Vulnerability Balanced with Courage

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 “I have learned about love. Love should be easy, free in connection; work, wonderfully so, as in investment; vulnerability balanced with courage, and always undergirded with trust. It should be grace, graced and grateful. It should uplift you.”

Love – we feel it, we know it, we believe in it. And I think it truly is indispensable.. we can’t live without it. As we peel away the layers of love… one I’d like to cover today is:

Vulnerability Balanced with Courage.

Love isn’t always easy for we must be open.  Are you willing to love even if you are hurt?

Because a relationship didn’t work the way you’d prefer… or a church committee member spoke harshly to you… your idea got shot down at work or a precious pet ascended to heaven…

I know… it hurts… of course it does…

So be gentle with yourself, first.

But dear leader – we have to have the courage to soften our hearts, stay receptive, and be open to love at all times.  And yes, that is at home and work.

This allows us to give the most to the world, and to ourselves.

Yes, at all times.

I know that might be hard to hear… Hang in there…

So there may be something that shut you down recently. Well, it’s time to unshutter the door and open back up. Take your heart out of the basement, or release your self-imposed sequestration in the attic.🙂

Let’s be those loving, beautiful individuals, who deserve to receive and give love. And other people need it too!

Remember, to receive the benefit of love, we have to have courage.

“Love is Vulnerability Balanced with Courage.”

–Sunday, November 29th, 1998. 10:20pm.

***

Pamela Hawley is the founder and CEO of UniversalGiving, an award-winning nonprofit helping people to donate and volunteer with top-performing, vetted organizations all over the world. Unique to UniversalGiving, 100% of all donations go directly to the cause.

Pamela is a winner of the Jefferson Award (the Nobel Prize in Community Service) and has been invited three times to the White House. Pamela was a finalist for Ernst and Young’s Entrepreneur of the Year Award and is an Expert Blogger for Fast Company and CSRWire. She is a philanthropy expert for the new TV show, Billions Rising.

Pamela is also an accomplished actress, improviser, dancer, and singer with over 100 performances in San Francisco, New York, and Los Angeles. She is trained by The Groundlings, a graduate of Upright Citizens Brigade, at advanced level Second City Los Angeles, and a BATS improv player. Pamela donates a portion of every show’s proceeds to UniversalGiving.

“Our trials bloom in blessings”

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Our trials bloom in blessings,

they test our constancy.

O life from joy is minted,

an ever lasting gold.

True gladness is the treasure,

that grateful hearts will hold.

This is from hymn 249 from the Christan Science Hymnal.

It’s a hymn that my mother loves and that she shared with me.

What I love about this is that despite any challenge, we know that from it will bloom a blessing.

And if we have a grateful heart and hold to this, we’ll realize it.

So that’s what we’re going to hold to today, dear reader, despite whatever challenge we’re facing.

We’re going to hold to that gratitude and knowing that blessing will come.

Have a wonderful day!

– Pamela