Tag Archives: relationships

The Classic Pamela Positive: The Most Positive Things You Can Say

all_there_is

Here are the top things you can say to make a relationship work, from All There Is:

You look great.

Can I help?

Let’s eat out.

I was wrong.

I am sorry.

I love you.

 —✶—

Say Something Positive Today!!

All There Is by Dave Isay grew from the StoryCorps initiative, a project to record the oral histories of individuals.  StoryCorps has collected stories from more than 75,000 people, in an attempt to record the history of people who rarely appear in history books.  In 2010, Isay published another book from StoryCorps stories, Mom: A Celebration of Mothers from StoryCorps.  All There Is celebrates love, with heartwarming stories from real couples.  Leroy A. Morgan contributed the list quoted above.

“Look Deeply and Recognize the Real Enemy.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

TNH-Featured-full-height.jpg

“If I can say anything to you, it is to invite you to look deeply and recognize the real enemy. The enemy is not a person. That enemy is a way of thinking that has brought a lot of suffering for everyone.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh

Anything negative — is not from a person.
Radical thinking?  It shouldn’t be. If we view the enemy as simply a thought and not a person, we depersonalize it. It’s temporary, changeable. And we allow the person to grow beyond it, rather than be it.

We can then eliminate personal offense, and work constructively towards a solution.

Look at the Why

If something seems to be negative, we can encourage ourselves to look at “the why.” Why might someone think, or take action, in this way? This offers us an opportunity to develop empathy. Perhaps this person—let’s call her Jeanine—came from a difficult circumstance or has been hurt.

It’s not Jeanine who is “bad,” but the experiences which occurred in her life which impacted her.  It’s those events that led to the thinking and action behind negativity.

So Jeanine’s identity is not “Prejudice”, “Anger” or “Hurt”:

It’s instead:

The most beautiful thing about this is the following.

She can change.

Allow her to do so. Wouldn’t we all wish to be forgiven for a past action?

Every day we can begin again. We can embrace a new experience, a fresh purity, allowing us and others to live to our fullest.

Thich Nhat Hanh is a Buddhist monk and Zen master.  He is a well-known poet, writer and peace activist.  A native of Vietnam, during the Vietnam War he helped found the “engaged Buddhism” movement, combining the contemplative practice of the monastery with active ministry to victims of the conflict.  He founded the School of Youth Social Service, a Buddhist University, a publishing house, and a Vietnamese peace activist magazine.

During a trip to the United States, Thich Nhat Hanh persuaded Martin Luther King, Jr. to publicly oppose the Vietnam War; King subsequently nominated him for a Nobel Peace Prize. Thich Nhat Hanh led the Buddhist delegation to the Paris Peace Talks.

Thich Nhat Hanh is the author of more than 85 books on mindfulness and peace. He founded the Plum Village community in France, a Buddhist community in exile. He continues to live and work at the Plum Village, and leads retreats worldwide on “the art of mindful living.”

“Be prepared to fall in love all over again every day.”- Michael J. Fox

“Be prepared to fall in love all over again every day.”- Michael J. Fox

This is true for every relationship. Whether it is your husband, partner, friend, calling in life, your labrador, or the beautiful sun we greet each day, be prepared… to fall in love again.

Appreciating all we have is the most wonderful, nurturing gift we can wrap for ourselves, others and the world.  It envelops everything in the giftwrap of love.

Michael J. Fox is an actor and activist.  He has appeared in iconic roles including Marty McFly in Back to the Future and Alex P. Keaton in the TV show Family Ties.  He was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in 1991, revealing his condition publicly in 1998.  Since then he has been a powerful activist promoting research for a cure.  He has been married to actress Tracy Pollan since 1988, and they have four children.  Fox is also the author of three books, including the memoir, Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist.

The Classic Pamela Positive: Happiness: “Spending Time with People You Love and Who Love You”

“It is only a slight exaggeration to say that happiness is the experience of spending time with people you love and who love you.” –Daniel Kahneman, nobel laureate

Gifts and giving.  We associate so much of that with happiness.  Yet our one true Happiness is Loving Others. Oh, that sweet presence to just be around those we cherish and feel at home with!

Daniel Kahneman is an Israeli-American psychologist and Nobel laureate.  He is known for his work in the psychology of decision-making.  He was born in Tel Aviv, spent his childhood in France, and moved to Israel in the late 1940s.  He studied psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, and began his career as a lecturer there.  Kahneman has published extensively in psychology, and received the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economics in 2002 for his work on prospect theory.  He is currently on the faculty at Princeton.

The Pamela Positive: “A Smile Is a Blessing.” – Mpho Tutu

mphotutumagnusaronson.jpg

A smile is a blessing…It really doesn’t take that much to live into our blessing and make the world better for each person we encounter during our day.” 

This quote is from Mpho Tutu, the daughter of Archbishop Desmond Tutu and an ordained minister herself.  She was quoted in the Christian Science Sentinel, in an article discussing her and her father’s new book, Made for Goodness.  She also said that they hope the book will help people to “recognize in themselves their own innate goodness.”

How can we each be a blessing to another person today?

The Classic Pamela Positive: Celebrate True Wealth

team-386673_1280.jpg

Wealth is a state of mind and life. We tend to associate poverty with money. But poverty can be mental, emotional or spiritual poverty. I am often struck by this in my travel and volunteering in developing nations. Often, the divorce rates are low. Families not only stay together, but also spend time together. They gather food from the fields together, cook together and share meals together.

Contrast us: 15 minute family dinners if we are lucky. Fast-food and food distanced from its natural base. We eat alone; we eat in our cars. Divorces are easier to get, and in our mind it can be easier to allow those thoughts in as a possibility, rather than work through critical issues. So we lose the connection to family. We lose the connection to the local farm. We can lose the connection to long-term commitment.

We lose our greatest asset in natural wealth: relationships. Relationships with ourselves, our families, the earth. This wealth creates happy, balanced, productive, lower stress lifestyles, because we are connected in the way we are meant to be.

Further, we often pass by our heritage and where we come from. In many emerging nations, and especially in the continent of Africa, we see tribes value their connection to their heritage as primary importance even above their nationality. There is a deep-rooted connection to rituals and history which keeps people grounded in who they are, and the deeper, long-term meaning of being a part of a larger community in their lives.

Poverty is about money, at times. It has to be addressed as people should have the opportunity to live productive lives and make choices about what they would like to devote their lives to. Poverty is also about our well-being. Often when we get beyond “money poverty,” we forget “well-being poverty,” and get trapped in a go-go-go consumer culture.

I hope we can celebrate the healthy wealth that is accessible to us all in positive, committed relationships with ourselves, one another, our families, our earth, our communities and our heritage. How wonderful this is available to us all.

The Good Trade: How to Give Back When You’re Short on Cash Part I

In August, The Good Trade, a website that promotes brands, items, and ideas dedicated to social good, published our article about how to give when you’re strapped for cash.
♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~

Giving Back Doesn’t Have To Involve Money

The global economy is a rollercoaster. China’s growth rate goes down 6%, Brexit occurs and global warming is at its worst with record breaking global temperatures. The world feels as if it is in turmoil. On top of that you’re worried about job security or paying back student loans, and charitable giving seems like a secondary priority. Don’t lose heart. Giving back and making a difference doesn’t have to break the bank.  Here are some low cost and meaningful ways to give.

 

1. CULTIVATE AN ATTITUDE OF ABUNDANCE

First, let’s start with our minds. Be courageous and realize that you have more than you think. If you have a bed, shelter, clothing, a job, and family or friends, then you are in a very “wealthy” state. Understanding your own abundance will allow you to see how much you actually have. 

Go over the positives in your life. Write down heartfelt quotes that inspire you. As you fill yourself up with this goodness, you will be able to give to others. This gratitude will not only make us feel happier, but also keep our hearts healthier.

2. PICK UP THE PHONE 

Instead of being constantly worried about where our world is going, why not pick up the phone and find out how someone else is doing? Forget your concerns for a moment. Instead of calling someone to vent, why not call them to tell them you care?

Calling someone “for no reason” is an important opportunity show them that you are thinking of them. You are taking time out of your busy day to reach out. Everyone needs someone to just listen sometimes. They may be filled with joy or sadness. Be there to celebrate their good news, or support them with compassion.

A side benefit to you is that people who have satisfying relationships with family, friends and their community are happier, have fewer health problems and live longer. Remember, listening does not cost anything financially, and look at the good you are doing!

♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~♦~

Stay tuned this Friday to see other ways to give when your wallet is slim!

Can’t wait until Friday? Click here for the full article!