Tag Archives: One-on-One Relationships

The Classic Pamela Positive: Be Prepared to Be Kind

 

Be Prepared. That’s the motto of the Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts.

When you think about it, being prepared is not just for wilderness trips. And while being prepared often means having savings, storing water for an earthquake or natural disaster, and keeping a flashlight in your car, it also means being prepared qualitatively. It’s about being prepared to react with positive qualities, in your day to day life.

 

group of people in white and green uniforms

 

It’s all about what you hold, store and prepare within yourself.

So be prepared to be kind.

Some days you may not receive pleasant news. Will you react in anger, distrust, sadness, gloom? Or will you respond with patience, a willingness to see all sides and the realization that all things are truly working towards a greater good?

 

woman hug each other

 

Set yourself to react kindly. That means both to yourself and others. Don’t come down hard on yourself; don’t come down hard on others. Be understanding.

Be prepared to be kind. It’s the ultimate preparation.

 


Girl Scouts: Girl Scouts of the USA is the world’s preeminent organization dedicated solely to girls—all girls—where, in an accepting and nurturing environment, girls build character and skills for success in the real world. In partnership with committed adult volunteers, girls develop qualities that will serve them all their lives, like leadership, strong values, social conscience, and conviction about their own potential and self-worth.

Boy Scouts: The Boy Scouts of America is one of the nation’s largest and most prominent values-based youth development organizations. The BSA provides a program for young people that builds character, trains them in the responsibilities of participating citizenship, and develops personal fitness.

Bio Source: Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts of America  Fig¹. Kevia Tan on Unsplash  Fig². Hian Oliveira on Unsplash  

The Classic Pamela Positive: Be Prepared to Be Kind

 

Be Prepared. That’s the motto of the Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts.

When you think about it, being prepared is not just for wilderness trips. And while being prepared often means having savings, storing water for an earthquake or natural disaster, and keeping a flashlight in your car, it also means being prepared qualitatively. It’s about being prepared to react with positive qualities, in your day to day life.

 

 

andrea-tummons-448834-unsplash.jpg

 

 

It’s all about what you hold, store and prepare within yourself.

So be prepared to be kind.

Some days you may not receive pleasant news. Will you react in anger, distrust, sadness, gloom? Or will you respond with patience, a willingness to see all sides and the realization that all things are truly working towards a greater good?

 

 

yingchou-han-170404-unsplash.jpg

 

 

Set yourself to react kindly. That means both to yourself and others. Don’t come down hard on yourself; don’t come down hard on others. Be understanding.

Be prepared to be kind. It’s the ultimate preparation.

 

 

*****

 

Girl Scouts:

Girl Scouts of the USA is the world’s preeminent organization dedicated solely to girls—all girls—where, in an accepting and nurturing environment, girls build character and skills for success in the real world. In partnership with committed adult volunteers, girls develop qualities that will serve them all their lives, like leadership, strong values, social conscience, and conviction about their own potential and self-worth. http://www.girlscouts.org/

Boy Scouts:

The Boy Scouts of America is one of the nation’s largest and most prominent values-based youth development organizations. The BSA provides a program for young people that builds character, trains them in the responsibilities of participating citizenship, and develops personal fitness. http://www.scouting.org/

The Importance of Relationships

The Power of a Relationship. 

Today, I’d like to talk about the importance of a full relationship. Often, we think about someone being in our life for one, single reason.  But that’s not actually true.

In fact, every conversation, every relationship affects dozens, even thousands, of other people.  That’s right, thousands.  

unnamed.jpg

When we talk to someone, we affect them. We might ask them to do something.  That affects someone else, or even a group of people.   Even our tone can affect them: If you’re down, they might feel it. If you’re positive, you might lead them to a more peaceful state of mind.   How you affect them will affect how they treat the next person.  Every conversation is part of a chain for good, or stress, of joy or negativity.

You can make every relationship,  lead to something greater.  I want to give an example of that today.

I’ve known Chris Towle for more than 10 years. He is a significant funder of ours. But he didn’t start out as a funder.

bag-and-hands.jpg

I like creating relationships that relate to the whole person.  This is because I want to have a long-term relationship with them, which is based on them and not just money. After years of watching us, Chris donated from his family foundation, and then in subsequent years, donated stock.  So I don’t usually start fundraising from people after two or three years; then they know I value them for who they are.  Sometimes, I don’t even have to ask; they just give.

The relationship now extends into positive marketing for UniversalGiving. Chris and his wife are involved in Principia, where they invited us to speak at a conference. So you can see we’re building a long-term relationship, attaining funding, getting his company involved to give funding, and also helping with marketing. This isn’t just about a funding request.

I encourage you to think about this. How can your build positive relationships that go further than one person?

Let’s take a look at companies.  If you’re trying to attain a new client, is it just about closing a new deal?  Absolutely not.

First, it’s great to have a positive client.  That’s wonderful.  You can add to that.  We have such a positive relationship with Cisco, that former Cisco employees join UniversalGiving as a Returnee . How wonderful to get team members from Cisco!

Cisco_logo.svg.png

In addition, we can sell in our gift certificates to them: For the holidays or performance reviews, they provide gift certificates to their employees. Then, we both promote each other on social media; that’s marketing. So if you look at that, there’s a corporate contract, returnees, gift certificates, and increasing donations on our site.  Pretty spectacular!  That’s certainly beyond one conversation, one relationship.

photo-1468426925765-90c3a7b9e7c8.jpg

So as you move forward today, know that one conversation can lead to another.  This kind of mindset can build so much good for the future.   Are you stressed? It won’t draw more people to your cause.  Are you positive?  Then you can be grateful for the great partnership you have, and expand it.

Sincerely,

Pamela

 

One-on-One

Last week, I was at Duke University speaking to students and professors about Social Entrepreneurship and promoting Dear Pamela. Here is a thank you email I received from an inspired student and aspiring social innovator. At UniversalGiving, we always try to keep the one-on-one communication.

Krystelle really wanted to meet in person. She was so kind to come to the hotel before I left for the flight.  We had the most heartfelt conversation, and in French because she’s from Haiti!

Take the time for one-on-one.   Let’s be there for people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Ms. Pamela Hawley,

My name is Krystelle and today I heard you speak in Matt Nash’s social innovation class. I was captivated right away by your advice and genuinely enthusiastic presence and felt compelled to reach out to you – first to thank you for being such a strong force and role model as a woman accomplishing great things who in a matter of minutes made another young woman with big aspirations feel like anything is possible with the right mindset and plan. 

I also would like to ask if you would be willing to meet for a chat. I feel like I would be able to learn so much from hearing more about your journey as a social entrepreneur. I’m a senior at Duke this year and my heart is set on being a social entrepreneur. I would love to be able to talk to you about how you made it as I prepare myself to make the same kind of impact.

Thank you for speaking today and for inspiring me! I hope to meet with you soon.

Warmly,

Krystelle

The Pamela Positive: Be Prepared to Be Kind – now with the Audio Version!

We are happy to announce that this post now has an audio version! Happy listening!

 

Be Prepared.

That’s the motto of the Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts.

When you think about it, being prepared is not just for wilderness trips. And while being prepared often means having savings, storing water for an earthquake or natural disaster, and keeping a flashlight in your car, it also means being prepared qualitatively. It’s about being prepared to react with positive qualities, in your day to day life.

It’s all about what you hold, store and prepare with yourself.

So be prepared to be kind.

Some days you may not receive pleasant news. Will you react in anger, distrust, sadness, gloom? Or will you respond with patience, a willingness to see all sides and the realization that all things are truly working towards a greater good?

Set yourself to react kindly. That means both to yourself and others. Don’t come down hard on yourself; don’t come down hard on others. Be understanding.

Be prepared to be kind. It’s the ultimate preparation.

scouting-1555646_1920.jpg

Girl Scouts:

Girl Scouts of the USA is the world’s preeminent organization dedicated solely to girls—all girls—where, in an accepting and nurturing environment, girls build character and skills for success in the real world. In partnership with committed adult volunteers, girls develop qualities that will serve them all their lives, like leadership, strong values, social conscience, and conviction about their own potential and self-worth. http://www.girlscouts.org/

Boy Scouts:

The Boy Scouts of America is one of the nation’s largest and most prominent values-based youth development organizations. The BSA provides a program for young people that builds character, trains them in the responsibilities of participating citizenship, and develops personal fitness. http://www.scouting.org/

The Importance of Relationships

The Power of a Relationship. 

Today, I’d like to talk about the importance of a full relationship. Often, we think about someone being in our life for one, single reason.  But that’s not actually true.

In fact, every conversation, every relationship affects dozens, even thousands, of other people.  That’s right, thousands.  

unnamed.jpg

When we talk to someone, we affect them. We might ask them to do something.  That affects someone else, or even a group of people.   Even our tone can affect them: If you’re down, they might feel it. If you’re positive, you might lead them to a more peaceful state of mind.   How you affect them will affect how they treat the next person.  Every conversation is part of a chain for good, or stress, of joy or negativity.

You can make  every relationship,  lead to something greater.  I want to give an example of that today.

I’ve known Chris Towle for more than 10 years. He is a significant funder of ours. But he didn’t start out as a funder.

bag-and-hands.jpg

I like creating relationships that relate to the whole person.  This is because I want to have a long-term relationship with them, which is based on them and not just money. After years of watching us, Chris donated from his family foundation, and then in subsequent years, donated stock.  So I don’t usually start fundraising from people after two or three years; then they know I value them for who they are.  Sometimes, I don’t even have to ask; they just give.

The relationship now extends into positive marketing for UniversalGiving. Chris and his wife are involved in Principia, where they invited us to speak at a conference. So you can see we’re building a long-term relationship, attaining funding, getting his company involved to give funding, and also helping with marketing. This isn’t just about a funding request.

I encourage you to think about this. How can your build positive relationships that go further than one person?

Let’s take a look at companies.  If you’re trying to attain a new client, is it just about closing a new deal?  Absolutely not.

First, it’s great to have a positive client.  That’s wonderful.  You can add to that.  We have such a positive relationship with Cisco, that former Cisco employees join UniversalGiving as a Returnee . How wonderful to get team members from Cisco!

Cisco_logo.svg.png

In addition, we can sell in our gift certificates to them: For the holidays or performance reviews, they provide gift certificates to their employees. Then, we both promote each other on social media; that’s marketing. So if you look at that, there’s a corporate contracts, returnees, gift certificates, and increasing donations on our site.  Pretty spectacular!  That’s certainly beyond one conversation, one relationship.

photo-1468426925765-90c3a7b9e7c8.jpg

So as you move forward today, know that one conversation can lead to another.  This kind of mindset can build so much good for the future.   Are you stressed? It won’t draw more people to your cause.  Are you positive?  Then you can be grateful for the great partnership you have, and expand it.

Sincerely,

Pamela

 

Pamela’s Weekly Words of Wisdom: Why Volunteers, EDs and Boards All Start in the Same Place

 

close-up-18753_960_720

An article from Bridgestar titled “Starting Off on the Right Foot: How to Establish a Good ED-Board Relationship” explores what executive directors can do to lay the foundations for a solid relationship with board members. This started me thinking that developing a great relationship between a new ED and the Board actually starts with the same premise as volunteering.

What does a good volunteer have in common with a paid Executive Director or a professionally engaged Board?

Listening.

Everyone needs to listen.

Everyone wants to be heard.

Often I am asked by a volunteer before they go on a trip, “How do I need to be prepared?”

And the first thing I say is to be a good listener — Build Together.

In my first volunteer trip to Managua, Nicaragua, we were scheduled to build schools and dormitories. At that time, 90% of students in the community were not currently attending school. We jumped into the project with the villagers and finished the school — but ran out of materials for the dormitories. First instincts as Americans were to brainstorm every possible way to get it done. But access to resources was severely limited. As our Nicaraguan leader stated: “You Americans just want to complete things. We want to create and nourish relationships.”

As we let these words sink in, we truly began to connect and listen to this community. We learned about their life. We built relationships, played with their children, helped cook hundreds of tortillas over hot grills for hundreds of people in the community. We embraced their daily life, and the more we did, the closer the bonds of understanding and joy grew.

It is wonderful to go to another country, complete a volunteer project, and feel that you really had an impact. But establishing a relationship with the local people is by far the most important aspect of the volunteer trip. Building true, lasting relationships results in the greatest benefit for our world: fewer barriers are formed and increased understanding is achieved. We are all a team working together to face and resolve the challenges in our world.

It’s the same principle here. The Executive Director needs to listen and learn from the team, from the board, from the interns, the funders, the accountants, everyone. It’s an important time to understand how processes work, how operations occur, how different personalities and teams functions, how the values live themselves throughout the organization.

Equally, the board can listen and learn from the Executive Director. Once the ED has demonstrated the humility to honor current processes, and understand them thoroughly, there should be an openness to new ideas, new efficiencies, new styles, new communications, if they will help the goals of the organization.

Listening… allows everyone to feel heard. To be honored. It’s the cement building blocks of any good home, and, any good relationship. From there, innovation can spring forth and thrive.

Whomever you are, at whatever state you are in, listening is a great balm to establish and maintain an effective relationship. May listening help all of us in our day-to-days… I am constantly reminding myself, too!