Tag Archives: Kindness

The Classic Pamela Positive: “A Selfless Person Is More Concerned About the Happiness of Another…”

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“A selfless person is one who is more concerned about the happiness and well-being of another than about his or her own convenience or comfort, one who is willing to serve another when it is neither sought for nor appreciated, or one who is willing to serve even those whom he or she dislikes. A selfless person displays a willingness to sacrifice, a willingness to purge from his or her mind and heart personal wants, and needs, and feelings. Instead of reaching for and requiring praise and recognition for himself, or gratification of his or her own wants, the selfless person will meet these very human needs for others. ”

–H. Burke Peterson

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H. Burke Peterson was an authority in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and the author of “A Glimpse of Glory”.  In World War II, he fought with the American Navy in the Pacific theatre.  After the war, he attended the University of Arizona and went on to receive his masters at the Utah State Agricultural College. He was married to Brookie Carden in 1947, and they had five daughters.

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Love Many, Trust a Few, And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe”

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“Love Many, Trust a Few, And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe”
–Terri, from Coudersport, PA, as seen on Dark Chocolate Dove Wrapper

Terri has it right. What a joy to enjoy dark chocolate, which I love, with a truly inspired quote.

Life affords us so many ways to love, and how important we keep doing so. At the same time, we have to be careful, and so Trust, or entrusting ourselves to others, perhaps must be a bit more rare.  I wish it weren’t so… however, everyone is on their pathway of personal growth. So we must honor them, honor ourselves: We should always love, but not necessarily entrust to others.

As far as paddling one’s own canoe. As my Oma says, “You’d better put a little elbow grease into that.” She was always ensuring she had pulled her weight. In fact, when I went over to Oma’s for a sleepover as a young child, even at the age of 8 or 9, our fun together — was working together. We scrubbed the kitchen floor on hands and knees, sharpened pencils, and wrote up a list for the freezer so she knew what was in there. She taught me to care about being clean, ordered and organized, which made her home special. She made it fun. I loved working with my Oma.

 

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Terri, we thank you for a quote which has delighted us all!

The Classic Pamela Positive: Sticking with the Beauty of Loving Yourself and Others

In this article by fellow Fast Company blogger, Alicia Morga, advised: “Adopt the Cindy Crawford motto: no flaws…stick with the beauty of loving yourself and others.”

As Cindy Crawford says,

“Never point out your flaws, but do admit to your mistakes.”

 

What a powerful distinction.  Cindy is an accomplished wife, mother, businesswoman, spokesperson and model.  She’s demonstrated beauty in so many ways, specifically through her acumen, well-spoken manner, desire to make a beautiful life and home accessible to everyone, and most importantly, knowing that true, lasting beauty starts and comes from within.

Beauty is about trusting yourself, appreciating your unique qualities, just as we should for other people. It’s one of our greatest age old wisdoms, to love your neighbor as yourself.  And to love our neighbor as ourselves, we have to start with, yes, you and me.

 

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So, as Cindy advises, don’t point out areas of yourself that are weak. You might be working on those, and we all have areas of improvement. Do demonstrate your positive qualities of intellect, kindness, graciousness, honesty, selflessness. We recognize and celebrate these abundantly.

There will be a time, many times, when we all need to own up to mistakes or ways we can be better. Then we, with rapid fire, should admit our mistakes and, where necessary, apologize. Part of our beauty is cultivating caring, honest, open relationships where we admit where we could have been better. With this admittance comes strength and a more beautifully enduring relationship with others – and ourselves.

Truth is beauty. We start with the Truth of what is good about us and others. We stay with that until we find a time where we need to admit where we fell down. And we avoid simply putting others, or ourselves, down at all.

Stick with the Beauty of loving yourself and others.

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Cindy Crawford was a popular supermodel of the ’80s and ’90s. She was frequently featured on a number of magazines including Vogue, Elle, Cosmopolitan, and Allure. She has walked on the runway for many brands including Chanel, Valentino, and Christian Dior. She has also been involved in fitness campaigns, and appeared in TV, music videos, and movies.  Since retiring from modeling in 2000, she has been working on creating beauty products and home furnishings. 

When Crawford was ten, her three-year-old brother Jeff died of leukemia. Since then, a focal point of her charity work has been childhood leukemia research. She is an official supporter of the Ronald McDonald House Charities and an honorary committee member of the California Wildlife Center. She is married to fellow model, Rande Gerber and they have two children together. 

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Look Deeply and Recognize the Real Enemy” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“If I can say anything to you, it is to invite you to look deeply and recognize the real enemy. The enemy is not a person. That enemy is a way of thinking that has brought a lot of suffering for everyone.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh

Anything negative — is not from a person.

Radical thinking?  It shouldn’t be.   If we view the enemy as simply a thought and not a person, we depersonalize it.   It’s temporary, changeable.   And we allow the person to grow beyond it, rather than be it.

We can then eliminate personal offense, and work constructively towards a solution.

Look at the Why

If something seems to be negative, we can encourage ourselves to look at “the why.” Why might someone think, or take action, in this way?   This offers us an opportunity to develop empathy. Perhaps this person—let’s call her Jeanine—came from a difficult circumstance or has been hurt.

It’s not Jeanine who is “bad,” but the experiences which occurred in her life which impacted her.  It’s those events that led to the thinking and action behind negativity.

So Jeanine’s identity is not “Prejudice”, “Anger” or “Hurt”:

It’s instead:

The most beautiful thing about this is the following.

She can change.

Allow her to do so.  Wouldn’t we all wish to be forgiven for a past action?

Happy PeopleEvery day we can begin again.   We can embrace a fresh purity for each person in our lives, allowing us and others to lives to our fullest – with Love.

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Thich Nhat Hanh is a Buddhist monk and Zen master.  He is a well-known poet, writer and peace activist.  A native of Vietnam, during the Vietnam War he helped found the “engaged Buddhism” movement, combining the contemplative practice of the monastery with active ministry to victims of the conflict.  He founded the School of Youth Social Service, a Buddhist University, a publishing house, and a Vietnamese peace activist magazine.

During a trip to the United States, Thich Nhat Hanh persuaded Martin Luther King, Jr. to publicly oppose the Vietnam War; King subsequently nominated him for a Nobel Peace Prize.  Thich Nhat Hanh led the Buddhist delegation to the Paris Peace Talks.

Thich Nhat Hanh is the author of more than 85 books on mindfulness and peace.  He founded the Plum Village community in France, a Buddhist community in exile.   He continues to live and work at the Plum Village, and leads retreats worldwide on “the art of mindful living.”

The Pamela Positive: May Your Work Bring Just and Lasting Peace

President Lincoln advised us,

“Whatever work you are devoted to….may it bring just and lasting peace.”

 

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Our respected President Abraham Lincoln brought this to light in his 1865  Inaugural Address. What a calling for each of us to think on, as we go about our work each day, how it can bring “just and lasting peace.”  I think work here is not just our professional work, but any task to which we are devoting ourselves. Any project, endeavor, activity — from raising a child to decorating a Valentine’s Day wreath — can have kindness, justice and peace as a necessary ingredient to our performing of it.

President Lincoln says something instrumental here: As we strive for our goal, it should be peace brought between each one of us, and then also with all countries.

The point here is that gentle justice, no matter how small, and a caring, kind sense of peacefulness in all our interactions, both bring that sense of worldwide peace. And it must start with ourselves, our conversations, our actions between each person we meet. That’s a great calling for us in today’s world!

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Abraham Lincoln served as the 16th President of the United States during the Civil War. He was instrumental in ending slavery with his Emancipation Proclamation and is admired for his commitment to national unity, equal rights, liberty, and democracy in America. Lincoln was born in Hodgenville, Kentucky to a humble home; he was later elected to the Illinois state legislature (1834) before entering into the U.S. House of Representatives (1847) and then becoming President of the United States (1860). Lincoln’s bynames include those of “Honest Abe,” “the Rail-Splitter,” and “the Great Emancipator.”

The Classic Pamela Positive: Give A Gift Every Day

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Give a gift every day.

Send your friend’s birthday gift early.

See a gift that would be meaningful for someone you care about, and just buy it. Give it to them now.

Take the time to cook a meal for your partner or your roommate.  Take the time to cook a meal for yourself.

Smile at a person walking down the street.

Smile at a homeless person and stop and learn their name. There is the gift of knowing someone. Of acknowledging you care.

Be kind to yourself.

Get in bed early.

Say three gratefuls before you fall asleep.

Say three gratefuls when you wake up.

Believe today is special.

Take time at lunch to be grateful for three more things.

Pay the phone bill for your roommate.

Drop off banana bread for your neighbor.

Give a lot. Expect little.

Smile at yourself in the mirror.

Work hard and attain the gift of devotion to something you believe in.

Work and leave early and give yourself a gentle night off, nurturing yourself.

Stop and look at nature. Any part of nature. The expanse of the sky; drifting clouds; a vibrant flower.

Give yourself the gift of awareness of how precious and beautiful life is every day.

The Classic Pamela Positive: “I don’t think you ever stop giving.” —Oprah Winfrey

 

  “I don’t think you ever stop giving. I really don’t. I think it’s an on-going process. And it’s not just about being able to write a check. It’s being able to touch somebody’s life.” —Oprah Winfrey

 

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That’s what we are all here to do: Touch someone’s life today.  

Stop what you are doing, look up, and care about someone today. That might be the window washer, the barista at Peet’s, your mom, or the building manager.

 
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Everyone needs care, love, and attention. Touch someone’s life, right now.

How will you do it?

Touch a Life,

Pamela​

 

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Oprah Gail Winfrey was born on an isolated farm in Kosciusko, Mississippi, on January 29, 1954. Winfrey’s unmarried parents separated soon after she was born and left her in the care of her maternal grandmother on the farm. The poor, urban lifestyle had its negative effect on Winfrey as a young teenager. Winfrey said her father saved her life. He was very strict and provided her with guidance, structure, rules, and books. Winfrey became an excellent student.

Winfrey became Miss Black Nashville and Miss Tennessee. The Nashville Columbia Broadcasting System affiliate offered her a job; Winfrey turned it down twice, but finally took the advice of a speech teacher, who reminded her that job offers from CBS were “the reason people go to college.” Winfrey was Nashville’s first African American female co-anchor of the evening news. Her emotional ad-lib delivery eventually got her transferred to the daytime talk show arena, and after boosting a third-rated local Chicago talk show to first place, she launched her own production company and became internationally syndicated. By the mid-1990’s, she had reinvented her show with a focus on literature, self-improvement, and spirituality. Though criticized for unleashing a confession culture, promoting controversial self-help ideas, and an emotion-centered approach, she is often praised for overcoming adversity to become a benefactor to others.

Winfrey’s The Oprah Winfrey Show was hugely successful. It was broadcasted in 145 countries and had an average of 233,000 viewers in 2016. When her show first began, her audience was 55 percent larger than that of her closest competitors. Since its creation in 2000, O, The Oprah Magazine has become one of the most successful titles of the periodical press, its print run copies exceeding 2 million.

 

Photo credit: Pamela Littky for VARIETY