Tag Archives: friendships

The Pamela Positive: “When the Child Welcomes the Mother, the Mother Rushes Off to Her”

“When the child welcomes the mother, the mother rushes off to her”  – Deborah Santana

I am not someone who cancels meetings or dinners very often, simply because it’s something to reschedule and I like to stay committed.  And yet the main reason I will cancel – as would one of my cherished friends, Deborah Santana – is for family.

Deborah emailed me this morning that she needed to move our dinner because her daughter invited her to a weekend together in Seattle.  I love what she said, and it warmed my heart… “When the child welcomes the mother, the mother rushes off to her.”  A mother should go to her child first.

There is no more important reason in the world.

The Pamela Positive: Keep Your Balance

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I think one key point in life is to maintain balance–balance between time for work, time for loved ones, time for oneself, time for interests outside of one’s business. It’s so important to keep that balance, or we’ll simply burn-out.

I remember once when I was young in my career, and meeting with a fairly older, single woman. She was a successful venture capitalist. But I don’t know that I would consider her life successful. She traveled the world incessantly and was on every important board. But she seemed tired and joy was scarce. She told me to “Pack it all in.”

I didn’t. I kept my balance. I started a nonprofit and I did creative improv. I took care of my very young nephews and nieces. I loved life and I loved the people in my life.

We need to be renewed. We need to feel honored as whole, functioning people with families, outside interests, balanced lives, as well as our commitment to achieving the goals and vision of the organizations we run. The beauty of this balance is that I come back energized to UniversalGiving. My mind has had “time off” and is thrilled to re-engage with our efforts to serve. I look at challenges in a new light. My energy is renewed. I bring new skills to the table; my thoughts are stronger and more helpful. It’s better for me–and for my organization.

The Pamela Positive: “A Selfless Person Is More Concerned About the Happiness of Another…”

“A selfless person is one who is more concerned about the happiness and well-being of another than about his or her own convenience or comfort, one who is willing to serve another when it is neither sought for nor appreciated, or one who is willing to serve even those whom he or she dislikes. A selfless person displays a willingness to sacrifice, a willingness to purge from his or her mind and heart personal wants, and needs, and feelings. Instead of reaching for and requiring praise and recognition for himself, or gratification of his or her own wants, the selfless person will meet these very human needs for others. ”

–H. Burke Peterson

H. Burke Peterson is an authority in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and the author of A Glimpse of Glory.

The Classic Pamela Positive: To Have a Positive Mindset, Build Your Mind as You Would Your Dream Home

When you build a home, you have to have a vision. A vision of what you would like to create.  If you have a negative vision of your home then it certainly is not going to become a beautiful home! So we need to maintain that vision, even when the going gets rough. Even if you run out of brick. Even if the paint color didn’t match the way you wanted it to. Even if you have to fumigate!  Hold the vision, and keep striving for it.

So what has helped me during tough times is not just to focus on the positive, but on gratitude. Even in tough times there is something to be grateful for.  If you are having a hard time in sales and partnerships, perhaps you can be grateful you uplifted that potential client’s day with a positive smile or sincere compliment…

On an entirely different level…if a natural disaster has occurred, you can still be grateful that the sun came out, as, in many countries pollution, blocks the sun. That a friend is near. That people are caring and helping. Even in a crisis, and often especially in a crisis, the greatest goodness of people comes out.  We can find the good even when we don’t seem ‘to have or own much.’    True wealth comes from qualities of being loving, kind, sincere, genuine, giving. And how wonderful — that that wealth is available to each one of us, every moment.

“Be prepared to fall in love all over again every day.”- Michael J. Fox

“Be prepared to fall in love all over again every day.”- Michael J. Fox

This is true for every relationship. Whether it is your husband, partner, friend, calling in life, your labrador, or the beautiful sun we greet each day, be prepared… to fall in love again.

Appreciating all we have is the most wonderful, nurturing gift we can wrap for ourselves, others and the world.  It envelops everything in the giftwrap of love.

Michael J. Fox is an actor and activist.  He has appeared in iconic roles including Marty McFly in Back to the Future and Alex P. Keaton in the TV show Family Ties.  He was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in 1991, revealing his condition publicly in 1998.  Since then he has been a powerful activist promoting research for a cure.  He has been married to actress Tracy Pollan since 1988, and they have four children.  Fox is also the author of three books, including the memoir, Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist.

The Pamela Positive: Deal with the Complete Person – Zig Ziglar

Man is tridimensional (physical, mental, and spiritual). I deal with the complete person. This is the only way to have complete success.”  – Zig Ziglar

We can’t just deal with people from one viewpoint. We all have such important, varied qualities about us.  And that’s changing moment by moment….. and needs to be honored moment by moment.  Who the person is holistically, when honored, brings the greatest benefit to your relationship, your environment, your work, your home.

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Hilary Hinton “Zig” Ziglar is a motivational speaker, emphasizing Christian values and achieving success in all areas of life.  He is the author of nine books, including See You at the Top and Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World.

The Pamela Positive: How To Attain The Big H” (Happiness) Once Again

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Our culture is getting better. We are increasingly aware that money, homes, cars, jewelry, multiple choices of cereal and designer goods do not bring us happiness.  Or, it might be fleeting but not lasting happiness.

 

So how do we create and maintain “The Big H”?

Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s wise counsel was in one word: friendship.

It is our friendships, our sincere connections to people, which bring meaning, joy, and yes, “The Big H,” into our lives.

Said Mrs. Browning, the poet, to Charles Kingsley, the writer; “What is the secret of your happiness? Tell me, that I may enjoy the same.” Thinking a moment, the kindly old man replied, “I have a friend.”

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Elizabeth Barrett Browning was a popular poet of the Victorian era.  Her best-known poem opens “How Do I Love Thee, Let Me Count the Ways,” written to her husband, the poet Robert Browning.  Charles Kingsley was a clergyman, professor and writer, author of the children’s classic, The Water-Babies.