Tag Archives: friendship

The Classic Pamela Positive: “What’s Important to You Is Important to Me”

 

 

“What’s Important To You Is Important To Me”

 

 

grayscale photography of two boys hugging while laughing

 

 

This is one of my favorite statements.  It helps me understand and sincerely care about others.  When we truly listen to our family, friends, partners, team mates, improv players, then we can really hear…what’s important.

 

Sometimes it might be a clean kitchen.  For others, it might be taking the dog for a walk or getting the car cleaned.  Or it might be that you showed up at your daughter’s gymnastics recital. And sometimes, sitting down and listening to your boyfriend, while not multitasking and cleaning the dishes at the same time, may be the biggest sign of attention. It can even be as small as keeping your desk clean at work because you know it inspires your manager.

 

 

men's gray button-up shirt

 

 

The point is, we all fall into habits.  These habits are what are most comfortable, and convenient, for us.  They are our priorities. But they are not necessarily important to others.  Instead, we need to take a look at what motivates others.

 

So even if we can live with a messy desk, if we know the manager is inspired to see an ordered workspace, then we can try to rise to that new standard.  If it bothers our companion that we’re doing something else while he’s talking about a serious issue, then we need to stop and sit down, and give our undivided attention.  If it makes a difference to our mom that we check the stove one more time before we leave the kitchen, then we make her feel cared for, and can do it again.

 

 

gray kettle on range stove

 

 

These are the small and important ways that we can let someone know they are important to us.

 

It’s the Substance of what builds or breaks down any relationship.

 

Many of us have felt that overwhelmingly warm feeling when someone does something for us… It specifically hits our hearts.  “Ah…how grateful I am that they took out the recycling!  I love an ordered home…” It’s something that puts you at peace. And that positive energy allows you to give more.

 

 

brown wooden panel with white heart

 

 

“What’s Important to You is Important to Me.”

 

What a beautiful way to live…

 

 


Citations:

Fig¹. Aman Shrivastava on Unsplash

Fig². Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Fig³. Michael Browning on Unsplash

Fig⁴. Jamez Picard on Unsplash

The Classic Pamela Positive: “All the Other Things We Think Make Us Happy Are Actually Just Ways of Getting More Family and Friends.”

 

“We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends and almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends.”

 

– Daniel Todd Gilbert, psychologist

 

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Let’s be grateful for all the happiness in our lives today. To truly cherish family, call a long-lost friend, or spend less time on work — and more time on someone.  

All the ‘someones’ in our lives are what give us joy. Appreciate!

Love,

Pamela

 


 

Daniel Todd Gilbert (born November 5, 1957) is Professor of Psychology at Harvard University. He is a social psychologist known for his research (with Timothy Wilson of the University of Virginia) on affective forecasting, with a special emphasis on cognitive biases such as the impact bias. Gilbert authored Stumbling on Happiness, which won the 2007 Royal Society Prizes for Science Books, adding to his list of numerous awards for his teaching and research.  A high school dropout at age 19, he aspired to be a science fiction writer but when a creative writing class he wanted to take was full he took up psychology instead at University of Colorado Denver and Princeton University.  He also wrote essays that appeared in The New York Times and TIME, among others, and penned short stories that were published in Amazing Stories, Isaac Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine and many other magazines and anthologies. He is the co-writer and host of the NOVA television series “This Emotional Life.”  He and his wife Marilynn Oliphant live in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Bio source: Wikipedia: Daniel Gilbert (psychologist)

The Classic Pamela Positive: “What’s Important to You Is Important to Me”

 

Pamela’s Favorite…Pamela Positive

 

“What’s Important To You Is Important To Me”

 

 

girls-470679_640

 

 

This is one of my favorite statements.  It helps me understand and sincerely care about others.  When we truly listen to our family, friends, partners, team mates, improv players, then we can really hear…what’s important.

 

Sometimes it might be a clean kitchen.  For others, it might be taking the dog for a walk or getting the car cleaned.  Or it might be that you showed up at your daughter’s gymnastics recital. And sometimes, sitting down and listening to your boyfriend, while not multitasking and cleaning the dishes at the same time, may be the biggest sign of attention. It can even be as small as keeping your desk clean at work because you know it inspires your manager.

 

 

rawpixel-649910-unsplash.jpg

 

 

The point is, we all fall into habits.  These habits are what are most comfortable, and convenient, for us.  They are our priorities. But they are not necessarily important to others.  Instead, we need to take a look at what motivates others.

So even if we can live with a messy desk, if we know the manager is inspired to see an ordered workspace, then we can try to rise to that new standard.  If it bothers our companion that we’re doing something else while he’s talking about a serious issue, then we need to stop and sit down, and give our undivided attention.  If it makes a difference to our mom that we check the stove one more time before we leave the kitchen, then we make her feel cared for, and can do it again.

 

 

camylla-battani-794111-unsplash.jpg

 

 

These are the small and important ways that we can let someone know they are important to us.

It’s the Substance of what builds or breaks down any relationship.

Many of us have felt that overwhelmingly warm feeling when someone does something for us… It specifically hits our hearts.  “Ah…how grateful I am that they took out the recycling!  I love an ordered home…” It’s something that puts you at  peace. And that positive energy allows you to give more.

 

 

mel-poole-1088985-unsplash.jpg

 

 

“What’s Important to You is Important to Me.”

What a beautiful way to live…

The Classic Pamela Positive: “We Are Going To Get Through This”- Sheryl Sandberg

 

We are not going to say, “You are going to get through this”

but

We are going to get through this.”

 

“I learned the power of the word ‘we.’ Not saying to people, ‘You are going to get through this,’ but ‘We are going to get through this.’ That is such a different message, because it makes people feel less alone, and all of these forms of hardship, it’s not just the hardship itself but the isolation that comes with it. ‘We’ changes that.”

 

–       Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO, author, activist

 

What a beautiful quote from Sheryl Sandberg, who knows that hardships can’t be faced by themselves.

 

 

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People face tough events, such as Sheryl Sandberg, and losing her spouse and partner.  But other people face hardships in a different way.1 Did you know that more than 72% of the population is lonely? This is leading to an epidemic of people having psychological problems and breakdowns by not having the bonds of community, love, and feeling cherished.

 

 

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All of us need to know that when we are facing a changing time, that we have someone by our side.

 

priscilla-du-preez-972638-unsplash (1).jpg

 

 

There’s someone to hold our hand.

 

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You might be going through anxiety that makes your heart race and feel as if it’s going 20,000 beats per minute. Your husband might have just asked you for divorce. Your precious pet needs to get an operation. Or your son didn’t get into the elementary school that you’d hoped. Some of these may be major crises and some of these are “softer” crises, but they’re all things where we need a shoulder to shoulder approach.

Whose side can you stand by today?

Is there someone in your life who’s going through something that needs your help? Don’t let them go through it alone. Remember that we are going get through thisnot you are going to get through this.

 

Let’s do this together,

Pamela

 

*****

 

 

sandberg 1 (1)

 

 

Sheryl Sandberg is the chief operating officer (COO) of Facebook and founder women’s empowerment organization Lean In Foundation. She was born in Washington, D.C. and grew up in North Miami Beach, Florida. She was an exceptional student in high school, graduating top ten of her class and then went on to Harvard College. She studied economics at Harvard and graduated summa cum laude. She also received the John H. Williams Prize for top graduating student in economics. She would later attend Harvard Business School as well. Before moving to Facebook, Sandberg was vice president of global online sales and operations at Google, where she would help launch Google’s philanthropy program. In 2009, she was named one of the 25 most influential people on the web byBusiness Week. On their list of top 100 most powerful women in the world, Forbes has listed her as ninth in 2014 and fourth in 2017. She is a widow and she has two children.

 

 

Citations:
1 Lunardi, Stefano, “Feeling lonely? So are a lot of other people, survey finds”, CBS News, October 12, 2016, https://www.cbsnews.com/news/many-americans-are-lonely-survey-finds/
Fig. 1: Photo by Duy Pham on Unsplash
Fig. 2: Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash
Fig. 3: Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Fig. 4: Photo by Desiree Fawn on Unsplash
Fig. 5: Photo by Unknown on Forbes

 

 

The Pamela Positive: “What’s Important to You Is Important to Me”

Pamela’s Favorite…Pamela Positive

“What’s Important To You Is Important To Me”

This is one of my favorite statements.  It helps me understand and sincerely care about others.  When we truly listen to our family, friends, partners, team mates, improv players, then we can really hear…what’s important.

Sometimes it might be a clean kitchen.  For others, it might be taking the dog for a walk or getting the car cleaned.  Or it might be that you showed up at your daughter’s gymnastics recital. And sometimes, sitting down and listening to your boyfriend, while not multitasking and cleaning the dishes at the same time, may be the biggest sign of attention. It can even be as small as keeping your desk clean at work because you know it inspires your manager.

The point is, we all fall into habits.  These habits are what are most comfortable, and convenient, for us.  They are our priorities. But they are not necessarily important to others.  Instead, we need to take a look at what motivates others.

So even if we can live with a messy desk, if we know the manager is inspired to see an ordered workspace, then we can try to rise to that new standard.  If it bothers our companion that we’re doing something else while he’s talking about a serious issue, then we need to stop and sit down, and give our undivided attention.  If it makes a difference to our mom that we check the stove one more time before you leave the kitchen, then we make her feel cared for, and can do it again.

These are the small and important ways that we can let someone know they are important to us.

It’s the Substance of what builds or breaks down any relationship.

Many of us have felt that overwhelmingly warm feeling when someone does something for us… It specifically hits our hearts.  “Ah…how grateful I am that they took out the recycling!  I love an ordered home…”  It’s something that puts you at  peace.  And that positive energy allows you to give more.

“What’s Important to You is Important to Me.”

What a beautiful way to live…

The Human Touch by Spencer Michael Free ~ Don’t Get So Busy On Your Phone You Forget to Truly Connect!

 

A photo by Jonathan Velasquez. unsplash.com/photos/4mta-DkJUAgThis simple poem reminds us that genuine friendship is about the closeness of hands, hearts, and souls. It also, incidentally, captures the profundity of “touch” between Helen Keller, who was blind, deaf and barely speaking, and her mentor Anne Mansfield Sullivan.

 

“Tis the human touch in this world that counts,

The touch of your hand and mine,

Which means far more to the fainting heart

Than shelter and bread and wine;

For shelter is gone when the night is o’er,

And bread lasts only a day,

But the touch of the hand and the sound of the voice

Sing on in the soul alway.”

friendship

Please put your cellphone down right now, and touch or help someone who needs it.  That’s where the true connection in life is!

 

Spencer Michael Free was a poet who graduated from the College of Physicians and Suregons at John Hopkins University in 1880. Later, he went on to practice medicine and surgery. He taught natural philosophy, chemistry, Latin and algebra at Ohio Wesleyan University. In addition, Free had a passion for the arts and letters which led to his writing hundreds of medical papers as well as poems.He tried several times to enlist in the army and wished to protect our country abroad. However, he never did, so instead he wrote and aimed to give his readers a sense of hope.

The Human Touch was written shortly after World War I and the poem urges a sense of love and humanity. Free also published Shawnee Cabin and Other Poems. While he was not healing people of their physical ailments, he worked for various charitable organizations throughout his life.

A Time to Talk [NOT ON YOUR CELLPHONE] by Robert Frost

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Living and Giving Team, I am asking you to talk today, and not about work. Talk to someone for joy. Talk to them for fun. Talk to them to give support.  And, do it live. There is nothing like slowing down, being present, and listening to another’s heart. Remember, it will change your life, too.

Lovingly, Pamela

 

“When a friend calls to me from the road

And slows his horse to a meaning walk,

I don’t stand still and look around

On the hills I haven’t hoed,

And shout from where I am, What is it?

No, not as there is a time to talk.

I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground

Blade-end up and five feet tall,

And plod: I go up to the stone wall

For a friendly visit.”

 

RB in the hauz

A native San Franciscan, Robert Frost is a four-time Pulitzer Prize winner in poetry.  His work mainly focused on making sense of complicated social and philosophical themes of rural life. He had six children with his wife, Elinor. Sadly, 4 of those children died at a young age. Consequently, Frost had a very difficult personal life, and he wrote powerful literature. Soon after moving to England with his family, Frost published his first book of poems which did very well. When he returned to the states, he was well received by the literary world. His works were so popular that he was soon published by those who had rejected him before his move to England, including The Atlantic. 

Frost was best known for his ability to depict rural life and the countryside. His first book of poems, A Boy’s Will, was published in 1912. Shortly after, he published North of Boston. One of his most famous individual poems is “The Road Not Taken.

Frost then became a professor at several colleges. At Amherst College, they named their main library after Frost. Throughout his life he received more than 40 honorary degrees.  He was asked to write and recite a poem for the John F. Kennedy’s inauguration, a huge honor.  His legacy still lives on today as he is one of the most famous poets.