In a recent article in Forbes, Dr. Steven Berglas discussed how people react to accepting total responsibility for their lives–and how to handle it when that idea is too overwhelming. The article is “You Are In Control–Scary, Right?” and here is a brief excerpt:
I have struggled to understand what makes people tick for 40 years, and I am still constantly amazed by the ironies of human behavior. Among the most perplexing: the reactions I observe when clients (grown-up, executive types) grasp, for the first time, that they alone are in control of–and 100% responsible for–their destinies.
To feel unequivocally that you hold all the cards, that no one else is around to assume blame for failure, and that in the end it’s your game to win or lose–now that’s powerful. Empowering? Not so much.
Dr. Berglas goes on to talk about how we can confront those fears and go on to pursue our goals. I’d like to share my response.
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Dr. Berglas, I always love your insightful, informative posts. What you speak to here is simply jumping in. And trusting. And therefore having a sense of “humble confidence.”
I think we can do that if we are authentically called. Here are some helpful questions:
1) Is this something you feel compelled to provide for our world?
2) Will it improve our world?
3) Are you supposed to be the creator, operator or leader of this idea?
If you can’t positively answer the above questions, then I wouldn’t jump. Then it simply becomes human will or ego. And that’s never enough….. In fact, it’s a downright detriment. It impedes progress; and even if you do achieve some measure of results, it doesn’t represent true success. Success of yourself as a person, integrity and right motives.
When I started UniversalGiving, I certainly didn’t have all the answers. However, I could answer that I felt UniversalGiving met a need in a new way, and that I felt my life should be devoted to it. From that motive, each step was put before me, or I was open to each step presented and ready to seize it. Sometimes it seemed I could see 10 paces ahead; sometimes a white, blank sheet. But I could see that the vision of helping our communities and being a part of ending poverty, was always a right goal, and always a right goal in life. And from that stemmed a humble confidence, which has gently yet forthrightly and proactively led me each step of the way.
I say humble, because we have to realize how many forces for good come to our aid to help us acheive our goals. It’s an entire world of positive factors and people which makes true success occur.
We can be confident and forge ahead, if we are impelled by right values.