Tag Archives: children

The Classic Pamela Positive: Better To Make a Few Mistakes Being Natural

 

“Better to make a few mistakes being natural than to do everything out of a feeling of worry.”

 

The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care, Dr. Benjamin Spock, 1946

 

 

toddler-439112_640

 

It’s better to make a few mistakes being natural.   It’s important to be who we are in a natural, real way.  If we get everything right, and are absolutely perfect, but it’s done with anxiety…. then it actually isn’t right, is it?

 

What we do needs to be done with care, love, calm.  With joy and sincerity…and since Dr. Benjamin Spock was a famous leader in parenting in the 40s, I’ll take his advice not only for parenting, but also for management.  And for our communications, how we live our lives, how we treat others…

 

******

 

Dr. Spock was an influential writer on childrearing, who advocated for increased flexibility and affection in the treatment of infants and children. He was a pediatrician and his book entitled Baby and Childcare is one of the best selling books in history. Aside from that work, he also published 12 other books. He was an activist, involved in the anti-war movements in the 1960s and 1970s. While at Yale University, he became an Olympic gold medalist in rowing. He married Jane Cheney and they had two children together.

The Classic Pamela Positive: Sit Down at the Table

 

“…they’ve done studies on children who are required to sit down at the family table and those who are not.  And the ones who are score higher academically; they’re more well adjusted.”

– Paula Deen, Food Network Star

 

 

family-eating-at-the-table-619142_640

 

 

Sit down, be present, share. It’s not just about community, about family… but also about being the best we can be. Sitting down at the table with your loved ones for a mealtime shares love, and, helps you reach your goals!

 

*****

 

Paula Deen was born Paula Hiers in Albany, Georgia, the daughter of Corrie A. (née Paul) and Earl Wayne Hiers, Sr. Her parents died before she was 23, and an early marriage ended in divorce. In her 20s, Deen suffered from panic attacks and agoraphobia. She then focused on cooking for her family as something she could do without leaving her house.

 

Her grandmother Irene Paul had taught her the hand-me-down art of Southern cooking; one of the only places she felt safe was at her own stove, making thousands of pots of chicken and dumplings.  She later moved to Savannah, Georgia, with her sons. In 1989, she divorced her husband, Jimmy Deen, to whom she had been married since 1965.  She tried hanging wallpaper, working as a bank teller, selling real estate and insurance. She then started a catering service,  making sandwiches and meals, which her sons Jamie and Bobby delivered.

Bio Source: Wikipedia

The Classic Pamela Positive: “When The Child Welcomes The Mother, The Mother Rushes Off To Her”

 

“When the child welcomes the mother, the mother rushes off to her” 

 

 – Deborah Santana

 

I am not someone who cancels meetings or dinners very often, simply because it’s something to reschedule and I like to stay committed.  And yet the main reason I will cancel — as would one of my cherished friends, Deborah Santana — is for family.

 

 

Mother

 

 

Deborah emailed me that she needed to move our dinner, because her daughter invited her to a weekend together in Seattle.  I love what she said, and it warmed my heart… “When the child welcomes the mother, the mother rushes off to her.”  A mother should go to her child first.

 

There is no more important reason in the world.

The Classic Pamela Positive: How You Can Give Back To A Youth- Without Money

 

 

mm-tey-676919-unsplash.jpg

 

 

Do you know what some of the greatest needs of our youth today are? Love.

Trust.

Safety.

Kindness.

 

 

sue-zeng-531514-unsplash (1).jpg

 

 

So many of our youth need tangible, practical support.

Here are three key areas:

 

    1. Emotional Support

 

That’s having someone who’s there to listen and to support you with whatever you are feeling, or facing.

 

    2. Inspirational Support

 

This means that you are encouraging them to live their best lives and showing they can take a step forward, they can make a difference in their lives. Eventually, you want it to be not just about them, but about the future world that they’ll help create.

 

rhondak-native-florida-folk-artist-83553-unsplash (1).jpg

 

 

    3. High Level Support

 

These are conversations that help youth understand how the world works and how they can impact the world. This makes them feel like their day-to-day and the world is “navigable”. How in a job they can support their future family. How they can march for freedom. How there is Temporary Assistance for Needy Families to help them get food and day-to-day support.

 

    4. High-Level Attention

 

Many kids have been neglected. They might have been left on the streets. Or they might have parents who don’t have time for them, or don’t wish to spend time.

So how is it, exactly, that you can help? With your committed, High-Level Attention. Here some of the qualities that you can embody with any youth you encounter.

 

 Be

      Nurturing.

Provide a

      friendship.

       Give them

          some love.

    Express

        compassion.

Be

      empathetic.

 

         Affirm every good decision

            and every good word they speak.

   

    Help be a model for caring relationships,

       by caring for them.

 

 

jeffrey-lin-714756-unsplash (1).jpg

 

 

    5. Recognize Any Accomplishment

During your time with them, you can identify their strengths and I would repeat it often. Remember, they missed out on needed, life-giving encouragement.   Everyone needs to hear that they’re good at something and often.

 

Recognize them for any accomplishment.

 

 

jason-leung-479251-unsplash (1).jpg

 

 

Celebrate their accomplishments, and often. Bring it up again and again. You’re essentially saying:

 

I see you.

 

I see you too,

Pamela

 

 

Citations:
Fig. 1: Photo by Mm Teng on Unsplash
Fig. 2: Photo by Sue Zeng on Unsplash
Fig. 3: Photo by RhondaK on Unsplash
Fig. 4: Photo by Jeffrey Lin on Unsplash
Fig. 5: Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

Congratulations to Viet Thanh Nguyen!

Congratulations to Viet Thanh Nguyen who won the MacArthur Award for representing a diverse span of Vietnamese viewpoints.

He immigrated here as a refugee after the Vietnam War, during a time when 1.6 million Vietnamese were resettled. Around 120,000 Vietnamese were resettled into the United States. He’s a representative of this population, the war, resettlement.  It was a time where 2,709,918 Americans served in Vietnam, and also more than 2 million civilians were killed in Vietnam, alone. He has embraced these experiences in his native homeland to become an outstanding author and cultural storyteller.

 

Screen Shot 2018-06-16 at 4.34.47 PM.png(Graph: https://www.migrationpolicy.org/article/vietnamese-immigrants-united-states)

 

One of Nguyen’s great best-selling novels is called The Sympathizer, which explores one viewpoint of the Vietnam War through a spy for the Vietcong. In addition, he’s written fact-based historical works such as Nothing Ever Dies: Vietnam and the Memory of War; his latest is titled The Refugees. Nguyen’s focus is on finding people’s voices — uplifting them — and putting them out there for representation.

 

Screen Shot 2018-06-16 at 4.34.56 PM.png

 

One of the areas which he speaks about is listening to and understanding and representing different viewpoints about our world. In this way he helps us take into account other people’s perspectives. It helps them and helps ourselves be more understanding. Only by truly taking in many people’s hearts can we build an embedded, connected and understanding world.

 

Screen Shot 2018-06-16 at 4.35.05 PM.png

 

Will you help build our world today?  Here are ways you can support the Vietnamese community, its children and its entrepreneurship today. Perhaps you’ll see a different view of our world, the war, and how you can help!

Volunteer to build homes and teach children in Vietnam: http://www.universalgiving.org/donate/volunteer_for_education_in_vie/id8222.do

Support disabled and orphaned children in Vietnam: http://www.universalgiving.org/donate/support_orphan_disable_childre/id11143.do

Help teach English in Vietnam: http://www.universalgiving.org/donate/volunteer_for_education_in_vie/id8222.do

 

*********

 

“Viet Thanh Nguyen’s novel The Sympathizer is a New York Times best seller and won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. Other honors include the Dayton Literary Peace Prize, the Edgar Award for Best First Novel from the Mystery Writers of America, the Andrew Carnegie Medal for Excellence in Fiction from the American Library Association, the First Novel Prize from the Center for Fiction, a Gold Medal in First Fiction from the California Book Awards, and the Asian/Pacific American Literature Award from the Asian/Pacific American Librarian Association. … He is the Aerol Arnold Chair of English and a Professor of English, American Studies and Ethnicity, and Comparative Literature at the University of Southern California. He is a critic-at-large for the Los Angeles Times and a contributing opinion writer for the New York Times.”

Bio taken from: https://vietnguyen.info/author-viet-thanh-nguyen

The Classic Pamela Positive: Sit Down at the Table

family-eating-at-the-table-619142_640“…they’ve done studies on children who are required to sit down at the family table and those who are not.  And the ones who are score higher academically; they’re more well adjusted.”

– Paula Deen, Food Network Star

Sit down, be present, share. It’s not just about community, about family… but also about being the best we can be. Sitting down at the table with your loved ones for a mealtime shares love, and, helps you reach your goals!

Deen was born Paula Hiers in Albany, Georgia, the daughter of Corrie A. (née Paul) and Earl Wayne Hiers, Sr. Her parents died before she was 23, and an early marriage ended in divorce. In her 20s, Deen suffered from panic attacks and agoraphobia. She then focused on cooking for her family as something she could do without leaving her house.

Her grandmother Irene Paul had taught her the hand-me-down art of Southern cooking; one of the only places she felt safe was at her own stove, making thousands of pots of chicken and dumplings.  She later moved to Savannah, Georgia, with her sons. In 1989, she divorced her husband, Jimmy Deen, to whom she had been married since 1965.  She tried hanging wallpaper, working as a bank teller, selling real estate and insurance. She then started a catering service,  making sandwiches and meals, which her sons Jamie and Bobby delivered.

Bio Source: Wikipedia

The Classic Pamela Positive: Do It Anyway

Do It Anyway

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

This poem is widely attributed to Mother Teresa, after it was found hanging on a wall in her home for children in Calcutta.  It is a revised version of “The Paradoxical Commandments,” written by Dr. Kent M. Keith.  You can read more about the story on our UniversalGiving blog, PhilanthroPost.