Tag Archives: authenticity

The Classic Pamela Positive: How Mahatma Gandhi Teaches Us: Love And Change, Start With You Now

 

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

– Mahatma Gandhi

 

Mahatma-Gandhi,_studio,_1931.jpg

 

The keyword here from one of our greatest leaders is ‘be.’ Every day we have a chance to be. And the most important being is loving.

Being kind, gracious, and helping others. That can start today.

 

m6rT4MYFQ7CT8j9m2AEC_JakeGivens - Sunset in the Park.jpeg

 

We can and should whisk away frustration, for every moment of frustration is one not spent on being a positive force we hope to be.

What type of foundation are you building? One that crumbles from exhaustion and disbelief, cynicism? Or one of solidity, brick, by brick, with each brick contributing Principle, Love, Kindness, Grace, Strength, Truth, Joy…?

As Gandhi says… the other keyword here is ‘you.’ No one can do this for you. Not your partner, your parents, your best friend or your spouse.  You… are the being.

 


Mahatma Gandhi was a political and spiritual leader during the Indian Independence movement. He preached resistance through non-violence and mass civil disobedience. He led the Indian National Congress and advocated for the end of poverty, for women’s rights and for independence from Britain. He also renounced religious violence and did several fasts in protest against it. Gandhi was deeply inspired by his Hindu faith, while also drawing on other religious philosophy, and advocating religious tolerance. He married Kasturbai Gandhi and they had four children together.

Bio Source: Wikipedia, The Concept of Leadership  Fig¹. Photo by Wikimedia Commons  Fig². Photo by Jake Givens on Unsplash

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Better To Make a Few Mistakes Being Natural” – Dr. Benjamin Spock

 

“Better to make a few mistakes being natural than to do everything out of a feeling of worry.”

— Dr. Benjamin Spock

 

girl wearing pink camisole on brown plant during daytime

 

It’s better to make a few mistakes being natural.  It’s important to be who we are in a natural, real way.  If we get everything right, and are absolutely perfect, but it’s done with anxiety…. then it actually isn’t right, is it?

What we do needs to be done with care, love, calm.  With joy and sincerity…and since Dr. Benjamin Spock was a famous leader in parenting in the 40s, I’ll take his advice not only for parenting, but also for management.  And for our communications, how we live our lives, how we treat others…


Dr. Spock was an influential writer on childrearing, who advocated for increased flexibility and affection in the treatment of infants and children. He was a pediatrician and his book entitled Baby and Childcare is one of the best selling books in history. Aside from that work, he also published 12 other books. He was an activist, involved in the anti-war movements in the 1960s and 1970s. While at Yale University, he became an Olympic gold medalist in rowing. He married Jane Cheney and they had two children together.

Bio Source: Wikipedia  Fig¹. Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

The Classic Pamela Positive: What Motivates?

 

I had an hour and a half long conversation with a Dukie the other day, who pushed me to answer new questions! I love those conversations as they are so real and help us become better people, teachers, and learners.

Sinclair’s question was,

 

“You have a certain energy that inspires and drives people to action. How do you cultivate it, and how do you maintain it?”

 

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I don’t think there’s any surefire answer here. But here’s what I said:

“Dear Sinclair,

What a lovely question to ask, and one that is important for all of us. First, I will say that I find you equally motivating. It’s just that we have different personalities. For example, I might be more enthusiastically inspired, but you are more quietly and grounded inspired. Thus we are drawn together, as I might bring a higher energy and you bring a special stillness. Does that make sense?”

Sinclair, there are many different types of leadership. Just because someone seems more extroverted and external with it, doesn’t mean that’s the only type of leadership. Leadership can be about quietness, about listening, and even about knowing when to pause. To be a great leader, you need to master all communication skills, which include when to speak, how to speak, what the tone is, and when not to speak. It also includes body language, and most importantly, it includes your inner values and soul.

“So how then do you stay authentic with who you are?”

The words authenticity and transparency comes up a lot these days, and I appreciate it. As we become more oriented around machines, computers, iPads, phones, and the social media explosion of Vine, no Vine, Instagram, Snapchat—it disappears, Pinterest—Facebook—Twitter—former Friendster; it becomes very confusing. Our identities need to be aligned. So here’s what I do, and it’s a constant quest every day. Leadership isn’t something you attain and let go. Leadership is something you believe in, live, and maintain. That’s what makes life so exciting!

Remember these tips are only from me. You might find that other people have a different view. In order to stay authentic, I keep my priorities very clear. I know that my life calling is to be the best Pamela Hawley I can be, not just to deliver the best UniversalGiving®. Therefore, I have to take a higher view than just my profession, my job, or even a calling. Even with a calling, you still have to put your identity and your values first. So how do I do that? First, you need to know that UniversalGiving® comes third in my life. Yes, that’s right. As much as I love it, as much as it is my calling and not a job, it comes third in my life. So I’m going to be pretty naked here, and let you know how my life works.

 

gray computer monitor

 

Priorities:

#1. God, Love, and/or Nature

I believe in a governing force of good for our universe. That means our universe is run based on certain principles that are loving, kind, and filled with integrity. Some people call that God, some people call it Love (it’s not just human love), and some people may relate to it as nature. The point is that there is a law of options going on in the universe that allows for the greatest good to occur. It’s our job to hook into it, work with it, and accelerate as much good as we can in our lifetimes. That will then pass onto others and reflect the true goodness that exists in this universe.

 

river near mountains

 

Our foundation of the world and ourselves is based on goodness, and we need to pay more attention to that, rather than all of the nuisances, annoyances, negative suggestions, negative thoughts, and challenging interactions we have with personalities. You can make that a huge part of reality or you can go back to your view of a loving universe, and make that your focus. So you have to train your mind and heart, in God or Love, every day, every moment.

 

#2. Family (…and Friends)

Family is absolutely essential. It’s where we attain a sense of peace, grounding, and comfort. I know for myself, I grew up with a mom who baked me chocolate chip cookies, sat with me after school in second grade, and listened to me. We did workbooks together, we talked about life, and I felt she was always there for me. To this day, if I call her, ninety percent of the time she picks up the phone; she’s present. She’s family, and she’s my grounding, as are many other members of my family.

 

family of five standing near trees during daytime

 

Family extends into many areas. For example, with my nephews and nieces, I was fortunate enough to take care of them many Saturday nights when they were growing up. I got them at the “meltdown” phase at around 3 o’clock and spent the night. I learned a lot! I bonded with them in ways I cannot even imagine. Today? I just called Connor, my 17-year-old nephew, to congratulate him on his soccer game. Maybe not so many teenagers would pick up their aunt’s call, but he does, and we have a conversation even if he’s in the middle of building a creative project for school. We just have that connection.

I really don’t see the point in life of being this major “success” if you don’t have that family to share it with. A family to inspire you, a family that you inspire. And with that, there’s a sense of peace. You know where you come from, you know what your values are, and when the world gets too heavy, you can go home to that values, whether that’s in a physical structure, or in your heart. It’s irreplaceable.

 

man and woman holding their daughter

 

Equally important are friends. Those friends are absolutely a part of your family network. I have friends with whom I have standing weekly or monthly meetings. For example, my “second moms” are women who were a very important part of my life growing up. I have monthly or quarterly lunches set up with them. I don’t want to take them for granted and just see them at the holiday party. I want to know how they are, hear how they are, and support them as they have supported me. It’s a true, ongoing relationship rather than a once-a-year fond remembrance.

 

photo of woman beside another woman at seashore

 

#3. UniversalGiving®

I don’t have a job—I have a calling! Every day I get up, I love what I do. I love being a social entrepreneur, and I love serving the world. I love volunteering, and I love helping scale the fact that thousands of other people can volunteer. So for me, it’s just a constant flow of doing good for the world, and helping my team do that, as well as reach their best. In summary, UniversalGiving helps people donate and volunteer in hundreds of countries across the world.

 

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Within that, I also rope in my volunteer events. I’m a consistent volunteer at City Impact, helping in the Tenderloin with everything from passing out food, doing apartment visits, to preparing Thanksgiving meals. I’m also a C.A.S.A., a Court-Appointed Special Advocate, which is a legal advocate for foster care youth who are often on the street. You work with them on a weekly, and sometimes daily basis to make sure they have food, housing, a listening ear, eyeglasses, job training, and whatever they might need. Many of them have had little or no training or modeling their entire life, so a lot of what you do also works on just helping them with social skills, and teaching them how to survive in the world.

 

#4. Improv

How I love improv! And you might think, “Well, how does this tie into the rest?” Improv is an incredible joy. It allows you to connect with your fellow actors on stage, and to be a true partner.

 

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It requires great creativity and quick thinking. It equally requires great listening and taking the back seat. It’s about sharing.

It’s about building. It’s about creating a scene from nothing. And in order to do that, you have to have absolute trust with your partner.

And isn’t that what life is? Sometimes you have to respond immediately, you always have to listen, and you need to be a great friend or partner in life—whether that’s in business, a marriage, or a friendship. So it actually synergizes. But even if it doesn’t, it’s so much fun! You should have things like that in your life, that seem opposite to everything else you do. As my oma, one of the greatest flutists in our generation, and the first woman at Juilliard for flute said, “You need to get out there and kick up your heels once in awhile!” She was an extremely hard-worker and helped support her family during the depression. Her point was, get out there and dance. Get out there and have fun. Work hard and yet, live a little.

 

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So, Sinclair, I’m not sure this fully answered your question, but this is how I try to maintain my true self and identity in life. Thank you for asking such an important question, and I hope this helps you in your journey!


Fig¹.  Photo by Ben White on Unsplash  Fig². Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash  Fig³. Photo by Mark Koch on Unsplash Fig⁴. Photo by Blake Barlow on Unsplash Fig⁵. Photo by Jeniffer Araújo on Unsplash  Fig⁶. Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash  Fig⁹. Photo by Andrew Rice on Unsplash

The Classic Pamela Positive: I Love What Howard Zinn Writes: Hope Is Not Certainty… but Being Open to Possibilities…

 

“…I intend to be the voice of reasonable optimism, to figure out a passage through this tough time. To have hope, one does not need certainty, only possibility.”

-Howard Zinn

 

I love how Howard Zinn focuses on maintaining the human spirit. Throughout his life dedication to combatting injustice, striving to help those marginalized, and being involved in a brutal World War, Howard held his views of hope.

 

S_S_Hope

 

Let’s keep our minds open to the great possibilities which abound before us. There is always a way, a pathway, a new opportunity, a new possibility. A New Hope!

 


Howard Zinn (1922-2010) was a historian, author, and activist. He was a pilot in WWII, an experience which shaped his outspoken opposition of war. He was a professor of political science for many years at Boston University as well as Spelman College. He is best known for his book, A People’s History of the United States, presenting history from the point of view of the marginalized. Zinn married Roslyn Shechter in 1944. They had a daughter, Myla, and a son, Jeff.

Bio Source: Wikipedia


Fig¹.  Photo from Wikimedia Commons

The Classic Pamela Positive: How Mahatma Gandhi Teaches Us: Love and Change, Start with You Now

 

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

– Mahatma Gandhi

 

Image result for Mahatma Gandhi

 

The key word here from one of our greatest leaders is ‘be.’ Every day we have a chance to be. And the most important being is loving. Being kind, gracious, and helping others. That can start today. We can and should whisk away frustration, for every moment of frustration is one not spent on being the positive force we hope to be. What type of foundation are you building? One that crumbles from exhaustion and disbelief, cynicism? Or one of solidity, brick, by brick, with each brick contributing Principle, Love, Kindness, Grace, Strength, Truth, Joy…? As Gandhi says… the other key word here is ‘you.’ No one can do this for you. Not your partner, your parents, your best friend or your spouse.  You… are the being.

 


Mahatma Gandhi was a political and spiritual leader during the Indian Independence movement. He preached resistance through non-violence and mass civil disobedience. He led the Indian National Congress and advocated for the end of poverty, for women’s rights and for independence from Britain. He also renounced religious violence and did several fasts in protest against it. Gandhi was deeply inspired by his Hindu faith, while also drawing on other religious philosophy, and advocating religious tolerance. He married Kasturbai Gandhi and they had four children together.

Bio Source: Wikipedia, The Concept of Leadership


Fig¹.Photo by Wikimedia Commons

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Man Was Never Intended to Become an Oyster” – Theodore Roosevelt

 

“Get action. Seize the moment. Man was never intended to become an oyster.”

– Theodore Roosevelt

 

Man Climbing on Gray Concrete Peak at Daytime

 

Theodore Roosevelt was a true action man. He tumbled down the rivers of Brazil in turbulent times in South America. He took a stand for civil rights when it was not popular to do so. He defied the odds in elections, time and time again. He was persecuted and persevered in so many realms, overcoming his fears. And, he became president!

We must be hearty of soul and heart, and achieve great things.

This is not just an historical figure. You can achieve greatness too!

Believing In Your Greatness,

Pamela

 


President Theodore Roosevelt Jr. is famous for his larger-than-life personality, adventurous lifestyle, and strong opinions. He was an avid outdoorsman all his life, fought in the Spanish American War, wrote books on history and naturalism, and made expeditions to Africa and South America. He was prominent in politics, holding a number of offices; he is still the youngest person to be President of the United States.  Though popularly known as “Teddy” (and the inspiration for “teddy bears”), Roosevelt actually disliked the nickname, considering it too informal. He married Alice Lee in 1880, with whom he had one child before she passed away. He would later marry Edith Carow and they would have five children together.

Bio Source: Wikipedia


Fig¹.Photo by Rodrigo on Pexels

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Better To Make a Few Mistakes Being Natural” – Dr. Benjamin Spock

 

“Better to make a few mistakes being natural than to do everything out of a feeling of worry.”

— Dr. Benjamin Spock

 

girl wearing pink camisole on brown plant during daytime

 

It’s better to make a few mistakes being natural.  It’s important to be who we are in a natural, real way.  If we get everything right, and are absolutely perfect, but it’s done with anxiety…. then it actually isn’t right, is it?

 

What we do needs to be done with care, love, calm.  With joy and sincerity…and since Dr. Benjamin Spock was a famous leader in parenting in the 40s, I’ll take his advice not only for parenting, but also for management.  And for our communications, how we live our lives, how we treat others…

 


Dr. Spock was an influential writer on childrearing, who advocated for increased flexibility and affection in the treatment of infants and children.  He was a pediatrician and his book entitled Baby and Childcare is one of the best selling books in history.  Aside from that work, he also published 12 other books.  He was an activist, involved in the anti-war movements in the 1960s and 1970s.  While at Yale University, he became an Olympic gold medalist in rowing.  He married Jane Cheney and they had two children together.

Bio Source: Wikipedia 


Fig¹.Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash