Why You Shouldn’t Have a Best Friend

Everyone has a best friend. Don’t they? Many of us have grown up saying “She’s my best friend.”

But you shouldn’t. By having one best friend, you’re limiting your circle of intimacy and kindness. We have so many unique people who come into our lives at different times. They should be cherished as individuals, in the particular situation. In addition, having one best friend can exclude others, when where we want to be headed is expanding our concept of loving and giving, at every point we can.

Different people can be your best friend at different times. Sometimes you might have someone who really helps you through a challenging situation. You might have lost someone special, and it might surprise you which person in your life helps you work through that particular experience, or, how you might help someone else.

When this occurs, this person is your special angel, for that time. They were a gift, being your kindest, most comforting confidante, at that moment. They were the “best” for you then. And of course, we should be thinking about how we can be that “best” for numerous other people we encounter in life.

The other reason to not have one best friend is that the expectations are high. How can someone be the best friend at all times? We all go through rough spots where we can be less or more present.  So we might not be the best friend we’d hope to be!

Further, there might be parts of your own individual experience that allow you to really help someone. Maybe it’s about a challenging marriage, business situation, roommate or upcoming test.  Your personal, unique life experience can be the best help to someone, in that one area.

Knowing that you have an enlarged, wonderful circle of people who are your supporters, and that you are part of numerous circles of supporters to others, helps keep the flow of goodness and giving going. We can’t force all the great giving in our lives down one river or channel.

Instead, many beautiful tributaries are flowing to us, and from us, which keep love, companionship, and goodness in full operation.

My recommendation, actually, is that we do have best friends. But you can have many – an army of best friends if you like. These are what my nephews used to call “my specials.” All of us are so grateful for those special people who surround us with their unique love and support. And of course, we should always be thinking about how we can help others with a “best” listening ear for a particular situation, or a “best” phone call at a time of need for someone dear.

So onwards we go — multiple best friends for all. May our tributaries of giving and receiving love multiply, healing and uplifting our world, without exclusion.

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