In Order to Love, You Must First Learn

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“The greatest of human emotions is love. The most valuable of human gifts is the ability to learn. Therefore learn to love.”  – UJ Ramdas

Oh! Dear Leaders today… may we embrace this lovely admonition. Our life is a beautiful life, at home at work, in the depths of despair, in the positive celebrations. We must continue to learn, and continue to love.

I will share this story with you. Early on in my work life, I was running my second company around age 31? 32? And my heart was all in it. It was my calling; it was UniversalGiving. And had worked very hard to get it off the ground.

We were building the team, and it was a young team. Like me… so some were only a few years younger than me, or my age! What to do.

Kindness was key for me. That’s what I grew up with in my home, and I didn’t know any differently. But now, there were points of difference. People wanted things done a certain way, weren’t gracious in their conversation, or they didn’t want to work as much, but we we’re still in startup mode and needed that extra effort in the beginning (in the long-run though, I highly believe in balance!) And I cowtowed.

Because kindness ruled my day, I let that lead everything.

I let them do most everything they wanted, to maintain harmony.

But there wasn’t.

And I got walked on. And tremendously hurt.

And they spoke down to me. And I let it happen.

There were no boundaries.

And they lost respect for me.

And they left.

And I really, really hurt.

I was staying with my values of kindness, yet, it was a permissiveness that was not actually loving. Love can be strong, and kind, and with boundaries. So I had to learn.

This is why I highly agree with UJ Ramdas. We must love– but we must learn. I learned to love in higher, different way– one based on kindness, firmness and adherance to my values. And with that, my respect for myself — and others’ respect for me — returned. And I could rebuild the team.

If you have a challenge today, seek out what you need to learn, and how you need to love. That’s how we can be our best leadership self. Don’t wait — we start today.  (:

***

UJ Ramdas brings together his passion for psychology and business to create a better world. Along with Alex Ikon, he co-created the “Five Minute Journal” with the goal to enable people to be happier in five minutes a day. With a background in behavioral science, marketing, and hypnosis he consults with hundreds of clients to bring them out of confusion into clarity. Currently based in Toronto, Canada, he is a huge fan of wilderness, eastern meditative practices, and a good cup of tea. You can visit his website by clicking here.
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