This is a special piece I wrote when I was visiting my parents’ home. It was during a very tender time as I was going through my mid-life crisis at age 25. Here, I was waking up and saw the trees outside my bedroom window… I rested and reviewed my heart, my values, and what I value. And as I prayed I cleared my heart, bring so much peace… I hope you enjoy, “It was the swinging of the branches…” It was the swinging of the branches… and the gray in between which made me realize how much I love God and how much He loves me.
The mornings I wake up here, I see those trees above the line of my shutters. If I describe it, as gnarled, dry trees with stick branches extending out and crossing one another, with cold gray patches in between shouting an atmosphere of “colorless!”
My color is inside. It is warm when I awake and see my trees. They remind of complexity; and of reward. It is how I approach those trees, not the trees themselves, that resound with warmth.
There is a certain trust within that has escaped me for many years. It is a trust that gives everything over — but a specific belief, conviction that I am being led in the smallest surest moment. If I listen.
I think it’s true that the simpler I get the more grateful life means to me. Sometimes I just let thoughts like: pure, clear, simple, run over the surface of my thinking. I would like this more.
I think often of how much more, if I would listen, I can do for mankind and represent God. Then I know sometimes, I think, and too much. Just lovingly be. The thought will come to me.
God doesn’t so much work but expresses. I would do well to let him express through me rather than “working” on myself. It becomes involved more with the self rather than the spirit.
For example with piano, the goal seems empty if I just want to become a good piano player. I do love to play. But it is not enough. Somehow, I know God will make me a calmer, more beautiful, child of His who can give to others, if I listen and learn from the qualities I am practicing. Let go.
So I learned a lot from Rosanne. Aerobics training has forced me to become meticulous with detail, and it is not enough. That quality is there not so much for the aerobics but to serve in deeper ways. Quality alone is cold. Quality to serve, to understand, to give, is unquestionable.
And that’s the last thing I need to do right now. My spiritual energies are on love and listening. They are on expression and calm energy, devotion and gladness. They are on indefinable trust.
I am exhilarated, but calmly so. Welcome back, and stronger. There is a lot to see through the tangle of the trees. I am listening, I am listening. What do You want me to do?