Pamela’s Favorite…Pamela Positive
“What’s Important To You Is Important To Me”
This is one of my favorite statements. It helps me understand and sincerely care about others. When we truly listen to our family, friends, partners, team mates, improv players, then we can really hear…what’s important.
Sometimes it might be a clean kitchen. For others, it might be taking the dog for a walk or getting the car cleaned. Or it might be that you showed up at your daughter’s gymnastics recital. And sometimes, sitting down and listening to your boyfriend, while not multitasking and cleaning the dishes at the same time, may be the biggest sign of attention. It can even be as small as keeping your desk clean at work because you know it inspires your manager.
The point is, we all fall into habits. These habits are what are most comfortable, and convenient, for us. They are our priorities. But they are not necessarily important to others. Instead, we need to take a look at what motivates others.
So even if we can live with a messy desk, if we know the manager is inspired to see an ordered workspace, then we can try to rise to that new standard. If it bothers our companion that we’re doing something else while he’s talking about a serious issue, then we need to stop and sit down, and give our undivided attention. If it makes a difference to our mom that we check the stove one more time before you leave the kitchen, then we make her feel cared for, and can do it again.
These are the small and important ways that we can let someone know they are important to us.
It’s the Substance of what builds or breaks down any relationship.
Many of us have felt that overwhelmingly warm feeling when someone does something for us… It specifically hits our hearts. “Ah…how grateful I am that they took out the recycling! I love an ordered home…” It’s something that puts you at peace. And that positive energy allows you to give more.
“What’s Important to You is Important to Me.”
What a beautiful way to live…
During the Edo era in Japan (1603-1868), the only wood they’d use from the forest was if a branch had fallen from a tree. In the same way, we don’t pick fruit before it’s ripe. We don’t wrench the tomato from the vine until it’s ready to give itself to us. Perhaps, then, the message for us in present-day as well is, don’t cut down the wood until the tree is ready to release its branch.
I’m fortunate enough to have grown up with a very small vegetable garden that my parents maintained. We often ate vegetables for dinner from the garden, picked flowers, grew corn, potatoes, zucchini. We also had our “volunteer plants,” meaning seeds that happened to pop up, nurture themselves, and volunteer their wonderful offerings to us. Sometimes it might be a type of berry, a different tomato plant, or a flower.
Let’s encourage all the “volunteers” in our lives. Whether they be unexpected gifts, new people, or effortless events that pop up into our lives to help, inspire, or encourage us. Not everything has to be done through an act of will. Sometimes goodness shows up on its own… and we should embrace and be grateful for its welcome entrance into our lives…
Try to use all the natural light that comes to us from our earth. Green light is light from the sun, and not fluorescent bulbs. In fact, I’d even go so far to say that what a wonderful world it would be if we operated based on when our day was light — and our night was dark. Our body rhythms would be in tune with this natural course of living. Perhaps light is sending us a message of when we should work, engage with people, and when we should sleep, rest, rejuvenate.
A home should be inspiring. All the objects in your home should reinforce your values and character. Home should be a respite of calm and peace, and a reflection of who you are.
A home should demonstrate moderation. Homes should reflect what is needed. Meet your needs, and then embrace moderation and simplicity.
A home should have balance. The best homes reflect a sense of balance within the spaces, allowing for different types of activities. Some may be more energetic, others which are more peaceful.
The days of “linear giving” are over — what I mean is, it’s not “I give you this, you give me that.” That’s Linear Giving and it doesn’t always happen.
First, you can’t truly give with the expectation that you are going to get something in return. It’s just not the right motivation. And it will upset the balance of giving, turning it into something it’s not…
We need to give because we sincerely want to. Because it’s the right thing to do. It’s helpful, kind, nourishing to the world. And ultimately it does help ourselves… we feel nourished and uplifted by the mere act of being generous.
And it won’t stop there. More good will continue to come to you, in ways you never expected. From different places, different sources, and in unique ways! It’s truly quite exciting…to see good unfold, when we let it go.
So let’s not give and expect back. It’s not A gives to B, and B to gives to A.
It’s A gives to B. And then A gives to C and D. Then X, M, Q and V give back to A at different times and ways in the future.
It’s circular, spherical, timeless, unbound, everconnecting giving… which is taking place, and always has been.
“Do you know what absolute happiness is? For me, it is to wake up to my kids in the morning—these little pieces of innocence—to wake them and find they’re so happy to see me! It is unequivocal love, no question about it.”
Although Michael Douglas is facing a challenging time with his health, he shows us all what our priorities should be. Thank you, Michael, for valuing what is important in life. We wish continued health and happiness for you and your family.
Michael Douglas is an actor, best known for starring in Basic Instinct, Fatal Attraction and Wall Street, for which he won an Oscar for Best Actor. He is married to Catherine Zeta-Jones. They have two children together, and Douglas also has a third child from a previous marriage. Douglas is a United Nations Messenger of Peace, with a focus on nuclear disarmament and human rights.