Tag Archives: relationships

The Classic Pamela Positive: “Love Many, Trust a Few, And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe”

“Love Many, Trust a Few, And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe”
–Terri, from Coudersport, PA, as seen on Dark Chocolate Dove Wrapper

Terri has it right.  What a joy to enjoy dark chocolate, which I love, with a truly inspired quote.

Life affords us so many ways to love, and how important we keep doing so.  At the same time, we have to be careful, and so Trust, or entrusting ourselves to others, perhaps must be a bit more rare.  I wish it weren’t so…however, everyone is on their pathway of personal growth.  So we must honor them, honor ourselves: We should always love, but not necessarily entrust to others.

As far as paddling one’s own canoe.  As my Oma says, “You’d better put a little elbow grease into that.”  She was always ensuring she had pulled her weight. In fact, when I went over to Oma’s for a sleepover as a young child, even at the age of 8 or 9, our fun together — was working together.   We scrubbed the kitchen floor on hands and knees, sharpened pencils, and wrote up a list for the freezer so she knew what was in there.  She taught me to care about being clean, ordered and organized, which made her home special.  She made it fun.  I loved working with my Oma.

Terri, we thank you for a quote which has delighted us all!

The Classic Pamela Positive: Keep Your Balance

I think one key point in life is to maintain balance–balance between time for work, time for loved ones, time for oneself, time for interests outside of one’s business. It’s so important to keep that balance, or we’ll simply burn-out.

I remember once when I was young in my career, and meeting with a fairly older, single woman. She was a successful venture capitalist. I don’t know that I would consider her life successful. She traveled the world incessantly and was on every important board. But she seemed tired and joy was scarce. She told me to “Pack it all in.”

I didn’t. I kept my balance. I started a nonprofit and I did creative improv. I took care of my very young nephews and niece. I loved life and I loved the people in my life.

We need to be renewed. We need to feel honored as whole, functioning people with families, outside interests, balanced lives, as well as our commitment to achieving the goals and vision of the organizations we run. The beauty of this balance is that I come back energized to UniversalGiving. My mind has had “time off” and is thrilled to re-engage with our efforts to serve. I look at challenges in a new light. My energy is renewed. I bring new skills to the table; my thoughts are stronger and more helpful. It’s better for me–and for my organization.

The Classic Pamela Positive: Philanthropy – Start Loving Others Now

While it is commonly accepted, I’m not sure I agree that philanthropy means giving away ‘money.’ Instead, philanthropy is the love of humanity, of people. And what I cherish about this definition is that it is accessible to anyone, at any time. We can all be philanthropists. Whether you are getting the drycleaning, having a conversation with your boss or coworker, or saying a kind hello to a homeless person, you are a philanthropist. Philanthropy should be, and is, accessible to all.  I love that we can start loving others now!

Poem: A Devout Lover by Thomas Randolph

I have a mistress, for perfections rare

In every eye, but in my thoughts most fair.

Like tapers on the altar shine her eyes;

Her breath is the perfume of sacrifice;

And wheresoe’er my fancy would begin,

Still her perfection lets religion in.

We sit and talk, and kiss away the hours

As chastely as the morning dews kiss flowers:

I touch her, like my beads, with devout care,

And come unto my courtship as my prayer

- Thomas Randolph

—✶—

Thomas Randolph (15 June 1605 – March 1635) was an English poet and dramatist. He was born at Newnham, England to William and Elizabeth Randolph. Thomas was awarded Master of Arts in 1631, and became a major fellow of his college in the same year. He wrote epitaphs for people close to the family when he was 16. Thomas was one of the most popular playwrights of his time and was expected to become Poet Laureate after Ben Johnson. It was his untimely death at age of 29, two years before Johnson’s death, that prevented this. His famous printed works are “Aristippus”, “Or”, “The Joviall Philosopher. Presented in a private shew”, “To which is added”, and “The Conceited Pedlar”.

 

We can’t afford to think that tribalism is a problem that exists somewhere else. It is in our own backyards

“We can’t afford to think that tribalism is a problem that exists somewhere else.  It is in our own backyards, and needs to be healed there.”

Tribalism isn’t an ancient practice.  And it’s not obsolete — yet.  But you can be a part of making tribalism nonexistent.

Examine your day, your thoughts, your relationships. Where are you participating in an exclusive group?  It could be formal — or in your mind. It could a judgment about someone else that separates them away from you.

But we cannot be separated.   Remove yourself from your tribe, and embrace all in borderless love.

When Do You Fight? Only Because of Love

“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.”
-G.K Chesterton

A fight is never our first option. Whether that is a war on another land, or in a personal relationship, we want to first go to the place of peace and trust. It’s a place where all are loved and cared for; we live in that loving space together. And from there results a good outcome.

We prepare our minds with loving expectation, for any situation. That could be a challenging business relationship, something skewed in your marriage, an unrestful dating relationship, or a church relationship that just seems to feel ‘off.’ Or perhaps your child seems impenetrable and you just can’t get through.

But you can. And we do this by trusting that we are loved. That is where we start.

At times, however, we might need to take up our shield – – or our sword. In that day, we only do so to protect that loving place that everyone lives in. We defend love.

—✶—

G.K. Chesterton was a profound English writer of the 20th century who contributed across philosophy and poetry, as well as fiction.  Two of his best known works are Orthodoxy and The Everlasting Man. He also wrote a weekly column in The London Illustrated News for thirty years.  He was known for his incredible intellect, desire to decrease political divisions, and strong reasoning skills.

The Classic Pamela Positive: Happiness: “Spending Time with People You Love and Who Love You”

“It is only a slight exaggeration to say that happiness is the experience of spending time with people you love and who love you.”

- Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman 

Gifts and giving.  We associate so much of that with happiness.  Yet our one true Happiness is Loving Others.  Oh that sweet presence to just be around those we cherish and feel at home with!

 

                                                                          —✶—

Daniel Kahneman is an Israeli-American psychologist and Nobel laureate.  He is known for his work in the psychology of decision-making.  He was born in Tel Aviv, spent his childhood in France, and moved to Israel in the late 1940s.  He studied psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, and began his career as a lecturer there.  Kahneman has published extensively in psychology, and received the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economics in 2002 for his work on prospect theory.  He is currently on the faculty at Princeton.