The Classic Pamela Positive: “You Have to Find Out: How Do I Fit In Here?” – Heidi Klum

“You have to make things happen. There are bumps in the road: my agent, my weight, an industry looking for cool girls more than a commercial look. These are hurdles, and you have to find your way. You have to find out: How do I fit in here?”

– Heidi Klum, quoted in Elle Magazine

Heidi Klum, born in 1973 in Germany, is a supermodel, actress, businesswoman, and television producer. She produces and hosts the award-winning reality television show Project Runway and has appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated, Vogue, Elle, and Marie Claire.  She became widely known after appearing as a Victoria’s Secret Angel. Heidi is mother to four children, ranging from ages 2-8.

When Zero Tolerance for Bad Behavior Works – or Doesn’t

According to John Yemma editor of the Christian Science Monitor, some educational systems are failing regarding discipline. What did they do wrong?

These schools instituted A Zero Tolerance Policy. In this case, if student acted out there were ousted of school.  Never to return.

Most likely, those children needed to return.  If they spoke rudely, hit someone, talked back, they’ll simply continue that behavior.  Most likely, that is what they grew up with. Or, they grew up with no guidance at all.

Barring the door to school doesn’t stop a negative trend. Most of these innocent children don’t have the capability to think about negative consequences or what it means to not be in school. Yet for us, we know it can mean aimlessness, lack of critical thinking, minimal job training and no sense of life purpose.  It can also mean gangs, violence.

These children need to and deserve to return to love.  Yes, even if they hit someone.  Even if they were angry, feisty and violent.  We can give them a firm, disciplinary love — a new way of treatment they might not have experienced. That means we look at their situation differently.  They are innocents; their actions are not. We need to show them positive actions which lead to positive rewards. When their negative actions stop, they can have a pure pathway ahead.

Here’s what we can do: Welcome them back. Coach, guide and give positive incentives for positive behavior.  There are consequences for poor behavior, but not a “kick-out-and-close-the-door-policy.”   We don’t give  a negative consequence for negative behavior.  Show them firmly and resolutely the way to positive choices and actions.

You will change the school.  You will make our community safer and more productive for all.  You, can change their lives.

Everyone’s true potential is as a kind, contributing citizen in the classroom and outside. We can help them get there, through the pathway of disciplined love.

For the full article on some innovative solutions: http://bit.ly/13QmFyZ

Maasai Land: Taking a Stand for Home

Home.  What a kindness, security and blessing it is to each one of us.  We take it with us, wherever we go.

My heart drops when I read below about the Maasai tribe.  What does it feel like if your home is about to be taken away?   To make it real for yourself, simply imagine that below is your own home.

“Tanzania announced last week it plans to evict 30,000 Maasai herders from their ancestral lands in order to create a game reserve offering exclusive access for a Dubai-based hunting company. Maasai activists say the proposal, which reduces their space here by 40 percent, will destroy their traditional cattle-herding livelihood.

The Maasai once ranged across northern Tanzania and southern Kenya, following seasonal rains with their cattle…Now, they could be losing some of that land, too. According to the proposal, they would be locked out of the planned corridor, while Ortello Business Corp. (OBC), a Dubai-based hunting outfit that has operated in Loliondo since 1992, would be granted access.

…Numbers of women at sit-ins have swelled in recent days, with protesters refusing to leave, despite a further deployment of government troops that are driving the muddy roads of Loliondo in open air trucks waving dark red warning flags.”

- “Maasai Face Eviction from Ancestral Lands,” The Christian Science Monitor

We have to gently and firmly take a stand for home in every part of the world. I hope you will join me in supporting homes through UniversalGiving today.

Volunteer to renovate homes

Give to build earthquake-safe homes in Haiti

Support families in Palestine rebuilding their village

“We Are Losing Our Listening” – Julian Treasure

 

“We are losing our listening. We spend roughly 60% of our communication time listening, but we’re not very good at it. We retain just 25% of what we hear. Now, not you, not this talk, but that is generally true. Let’s define listening as ‘making meaning from sound.’ It’s a mental process, and it’s a process of extraction.“

Julian Treasure

“Five Ways to Listen Better“

TED talk

 

What a powerful opportunity we have to really listen to someone. It gives them our full attention and our devotion. In a way, it’s a potent way to love someone.  That person can be your husband, your friend, the doctor, the postmaster, the intern or the CEO at work.

I agree we should be mentally alert and strive to extract as much information as we can. At the same time, a compassionate, sincere listening will do wonders for your speaker’s soul, and your own.  It’s about honoring one another, which includes their heart, their ideas.

 

Julian Treasure studies sound, and advises businesses on how best to use it.  He is the chair of the Sound Agency. He asks us to pay attention to the sounds that surround us. How do they make us feel: productive, stressed, energized, acquisitive?  Treasure is the author of the book Sound Business and keeps a blog by the same name that ruminates on aural matters. In the early 1980s, Treasure was the drummer for the Fall-influenced band Transmitters.

Bio Source: TED.com

“Look Deeply and Recognize the Real Enemy” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“If I can say anything to you, it is to invite you to look deeply and recognize the real enemy. The enemy is not a person. That enemy is a way of thinking that has brought a lot of suffering for everyone.”

- Thich Nhat Hanh

Anything negative — is not from a person.

Radical thinking?  It shouldn’t be.   If we view the enemy as simply a thought and not a person, we depersonalize it.   It’s temporary, changeable.   And we allow the person to grow beyond it, rather than be it.

We can then eliminate personal offense, and work constructively towards a solution.

Look at the Why

If something seems to be negative, we can encourage ourselves to look at “the why.” Why might someone think, or take action, in this way?   This offers us an opportunity to develop empathy. Perhaps this person—let’s call her Jeanine—came from a difficult circumstance or has been hurt.

It’s not Jeanine who is “bad,” but the experiences which occurred in her life which impacted her.  It’s those events that led to the thinking and action behind negativity.

So Jeanine’s identity is not “Prejudice”, “Anger” or “Hurt”:

It’s instead:

The most beautiful thing about this is the following.

She can change.

Allow her to do so.  Wouldn’t we all wish to be forgiven for a past action?

Every day we can begin again.   We can embrace a new experience, a fresh purity, allowing us and others to live to our fullest.

Thich Nhat Hanh is a Buddhist monk and Zen master.  He is a well-known poet, writer and peace activist.  A native of Vietnam, during the Vietnam War he helped found the “engaged Buddhism” movement, combining the contemplative practice of the monastery with active ministry to victims of the conflict.  He founded the School of Youth Social Service, a Buddhist University, a publishing house, and a Vietnamese peace activist magazine.

During a trip to the United States, Thich Nhat Hanh persuaded Martin Luther King, Jr. to publicly oppose the Vietnam War; King subsequently nominated him for a Nobel Peace Prize.  Thich Nhat Hanh led the Buddhist delegation to the Paris Peace Talks.

Thich Nhat Hanh is the author of more than 85 books on mindfulness and peace.  He founded the Plum Village community in France, a Buddhist community in exile.   He continues to live and work at the Plum Village, and leads retreats worldwide on “the art of mindful living.”